The Tutor
by Shinigamis Night
Summary: Draco is forced to move in with his godfather after coming out to his parents and encounters a boy who may be more than he seems. Slash. AU. nonmagic. Not a 'Harry tutors Draco and they fall in love, the end' story.
1. Chapter 1

Updated: 10:06 PM 5/18/2009

* * *

I hate them, I thought as I paced in front of the headmaster's desk. I had been waiting for ten minutes and the headmaster still hadn't arrived.

I fucking hate them I repeated in my head, as I had everyday for the last couple of weeks. My parents....

I had decided it was finally time to come out, thinking they would accept it, as they usually did. It was past time that I told them. But, they went ballistic; they practically disowned me!

I felt betrayed.

I had always had a good relationship with my parents. I would have done anything for them, as their son, and had believed that they would love me enough that they could accept me for me. I was wrong. They were horrified, plain and simple.

I knew that my father would have wanted me to continue the family, plus my mother wanted grandchildren, and I don't want the Malfoys to end with me, but I couldn't do it, not anymore. Although I had slept with girls before, it was something I found next to impossible. I had thought about making a... donation, when I get older, with the stipulation that the child carry the Malfoy name, or a surrogate mother, but to actually marry a woman... and then be with her for the rest of my life... I considered marriage to be forever. I really couldn't picture myself marrying anyone, for that matter.

It had taken me all morning to work up the confidence to tell them. First, I had woke up in a cold sweat, dreading their possible reactions, but still tried to be confident as I got dressed and walked to the dining room. After what had happened... with him, if no one else I could admit it to them. They would accept me no matter what, right? They loved me, right?

I told them during breakfast, wanting to get it over with. Their reactions were exactly what I had feared, but I hadn't expected that it would really happen. My mother, Narcissa Malfoy, dropped her fork, with her mouth gaping open. I would have found it funny, an aristocratic woman like her, gaping almost like a fish, if I wasn't so disappointed; but truthfully, she looked almost scared. My father's expression, on the other hand, was nothing to laugh about. A sharp stab of fear gripped my heart and I couldn't bring myself to look the man in the eyes for longer than a moment. I couldn't believe it; they hated me!

"Get out," were Lucius Malfoy's only words. My mother said nothing, but she hurriedly followed as I ran back to my room.

"Why did you say that, Draco?" she asked, her grey eyes, so like mine, were close to tears.

"Because, it's true." I started to pack a bag, but then realized I had nowhere to go. At least, not for long. Yeah, I had a couple of friends, but couldn't think of any who could or would want to put up with me for who knew how long.

"You know it's not, Draco, so stop lying to me! You aren't gay!" I turned and noticed she was crying. I dropped the shirt in my hand and hugged her, for a moment. I was hurt by Narcissa's words, but I didn't like to see her cry.

"I'm not lying. I am gay." I tried to reason with her. But she shook her head.

"You can't be. I wanted grandchildren, Draco. And your father and I had plans.... The Parkinsons. You just can't-"

"Mother," I cut her off, feeling just as desperate. "I'm not going to marry her. I'm not going to marry anyone."

"No. If not Pansy, then surely some other girl." It seemed that she refused to accept it. "You can't be, but now you've made your father upset. It might be best if you weren't... here for a while. Give me a chance to calm him down. I need to fix things." She was babbling.

I had no idea what my mother was talking about. My father was pissed, but could he really hurt me? I didn't thing he would, by my mother seemed sure, if a little off kilter. My worrying and irritation grew, but I did my best to quell it and kept quiet. She wasn't going to change her mind.

"I've got it!" My mother suddenly exclaimed, "Lucius wouldn't dare look for you at his house. I've got to make a quick call. Be ready in an hour." With that, she wiped her remaining tears. I wanted to throw my suitcase across the room. I didn't, but really really wanted to. Never mind that I had been planning to run away only a few moments before.

As expected, there was a limo waiting for me, when the time came; I wasn't surprised that I was still given the best. For proprieties sake, if nothing else. I had no idea where it would take me, but I entered anyway.

The drive took a couple of hours, long enough for me to stretch out on the seat and take a nap.

The house was small, that was the first thing I noticed. The next being the dour man standing in the doorway. I couldn't help my apprehension, as I was already tense and anxious. I could tell that this would be hell; he looked like he hated me.

But the man walked to trunk of the car, calling me to help him with my bags.

We took everything up to my room in silence, until he told me some things would have to go in the attic. He was right. The room had a bed, desk a bookcase and wardrobe, there was no closet.

Afterwords, he left me to put everything away, telling me to get him when I was ready to go up to the attic. Under no circumstances was I to yell down the stairs and to at least act like I was civilized.

I still didn't know who he was or his name. Later I finally got up the courage to ask: "who are you", not wanting to keep thinking of him as "he".

The man hesitated at first, clearly uncomfortable, before stating he was my godfather, Severus Snape. Then, he went to his room and I didn't see him for the rest of the night. That was the first time I had ever eaten left-overs.

So, I wasn't exactly welcomed with open arms by the man who I finally knew as my godfather. But he didn't tell me to get out, either.

But I still didn't understand why I was here.

Which led he back to my current situation. My first day at Hogwarts school. What a stupid name...

I hat-

The door finally opened and an old man entered the office. Something told me it would be an old man.... Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, as it said on his nameplate, asked me to take a seat while I took my behind the desk.

"Mr. Malfoy! It is good to see you." I nod a greeting. "I have heard about your unfortunate predicament."

I resisted snorting.

"As you know, your godfather, Professor Snape, has talked to me and fortunately we do have an opening at our school. Your godfather has already given me all of your information and, as you know, you are starting today. You are probably wondering why I have asked you here today, this early, if all of this already taken care of, aren't you?" The old man's blue eyes were shining into mine as he asked, smiling.

"No." Dumbledore seemed to be waiting for me to say something else, but I found it easy to resist.

"Alright then. I had wanted to talk to you, to acclimate you to the school, but it seems that won't be the case. I now assume you, Mr. Malfoy, are not interested."

I nodded.

"Very well, I will not keep you. Here is your schedule and a map. I trust you will be able to find your way?"

"Yes, thank you." I managed to add the last part. It pays to be polite at times.

"I have decided to place you in your godfather's homeroom. The students are a little younger than you, but only by a year or so. I thought this might be best for you, since you haven't been here as long as most of the other students. You'll have a familiar face. Have a nice day."

I took this as my cue to leave.

* * *

"Take a seat anywhere." Severus didn't look up as I entered the classroom, so I just did as asked.

It had been a couple of weeks ago since I had moved in, but he hadn't changed a bit. I suppose he wasn't a bad sort. Just not exactly friendly. He did take me in after the 'unfortunate' incident with my parents. Unfortunately, that meant changing schools. My godfather couldn't afford to keep me in my other one and it was to far to commute. I briefly wondered what my friends would think if they could see me now, in a state school....

I sat in the back, where I could watch who I was going to have to put up with for the next year. Luckily this would be my last, and only, year. They trickled in bit by bit. It wasn't nine yet, so they were still taking their time. They're a boring lot as far as I can tell. A redhead and his frizzy-haired girlfriend caught my attention, as did a delectable dark brunet, but they didn't hold my interest. That's when I saw the oddest thing.

A boy, obviously younger than me, was being walked into the room by another, who had his arms slung over the shorter one's shoulder. The taller being a skinny redhead, slightly taller than me, not by much. But that wasn't what caught my attention; friends are known to hang onto each other. What did grab me was the hand of the redhead on the other's ass, guiding him into the room. The black-haired one grinned somewhat shyly back, tossing a tattered messenger bag off his shoulder, but said nothing and took his seat with the other red-head and his girlfriend, who both frowned in response to something. Guess they didn't like his boyfriend, either that or that he had a boyfriend. People weren't this open at my last school... for good reason. But for the most part no one cared. And I really needed to learn some names or this was going to get confusing.

"Now that the theatrics are over." My godfather appeared mildly annoyed, but pulled out the roll. I learned that the first redhead and his girlfriend were Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger and their friend was Harry Potter. As the announcements were made I forgot about everyone else for the most part, until the bell rang, signaling that it was time to move on to our first classes. I couldn't help but glance at Potter, thinking of the scene before. He's cute I thought, eying him for a moment, but I pushed the thought away.

I wouldn't make the same mistake again.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Updated: 1:46 AM 6/13/2009

* * *

My first encounter with the trio, as I had begun to think of Weasley, Granger, and Potter, was a disaster. There was no other way to look at it.

I was at lunch when they arrived and sat fairly close to where I was. Potter's boyfriend, Louis Blake was also among them. Hanging all over Potter as usual, I huffed in annoyance. My old school would have never allowed such open displays of affection....

"Rich kid got a problem?" Blake smirked.

"No, but I'm about to loose my lunch. You too are so nauseatingly sweet." I sneered slightly, before returning my eyes to my plate. I wasn't really in the mood for anyone to trying starting something.

"No, I don't know. What's so sweet? Is it this." Almost against my will, I did glance back up. While looking at me he gave Potter a surprisingly nice kiss. "No, it can't be that. That shit's boring," he stated right before pretty much attacking the boy's mouth. Potter was obviously enjoying it, although he kept on glancing at me the whole time. Weasley face had a red flush that I knew had nothing to do with lust as he watched them, but neither him or Granger, who was equally uncomfortable, did anything to stop the snogging couple.

Oh shit, I thought, as I felt a stirring of arousal from watching them. I wasn't at full mast, but it was more than I wanted to feel. I quickly looked around, waiting for some teacher to chastise them for inappropriate behavior, or some sort of mob to form, but it never happened.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Blake released his captive.

"Like that?" That slimy smile of Blake's made my stomach crawl.

"No, my father obviously raised me right, unlike the two of you." I muttered, renewing the sneer I had on my face, looking from Blake to Potter, who's jaw was clenched. I knew I was being a hypocrite, but there was no way I was going to admit that I was turned on, not to them. Besides, there was something about Blake that just rubbed me the wrong way. He was scum, I could already tell.

Unfortunately, that was when Weasley decided to enter the conversation. "What's your problem? Harry hasn't done anything to you, and you're insulting him. Why don't you just leave if you don't like it, Malfoy?

"Me leave?" Now I was starting to get pissed. "Weasel - oops - I mean, Weasley, if case you didn't notice, I was here first! I didn't ask you to sit near me and I sure as hell didn't ask any of you to talk to me."

"Well, you're sitting at our table. Isn't that right, Weasel-ey. We had to sit somewhere." Blake spoke up.

"Yeah!" Weasley interjected, glaring at me.

"As far as I can see, neither of you own the table. You should be the one to leave." I didn't even know how I ended up in an argument with him.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Suddenly Weasley's whole face turned red. "Just because we're not all rich like you, doesn't mean you can tell us what to do!"

I had to wonder how he knew.... I'd talked to virtually no one, much less told anyone about my family. Someone had to have been snooping and it pissed me off.

"Ron, calm down!" Granger hissed, as the boy rose from his seat, but she was ignored.

"I think it does, actually." Unfortunately, I had never been very good at holding my temper when insulted, so there was no way I was backing down. "After all, those of us who have money are clearly smarter, better looking, and all around superior. Otherwise, I guess I would be as poor as you." I didn't know what I was talking about at this point, parroting what I've heard from my friends all my life, but it was obvious I had hit a nerve. Literally. A vane was popping on Weasley's forehead.

"He thinks he's better than you." I heard Blake taunting Weasley in the background.

"Why you!" That was all it took for Weasley to take a swing at me. Suddenly there was a blazing pain in my eye and I was picking myself up from the floor. That little bastard! I charged for Weasley, intent on causing him pain. "Fight!", the whole lunch room was chanting, as I swung at his head, connecting with his cheek.

Granger was attempting to hold him back, but she was quickly pushed away, Weasley yelling at her.

I was about to hit him again, now that he was distracted, but I was caught unaware when I felt a pair of arms around my waist, pulling me away. I was about to push the person off, when-

"Everyone cease!" I turned to see my godfather, glaring bloody murder at everyone in the room, who immediately froze. "Who's responsible for this?!"

"He is!" Weasley, who still has Granger attempting to restrain him, points to me.

"Me!? He's the one who started it!" I yelled at my godfather and regretted it the moment his glare turned on me, black eyes digging into mine. He's going to kill me....

"Detention, both of you! Mr. Weasley, you'll be lucky if you aren't suspended for attacking another student after I talk to headmaster Dumbledore."

"But he-" Weasley interjected.

"That's another detention, Mr. Weasley. Don't talk back." Severus growled.

Weasley grumbled to himself, but he didn't say anything aloud this time.

After giving one last glare, my godfather swept out of the lunch room.

That was when I realized I was still being held. I pushed off the arms, telling whoever it was to let go of me. I started to tell them off, when they held on for a moment to long, but then I was released and heard footsteps moving away quickly.

I turned around to see Potter, the boy from earlier, staring back at me, with a small grin on his face. For a moment, both of us just stood there, but then he was suddenly pulled away and I saw that Blake had a gotten a grip on one of Potter arms, who immediately put the other around Blake, now looking away.

"Be seeing you later," Blake muttered, sneering at me before both he and Potter left the room.

Weasley and Granger moved past me soon after, leaving in a different direction, most likely for the infirmary. The red-head's eyes were on me the whole time, glaring, but Granger had a firm grip on him and was steering him out of room.

After a couple minutes, the lunch room was calm again, everyone had gone back to what they had been doing before the fight broke.

I realized that I was still standing there, when the bell ringing, and my throbbing face, signaled the end of lunch. Dumping my tray, I tried to understand what had just happened.

* * *

Things had calmed down after about a week. Weasley, who wasn't suspended, and the rest seemed to forget me after a while, except for the occasional glare, mostly from Weasley. Blake was still... odd. There was no other way to describe him, not to mention Potter. Thankfully, I didn't see them often for the most part. Granger seemed to be ahead of most her year, so we had a couple of classes together, but mostly ignored each other. I never saw Weasley, except for homeroom, and only shared one class with Potter. Louis Blake was a slacker as far, as I could see; his name was called in a couple of my classes, but he only showed up for one.

For the most part I was left alone. I rebuffed most people's attempts at conversation, at first, not in the mood. Then they stopped trying as I became last week's news. Granger tried talking a couple times, initially trying to make excuses for Weasley. Potter tried to talk to me also, but I ignored him; I could have sworn he was flirting with me. Although, I did consider reciprocating from time to time, I always reminded myself Potter was taken.

Then his boyfriend started to run his mouth. Out of nowhere, rumors started flying; people started looking at me odd. I didn't figure out what was going on until a guy told me to blow him; the only thing that kept me from yelling was that a professor was only ten feet away; instead I opted to tell him to go fuck himself and left the room.

I tried to figure out who had started it, guessing it was probably was Blake or Weasley. Out of the few people I had had contact with, they were the ones most likely; I didn't think Granger had it in her and Potter seemed vaguely confused at the turn of events.

I waited to see if I could catch either at it. I looked first to Weasley, as he was one who had been more confrontational, but I could catch him at nothing. He usually deflected any comments about my sexuality, making me feel oddly grateful. Which left Blake.

What I really wanted to know was how he found out. Or maybe he just bluffing. But why would go through the effort to make my life miserable? After all, everyone know about him and Potter, so why bother with me?

* * *

It had been two weeks, since I started at Hogwarts. I was doing about well as could be expected. Severus seemed to approve; I wasn't getting the cold shoulder any more, although I was heavily lectured after he drove me home after that detention. I think that he relieved that I mostly kept to myself.

I hadn't heard from either of my parents, and I didn't call, not wanting to care. As far as I was concerned it never happened.

However, one thing was starting to become a problem. Potter. Even with all that had been going on, I still couldn't get rid of him. I ignored his attempts to talk mostly. Sometimes I considered outright telling him to go away, but I could never make myself do it. Begrudgingly, I liked that he was still trying, even with my silence. Granger had given up already.

But, although I was still keeping my distance, I started to think about him, often. And it wasn't helping that I saw him everyday in English, recking my attention in a class that wasn't my best to begin with. Honestly, I was sure that Professor McGonnagal was out to get me.

She always managed to call on me exactly when I wasn't paying attention; I could swear the old bat had eyes in the back of her head, hiding underneath her bun. Hell, the woman had given an essay test the second week of school and expected me to be prepared?!

And she loved Potter. Which caused me some irritation with him. McGonnagall always greeted him with a smile; I even caught her referring to him as one of her favorite students. I never saw Potter do anything different than the rest of us, if anything he seemed to not care.

Really, what was so great about him? Although, he was attractive, in a scruffy sort of way.

Maybe I was just sexually frustrated?

I had walked to the parking lot to wait on my godfather and I saw him. Them. Potter was being pressed against the side of the building by Blake with one of his legs wrapped around his boyfriend. I felt a wave of annoyance as I watched Blake's hand travel under Potter's shirt. I felt a tinge of arousal from watching the flushed look on his face. My old irritation towards Blake flared as I watched his other hand drop into the front of Potter's pants. I could no longer see Potter's face, he had turned it away from me.

I was shaken from my thoughts when Severus finally came along, yelling at the two, telling them to move on. I saw the disgusted look on my godfather's face as he watched them leave, Blake with his hand on the small of Potter's back.

Did Severus hate gays? Then why did he take me in? Maybe it was just them he hated.

"Get in," my godfather half-ordered and I immediately climbed into the passenger seat.

We didn't talk, although I wondered why he taken then to the headmaster's office. I decided that as strict as he was, Severus probably didn't want to deal with students after school hours.

He stalked upstairs soon after getting in the house leaving me fend for my self, but that wasn't unusual.

The drive was in silence, as usual. I wished that Severus would turn on the radio. I think anything would have been better than his oppresive silence. I still remembered the look he directed at Potter and Blake. Did he resent me? Did my mother call him because no one else would take me?

I felt a headache coming on and resisted pressing my head to the cool glass of the window.

I hate them.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

Update: 4:31 PM 6/28/2009 

* * *

I was sitting in class, as usual; McGonnagal was handing out our latest in-class quiz, an essay, as usual. A pop quiz.

Initially, I panicked, not quite remembering the subject of the assignment, but praying that I did well, or at the very least adequate. Unlike Potter, who had, unfortunately, been sitting in front of me for the test. The boy had given up on the paper after about a half an hour and turned it in. I still didn't get it; McGonnagal had just smiled and taken it. This was the same women who had glared bloody murder at another guy who left around the same time. I half wondered if Potter was sleeping with her, but shuddered and quickly decided no. I couldn't imagine anyone desperate enough to sleep with that old broad just for a passing grade.

Shit! McGonnagal was already on my row. I looked around and saw that Potter had gotten his already. I couldn't tell by his face, but I could only guess that it wasn't very good; he didn't seem too excited. I knew I had to be right as I watched Potter lay his head on the desk and appear to go to sleep. Probably doesn't even care....

I was shaken from my thoughts again when my paper was placed in front of me. I looked up to see McGonnagal frowning disapprovingly before moving on.

What was that about? At first I thought it was that she had caught me drifting again, but then I looked down at the grade.

Damn it! I resist yelling it at the top of my lungs, but I knew my face was flushed red. 'F'!?

I'm not doomed, yet, I reassured myself. It was only a couple of weeks into the term.

Then I saw the note at the top. I had to have my guardian sign it. Oh joy.

So far, my shortcomings in English had been minor enough to have escaped Severus' notice. I was doing reasonably well in all other classes. Not my best, but nothing to cry over. I would just have to work harder. A lot harder....

Potter turned to me, after class, when everyone else was clearing out. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but closed his mouth when I glared at him. I really didn't feel like dealing with him at that moment.

I knew I was being irrational, but suddenly it felt like it was all his fault. If Potter would just leave me alone, although I had never gotten around to telling him off, I wouldn't be in this situation. I didn't care that my thoughts were completely irrational.

Thankfully, Potter seemed to get the hint and quickly left. And I didn't feel the least bit guilty.

I decided to wait until we got home before giving the paper to my godfather. Knowing Severus, he might have made me get out of the car and walk the rest of the way.

He took the paper and snorted his black eyes harsh as usual. "I can only imagine what would cause this sort of tripe. Potter is in that class, is he not?"

I could only nod, not know where he was going with this. Severus seemed more than a bit agitated.

"I'll sign it, but stay away from the boy. I don't want to see this again. Now do I need tell Minerva keep me notified or will you handle this yourself?"

My mind was spinning. Potter again?! "No. I mean, yes, umm, but-" I stammered trying the find the right answer.

"Don't ask questions, just stay away from Potter; I don't care what anyone says, including professors. It's for your own good that you listen to me. And Draco, I really do expect better than this." With that Severus left to fix his evening cup of coffee.

Every day after school, Severus did this. I think it was his way of unwinding.

Although, he disappeared to his room quicker than usual today, almost running.

I considered following him, to try and ask what was wrong, but I knew it was futile.

Instead, I went to go study. And not thinking about Potter. 

* * *

A couple days later, I had a strange run in with Blake in History. It wasn't so much that he said anything; it was just the look.

I walked past him to get to my usual seat in the back and the glare in his dark eyes was decidedly hostile. I was taken aback for a moment, but continued to my seat. It wasn't any of my business if he wanted to be an asshole.

So, I decided to try to ignore it. However, he grabbed me after leaving the classroom, shoving me into the wall. Several students turned to watch, obviously expecting something exciting. However, Blake just hissed, "stay away from him if you know what's good for you. It's all your fault I had to do it." And that was it. But his words definitely had me a little worried.

I thought for a moment to go to Severus, but my godfather had made it clear that he wanted me involved with nothing concerning Potter.

I may have walked a little quicker than usual to English, telling myself that I just wanted to get on McGonnagal's good side, not that I was looking for Potter. He would be there like he always was.... Potter had never been absent a single day so far.

Until today.

Frantically, I looked all around the room, but he really wasn't there.

It's nothing, I thought. So what if he was absent? Why should I care? Potter was probably just playing hooky.

I tried to ignore the feeling of something being wrong for the rest of the day. 

* * *

Later that same day, after school, I saw something that almost frightened me.

It was after classes and I decided to head into the far bathroom, before heading to the parking lot. I wanted to be alone for a few moments. I was still getting propositioned now and again, the last time being only a few moments ago. I had threatened to decapitate the guy and thankfully he took me seriously. But I was beyond tired of the situation. I started to wonder what exactly Blake had been saying....

And I couldn't get my mind off of him and Potter.

So I went to the most secluded building in the school, the bathroom used for PE. The far bathroom sometimes smelled like smoke, one of the reasons I think most people avoided it, not wanting to take the blame. Not to mention it was probably the most decrepit building in the whole school, and I used to term 'building' loosely. It gave me the solitude that I craved, so I used it anyway.

I was immediately hit with the smell of smoke when entered the room. At first I wondered if the building was on fire, but no; I recognized the smell of pot. Some of my friends used to do it, to unwind, as they put it. I remembered that Crabbe and Goyle were almost always high. Fucking idiots, the two of them, not one brain between them. That alone had been enough to convince me to never try it.

Disgusted, I almost turned to leave, but I heard a sniffling sound and out of curiosity decided to move forward.

I turned the corner and was shocked to see Potter on the other side. Potter the pot-head, but I didn't really feel the urge to laugh. The boy was huddled in a corner with his eyes close and a joint fitted between his lips. That wasn't the part that scared me; it was the tears and a busted lip. I was about to ask what was wrong, but then I stopped before the words reached my mouth. You don't care, remember! I admonished myself. It wasn't my fault his boyfriend was an asshole, if he was even responsible. But I didn't leave.

Instead I just watched him for a while, not really wanting to stay, not really wanting to leave.

Potter never did notice me standing there; he was too far gone and probably didn't even hear me come in.

I finally backed out slowly, wondering if I should do anything, get a professor or something. It would serve him right, getting caught, but I didn't do it. Let Potter deal with it himself. But, I still couldn't escape the guilt this time.

Severus looked at me oddly when I got to car and I realized the smell had attached itself to my clothing, even in that short time. "It's not me. It was a bathroom. I-" I started to tell him about Potter, but my throat choked closed and I could hardly breathe.

"Save it," and he got into the driver's seat. I couldn't tell if he was angry or not, so I didn't continue to try to explain.

I stood there for a minute, lost in thought. I was quickly shaken out of it, when the engine started and I quickly got in.

Potter.... What the hell happened to you? 

* * *

"...alfoy? Mr. Malfoy? Are you even listening?"

"What?" I was in English again and as usual, I wasn't really paying attention.

"'What', Mr. Malfoy?" Professor McGonnagal glared down at me over her glasses. "Are you going to turn in your assignment or not?"

What assignment?! "Assignment?" I could practically feel the blood rush from my face. Shit!

"Yes, your paper, it's time to turn it in."

I didn't even remember what the paper was supposed to be about, much less had I written it!

"You don't have it, do you, Mr. Malfoy." She wasn't even asking at this point. She knew I didn't have it.

"I will have a talk with your guardian. If you continue like this, you are going to fail this class." I could hear some of the other students sniggering and I felt my face flush. Couldn't she have told me that after class?

McGonnagal continued to take up papers and I avoided the laughing eyes of the others in the room. I decided to look out the window, a safe place but then I noticed that Potter was sitting under it today, the pot-head.

By accident, I managed to catch his eyes.

It had been a couple of days since that. I still didn't think that Potter knew I was there, but I couldn't be sure. In the days after that, a large bruise had formed on his jaw, probably from the same blow that had busted his lip. He had been less talkative since, at least to me. It was better that he kept away.

I wondered a little at his drug use, but decided it was minor. There were never any signs that he was high while at school, so I figured he at least had the sense to wait.

Today Potter's eyes were clear and lucid. I had never noticed that the were green, a deep color close to emerald. Then I realized that he was smiling at me. Not a large smile, a small shy one, but I could still see it.

Hurriedly, I looked away. 

* * *

I found myself waking from what was possibly one of the best dreams I've had in a while. Hands were stroking me, all over. My hand on each side of his hips, mesmerized by the soft skin. I felt a tongue travel its way up my chest until it found my nipple. I felt more than heard myself moan as I arched upward, clutching him closer at the same time. As the head began to pull away I released him, only to attempt to draw it close again, but then my arms were restrained. I was suddenly pissed that I couldn't touch him anymore, but it didn't last long.

I could tell that he was lighter than me when suddenly he straddled my lap and thrust his tongue into my mouth. Yes.... I wasn't angry anymore. I was no longer quiet at this point. "Yes," I groaned and he laughed in response. I began to say it over and over again as I felt one of his hands, surprisingly gentle, stroke me until I was as hard I could possibly get, it was almost painful. I felt like I was about to burst when he positioned me at his entrance, teasing at first, then I was in....

And my alarm went off. 

* * *

If Severus could tell I was any grouchier than usual that morning, he didn't comment. I could practically imagine a storm cloud hanging over my head, but my day continued as usual.

Algebra and Ancient History, two subjects I normally enjoy -despite Blake- did nothing to improve my mood.

I was exceedingly thankful that I had no actual classes with my godfather. I was starting to get more comfortable with Severus, but not friendly enough to want to be stuck with him for over an hour. I had heard that he was the hardest professor the have, with McGonnagal being a close second.

That combination would have been hell.

I got to English late; the only seat was in front of Potter. Great.

Severus had been more on my case recently. After the talk with McGonnagal and the bathroom incident -which I never told him the truth about, he had become increasingly difficult to live with. And more insistent that I should stay away from Potter. After berating me for my poor performance.

I could only guess that he thought Potter would be a bad influence. I didn't really understand it, but it started to seem like the man was obsessed. Besides, I didn't see how I could stay any farther away from Potter when I only saw him one hour out of the day and I rarely even acknowledged him. Did he expect me to skip? I didn't make sense.

But today, I would be forced to sit right in front of him. I felt my mood worsen as I walked into the room.

I realized I was glaring at him the whole time for no reason when I saw a flush on Potter's cheeks and his eyes dropped to his lap. Disgruntled with myself, I took the seat, determined to not look at him again.

His lip had healed nicely; the skin was smooth and pink, nice.

Finally, the bell rang.

Frustrated, I noticed that -once again- I have no idea what the professor had been saying for the past hour; my mind had wondered the whole time, only this time it had occasionally been on my parents and why I was there. This really was an awful day.

I got up to leave when the class got out and McGonnagall went to take her break, but then there was a hand on my arm causing me to stop walking.

I looked down at the offending limb, then up to the face attached to it. It was Potter. It seemed I couldn't escape him this time.

"What is it?" I realized my voice was just as clipped as Severus'; maybe he was rubbing off on me. It might have just been my mood. I almost felt guilty for taking it out on him but he was the main reason for my frustration, whether directly or indirectly.

"Umm...." Potter trailed of, staring at his feet, his face slightly pale.

"Out with it. I don't have all day." I do manage to resist the urge to sneer but it didn't seem to help Potter any.

"I-I noticed you might need help." This time he looked me in the eye, but his new found confidence didn't last long. It almost annoys me but truthfully, his bashfulness was kind of cute, in a kicked puppy sort of way. Not that I would ever....

"Why would you think that?" I couldn't help the sharpness in my voice this time, I was far too irritated.

Potter shrugged, "I've noticed" and didn't give any further explanation.

"Well maybe you should mind your own business, Potter, and stay out of mine." And I started to walk out again, I had to get to my next class but again I was stopped. "I don't need your help!" I glared at as I turned back to him.

Then his hand moves to my chest and I'm frozen. What was he doing?!

"Potter, leave me alone!" And I slapped the hand off, causing him to wince.

He just stands there for a moment, holding the afflicted appendage close to his body, looking utterly dejected.

"I just wanted to help." His expression hardened and he bent to pick up his bag, not looking at me.

I knew I was making a mistake the moment my mouth opened but I knew I couldn't let him just leave like that, "Potter."

"What?" His voice was sharp but his eyes met mine again.

"When?" I asked him, knowing he would understand what I meant.

"Maybe tomorrow." Potter answered after hesitating for a moment.

That was a bit soon, but deciding that maybe sooner was better than later, I nodded.

Potter hesitated, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper, wrote on it and then handed it to me. It was his number.

He looked at me for a moment when suddenly, I hear someone clearing their throat, causing both Potter and me to jump. I turned and saw McGonnagal was back. And she wasn't happy.

"Detention boys, you are both supposed to be in class now." And indeed, she did write us both detention slips for that afternoon.

This day couldn't get any worse.


	4. Chapter 4

Updated: 12/24/2009 

* * *

Of coarse, Severus was pissed when he tracked me down to the detention hall at the end of the day, and with Potter no less. I didn't tell him what that Potter had offered to tutor me. Maybe it would help me stop thinking about him, once I confirmed that he was an idiot like I was certain he was was, that there was no reason for me to be the slightest bit interested.

Then I noticed Severus was glaring bloody murder at Potter, so I decided it was time to leave.

What had caused Severus' hatred towards him?

I actually did ask that night, along with the other question that had been nibbling at my conscious. Surprisingly, he had made dinner that night. It was the first time my god-father didn't go immediately to his room after getting his coffee fix.

Truthfully, I barely saw Severus, except for him driving me and homeroom in the morning.

"Sir?" I interrupted the silence.

"Yes?" His black eyes stayed on the road.

"Why did my mother call you? Before I came here." There, I finally asked it! I still wasn't talking to either of my parents, so... that left him. But he wasn't answering.

At least not for a minute.

"I do not know." He glanced at me for a moment before directing his eyes forward again.

"Oh." I didn't know what to say after that, so I just sat there for a moment. "I'm thinking of getting a tutor. For English. You know I've been having... problems in that class. I saw a flier advertising English tutoring at school." Again, I was lying to him and hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Who it it?" Severus replied.

Damn, I think. "Umm.... I forgot his name. But I did grab the number." Lie.

He's quiet for a moment. "It's not Potter, is it?"

"No." Lie.

"Does he work with the school? I don't want you getting help from someone who doesn't know his head from his ass."

I was mildly surprised by his swearing, but wisely choose to not comment. "I don't think so, but I asked around and people said he was good." I actually did ask around. I half expected that Potter had lied when he said he could help. He just didn't seem like the 'brainy' type. I knew I was stereotyping him, but it was true. Unfortunately, the few people who I had made an acquaintance with had said that Potter was 'good'. They actually encouraged me to call him. I decided to ignore the odd feeling I was starting to get.

So I decided to take him up on the offer. And maybe if I got to know Potter better I would stop thinking about him. At least, hopefully it would help my pass McGonnagal's class and not be complete waste of time and money.

"Very well, I'll give you money for this tutor. Consider any extra to be your allowance for the month."

I was surprised; this was the closest he had ever come to being nice. My guilt for lying increased, but I just uttered a thank you. The rest of the ride was in silence. The day was looking up. 

* * *

I didn't call Potter immediately. I still wasn't sure if I should. I could do fine without Potter! I could just get someone else, or ask Severus. He was a teacher after all.

Potter seemed disappointed when I didn't call him.

Yes, I was still watching him. And Blake.

After a while, I started to notice that Blake was highly possessive. Weasley, who I was still mildly annoyed with /I can't believe he hit me!/, and Granger knew. I realized that was why they stuck so close to Harry. Granger hated Blake, it shown clearly, Weasley as well. There was constant tension between the two couples.

Potter seemed to like Blake's almost abrasive hold on him, or at least he seemed to just let his boyfriend do what he wanted without to much complaint so it couldn't have been to bad.

Eventually, I started to piece things together. I thought about Potter's split lip and the pot. Not to mention, the crying.

But, what proof did I really have that Blake....

I was paying entirely too much attention to him, all of them.... I had my own problems to think about.

Like, what was I going to do after school; this was my senior year and I did not expect to still be living with Severus after I graduate. If I graduated on time.... I really need to pass that English class. Then there was still my parents.

I was sitting at the house, wondering if I should call them, but then I stopped before I could pick up the phone as a fresh wave of anger struck. They were the ones who could not accept me. I would not be the one call first!

I refused to call them. I kept this thought in my head as I went make myself dinner. I needed to get Severus to go to the grocery store.... 

* * *

I just got another paper back, not a major one, though. It was a D. Potter glanced at me from across the room, before glancing at his own before staring off into space. He knew.

/I will not fail! I will not fail!/ I repeated in my head. I knew I was getting obsessive at this point.

But it would mean I would be missing out on another class I could take. Or go to summer school.... Maybe I should just get over myself and and call Potter.

Dammit. He has that kicked puppy look again. I noticed that his gaze suddenly shifted to the door and I saw Blake standing there. But he isn't looking at Potter. It was me. I almost ask him what my problem was this time, but Potter got up to leave and Blake went with him. 

* * *

I had been staring at the phone for hours. My head was wrought with indecision.

Finally Severus walked past and barked at me to stop staring at the phone. He'd gotten fed up with my grades, especially after I told him I would get help, then didn't.

The call went about as well as expected. That is, awkward and uncomfortable, but he agreed to see me the next day. Potter said that we would go to his place after school, which struck me as odd, but I agreed anyway and hung up on him before I could say anything embarrassing.

I told Severus that I would be meeting 'the guy' in the library and he handed me the money, looking me right in the eyes as he was trying to read my mind.

His jaw was clinched as he stared at me, seemingly frozen, but then I realized, he was looking through me.


	5. Chapter 5

Updated: 1/6/2010

hr

I'd been waiting in the parking lot for twenty minutes; Severus had long since left.

A couple of guys glanced at me on the way to their cars, smirking. I felt a sneer come to my face, but it disappeared quickly. I could see Potter coming, waving goodbye to Weasley and Granger. They did *not* look happy.

"Where's your car?" He asked me, somewhat bluntly, after only taking a moment to search me out.

"I don't have one. I thought you did." Potter's green eyes looked at me with genuine surprised. He looked dazed.

"No, my godfather, Professor Snape, drives me." I was a little embarrassed to admit it.

"It's ok. We can walk." He went ahead and for the first time I got a good look at him, even if it's only from the back. Actually, that may not be too bad.... Although, judging by his clothes I wondered what type of home he had.

"Are you coming or are you going to keep staring at my ass" Potter had stopped walking. He wasn't looking at me, but I can still see that he looked a little pale.

"I wasn't staring at you, Potter. You must be seeing things." But I had been staring. He has a boyfriend, I tried to remind myself. I moved to catch up with him. "How far, exactly, are we walking?"

"Not too far, if we hurry."

I was having second thoughts (third was more like it). Maybe I should never have agreed to this, but I was walking anyway.

The time was passed mostly in silence, but Potter stayed by my side the whole time. He was so close his arm occasionally touch mine, causing my breath to catch. Startled, I turned to glare, but he eyes were glued to the sidewalk. /...won't even look at me now.../. And he smelled like smoke. But he wasn't completely out of it, like before, just quiet.

"Are you always getting high or is it just an afternoon thing?" The question is out of my mouth before I can stop it.

Potter froze for a moment, his eyes meeting mine. "Just sometimes." he didn't elaborate and I didn't ask him to.

"We're here." He spoke up after a few more minutes went by.

I look up and realize I have walked into the bad part of town. "Are you kidding me?" I said, maybe a little too indignant. Did he get us lost? I looked up at the decrepit building with bars on broken windows and mentally shuddered. Compared to this, Severus' small house was a palace.

"No, I live here." I saw the tense look at his face and instantly regretted my words. I started to apologize, but Potter didn't give me the chance to, already pulling out his keys as we walk up to the apartment building.

We walk inside and it isn't much better. The walls are stained with who knew what and has holes punched in them. A rat scurried away from us and ran through an open door. I pitied the person who left their door open in this place.

I heard Potter curse quietly beside me. Oh....

"Not again." I looked to see his eyes welling, but quickly he rubbed them before any tears fell.

"Um... We can do this some other time." I suggest, not really knowing what to say.

"No that's okay," Potter spoke, letting his hand drop down his side.

"I'm sure whoever it was will be caught." I said awkwardly, not believing the words myself. I knew Potter didn't either, but he did give a slight smile. I ignored the feeling in my stomach that followed.

I wondered what his parents were going to do, now that they'd been robbed. I realized the truth when I saw the bareness of the one-room apartment, which contained a small kitchen area, a mattress, and a make-shift room divider was shoved into a corner which I guessed held a toilet inside. There was nothing else, not even a bathtub, aside from some clothes and books piled into a corner. He was likely the only one living there.

Why did Potter bring me here? If I lived in a place like this there would be no way I would show it to anyone. The inside looked just as bad as the outside; the walls were badly patched and it had a damp smell, but luckily there was no sign of that rat. But how could he live here on his own? He was only sixteen, maybe seventeen, as far as I knew. But then I thought about it, in a place like this they probably didn't care how old you were as long as you paid the rent. How did he afford this? Tutoring couldn't be making him enough money, even if this was a shit-hole....

"You can leave if you want. I would understand." Damn. He had seen my scrutinizing once-over of the... place. He must have thought I was disgusted and on some level, I was.

"No. Let's get started." I pulled my notebook out, ignoring Potter's mild look of surprise. I could do this. 

* * *

Things continued like this for the next couple of weeks. I noticed that Potter had started to ignore me during the day, although he had never exactly been vocal. Blake ignored me as well, taking after his boyfriend.

We would meet twice a week. While sitting on the mattress, Potter would ask me to write something, sometimes it was a topic of his choosing, sometimes mine. After, he would read it then comment. He said my largest problem was staying on topic.

Potter would still look at me from time to time, as if trying to read me and not quite understanding. Often, he also caught me staring at him.

Nevertheless, I did actually start to get better grades. I think it was because I was starting to get used to Potter's presence. I was still aware of him, I tried not to be, but I could settle for him only being in the back of my mind.

Potter was reading one of my papers as the moment, holding his pen haphazardly between his lips, while his eyes perused over the words, occasionally using it to point things out to me.

"You know, you really aren't the worst I've seen." Potter handed me the paper, looking at me.

"Well thank you. It's always good to know you aren't the worst." I muttered, while putting it in my bag.

"I wasn't trying to insult you." I looked up to see Potter frowning slightly.

"I know." I smiled tightly. It wasn't his fault I was in a bad mood, but it couldn't be helped.

I was starting to get ready to leave when Potter offered me something to drink.

"Water is all I have, is that alright?" Potter glanced at me as he got a couple of glasses from under the sink. I spotted several bottles of beer behind them.

"Yeah" I said after a moment of hesitation, putting my bag back down. Quickly, Potter returned, both glasses full of (thankfully, clear) water.

"Thanks." I said, accepting it.

Potter nodded, sipping from his own glass. Absentmindedly, he reached into his pocket pulling out a cigarette.

"What, No pot?" I asked him, although it wasn't entirely spiteful.

"No. That's better for stress relief. Tutoring you is actually easy." He smiles slightly, smoke swirling around his face. I hated the smell.

"Are you saying I'm easy?" I pretend to be offended.

"No. You certainly aren't easy, Malfoy." He looks away. "You're not really straight, are you?" Potter suddenly asks.

I pause for a moment and consider lying to him, but would it really matter whether he knew or not. Either way, Potter had a boyfriend. "How could you tell?"

"You don't hide it too well." Potter gives me a look that says he never believed that I was straight.

"Well I wasn't the one caught making out with his boyfriend by a teacher." I reply sardonically.

"Yeah, there is that." And then Potter went silent for a while. "When was the last time you....?" He asked, looking me in the eyes.

"It's been a while." I answered, mildly irritated, wondering why he was asking. I knew it was typical guy talk, but it felt a bit intrusive as I still barely knew him.

Potter smiles grimly to himself. "Would you like too?" He leans into me, putting a hand on my cheek, as if about to kiss me.

I froze the moment he touched me. He took my silence as a yes and leaned in, causing my heart to pound. However, the moment his lips touched mine I knew I couldn't do it.

Abruptly, I stood up, accidentally pushing him away at the same time.

"I have to go." I said and I ran out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Updated: 1/6/2010 

* * *

I avoided Potter for the next couple days. Luckily our 'incident' happened on a Friday, so it wasn't too hard until Monday came around. He tried to talk to me a couple times in homeroom that morning, but I ignored him. I could feel my face flushing every time he came near. It really had been a while....

Potter only came near me when his boyfriend wasn't around. I had half a mind to tell Blake what his lover was doing, just to spite him; I was pissed. Mostly because I had wanted to take Potter up on his offer. But I wouldn't. I couldn't. I wasn't going to get involved in his mess.

I thought I was finally free of Potter when I headed for my god-father's office, to tell him I needed a ride. I can't wait until I get a license....

But I was wrong.

I got just outside Severus' door when I spotted Potter hurrying towards me out of the corner of my eye. No! My god-father couldn't see him talking to me! But I couldn't leave without talking to him or I would be stuck walking.

"What is it, Potter?" I hissed quietly at him after he reached me, checking the door the whole time. Potter was also looking around.

"Hermione, Ron, and me are getting some pizza. Do you want to come?" Potter asks, smiling slightly at me.

What had him in a good mood?

"Can't." I replied, shortly. I didn't know what he was up to, but I wasn't falling for it.

"Please come. Nothing will happen. I promise, its just pizza. And Hermione can drop you off afterwards." He tried to reason with me. "Do you have anything else to do?"

Potter knew as well as I did that my social life was next to zero at the moment. Did I want to get out of the house? Desperately. Besides, Snape would think I was at tutoring.

"Look, I don't trust you Potter. I don't even know if I like you. What makes you think I want to go anywhere with you?"

He did look regretful for a moment, but only a moment. "I just want to eat pizza. I just want to be friends." He wasn't being completely truthful, I could tell. "What's the worst that could happen. You've already refused me, Draco." I bristled a bit at his use of my name, but his words had already crept into my head. What was the worst that could happen? If he propositioned me again I would just turn him down again.

"Fine. Are you leaving now?"

"Yeah, come on. They're waiting." With that, he surprised me by grabbing my hand, pulling me along.

His hands were soft.

Sure enough, Weasley and Granger were waiting in her car. Weasley didn't look to happy to see me, but didn't complain. I was next to Potter in the back seat.

The place wasn't crowded when we got there; it was nice out so Granger suggested sitting outside.

For the most part the couple talked between themselves or Harry. I felt like an outsider, intruding on a private conversation. So I ate, ignoring them as well. How the hell did I think this would be a good idea?

I ate another bite, while seeing Harry slip a hand into one of his pockets, pulling out his pack of cigarettes.

"Harry. You know I hate it when you smoke." Granger replied, grimacing slightly.

Potter just shrugged, lighting it anyway. "It's only a cigarette, Herm." Neither Weasley or Granger said anything more, so I could only guess it was an old argument.

"You know, Harry. Hermione's sleeping over tonight. My parents invited her. You could come, too. You know mum would love to have you over. It's been awhile since she or dad have seen you."

Potter's mood, which had already been declining since we got there, seemed to plummet. "I can't. I have something to do tonight."

"No you don't Harry." Weasley's voice rose. "You don't have to do anything. You could come over my house, or Hermione's and you know it!"

"No I can't. You know why." Potter took another drag of the cigarette, not looking at his friend.

"Yes, we know why and we want it to end, Harry!" Granger reentered the conversation, equally incensed as her partner.

"You would rather.... do this, than let us help you." Weasley replied, glaring at his friend.

I just watched, they all seemed to have forgotten I was there. What was Potter doing?

Potter was silent. This seemed to be the last straw, as Granger dug through her purse, tossing out enough cash for all before storming towards the parking lot, Weasley only second behind her.

Which left me and an agitated Potter. I looked over at him, in the seat beside mine with his head bowed and hands on his head. "Are you leaving too?" He asked me quietly.

"Not yet. Besides, I just lost my ride."

Potter grimaced slightly. "Oh, Sorry."

"Does this happen often." I don't know why I was asking, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Occasionally. But at least I have company this time." And Potter smiled at me again.

We sat there for a while in comfortable silence, making comments here and there, until his cigarette ran out.

Potter seemed slightly uncomfortable when the bill came; there was money left over, even with the tip. I watched Harry's jaw clench tight as he pocketed the rest.

"Are you still coming over Wednesday, to work on the research paper?" he asked me.

We had already finished the paper. "Yes." I should have said no and I knew it.

I tensed when his come towards me, but his lips only touched cheek. "Thank you." I didn't know he was thanking me for.

This time it was Potter who left. 

* * *

The next day I was roughly jerked aside. Rage hit me as I thought it was Blake, but no, it was Weasley.

"What the hell do you want?" I growled slight. It seemed I was well on my way to making another enemy, judging from what was starting to be habit between us.

"What do you want with Harry?!" Wealsey nearly yelled in my face.

"What are you on about? He's a tutor, so he must be tutoring me, I think. What else would I want?" I asked pushing him off of me.

"Harry's been a bit more interested in you than the usual guy. I can imagine what's been happening. I'm not stupid!" Weasley's face seemed to turn even more red. "But I'm giving you the chance to explain yourself."

"As I said, he's tutoring me," I glared at him.

"Just tutoring? You're not trying anything else."

"If you this homophobic, you should be yelling at his boyfriend. He's the one Potter's fucking, not me." I started to walk away, but Weasley jerked me back again, causing my irritation to increase. "What is your problem, Weasel?" I felt a bit of satisfaction when I saw his teeth clinch.

"So you weren't with Harry last night? Nothing happened?" Weasley backed off, running a hand through my fiery hair.

"Yes." I answered. Still pissed, but more curious than I should have been I asked, "Not that it means anything to me, but what's going on?"

He was quiet for a moment, deciding whether to answer or not. "Harry didn't come to school today. He always comes."

"Did you try calling?"

Weasley shook his head. "I don't have a phone."

I rolled my eyes. It figured. I hesitated for a moment, but, cursing myself, I took out mine. Severus said to only use it in emergencies, he couldn't afford a large bill. But I guess this was as close to an emergency as I was going to get.

Weasley dialed, but I could tell it was a busy signal. "Damn!" He half yelled.

Quickly he handed me my phone and ran off.

Maybe I should go check.... But I brush the thought away. Potter was alright and even if he wasn't...

Unfortunately, my resolve didn't last long.

I told my godfather I wanted to use the library, a blatant lie and he probably knew it, but Severus let me go anyway. I was staring to get uncomfortable about lying to him.

The neighborhood is just as dismal as ever, making me glad I was never around at night. Surely it got worse. I walked as quickly as possible as I could to reach him building. I knew Severus would kill me if he knew where I was.

I wondered what I'd find as I stood in front of his door. Was he to high to make it to school? But I had to agree with Weasley; Potter had been at school every day until today. Could it be something else? Before I could loose my nerve, I knocked loudly.

I heard nothing inside. Should I test the knob? I did and the door opened. His stupid door was never locked.

It was dark inside, there are sheets thrown over the barred windows.

"Potter! Are you here?"

"Malfoy?" That didn't sound like him; I turn and see Blake instead. What- "What are you doing here?" He questioned me, coming out of the kitchen area with a half-empty bottle of beer in one hand. That's when I really got a good look at him. I never realized how tall the red-head was; Blake towered over me by several inches. My heart sped up as he came closer, until I could smell his cologne. What's the deal with this guy?

"Potter's tutoring me."

"Tutoring you? He's said nothing about it to me." His black eyes glare down into mine. There was something about how he said 'tutoring'....

"Well, I was failing and he offered." I was doing well enough not need need a tutor anymore, but I decided not to tell him that. I made myself stand still; I would not back away from him, even if my heart felt like it was about to come out of my chest.

"Yeah?" He took another drink from the bottle and backed off. "I'm going to have another talk with him about this."

"Where is Potter anyway?" I ask, although I'm considering walking right back out that door. I didn't want to deal with Potter's psycho boyfriend.

"Out. And no, he's not going to be back any time soon. So get out."

With that I decided I really didn't want to get into anything with this guy, Potter wasn't worth it. "Yeah. No problem."

I felt like a coward for running away.

When I got home I was surprised to see Severus cooking dinner again. That didn't surprise me nearly as much as the next thing he said.

"You're mother called."


	7. Chapter 7

Updated: 1/11/2010

* * *

"Hello?" I heard my mother's hesitant voice on the other end. I felt nothing.

"Mother."

"I called you days ago, Draco. Where were you?" Her voice rose slightly towards the end.

"You have no right to ask where I was, mother. You gave that up when you sent me away!"

"Draco, you know why I had to-" I quickly cut her off before she could finish the excuse.

"Father would never hurt me, and you know it!" I hissed into the phone before I could stop myself.

"Do not take that tone with me Draco; I am still your mother!" She paused for a moment. "However, I admit I may have overreacted. Draco, it's time to come home."

I was dumbstruck for a moment. Come home?

Without thinking I hung up the phone.

'It's time to come home'

I wasn't sure I wanted to.

"Severus!"

"You bellowed." I looked up and saw him leaning in the doorway, a spatula still in hand. He looked slightly irritated, as usual, but I didn't care.

"My mother called me days ago." My jaw is clinched so tightly it's hard to get the words out. "You just now told me today?"

"Your point?"

"You lied to me, that's my point!"

My god-father's eyebrows rose for a moment.

"I bent the truth. Isn't that what you've been doing with me, Draco?" Severus said, simply. "Besides, it seemed you needed time."

"But-" But it was true. I just stared as Severus left me alone in the room once more. He didn't have to say anything; I knew what this meant. He knew about Potter. 

* * *

Potter was back the next day, with a limp in his walk and a dazed expression in his look. Suddenly, all of my anger was directed at the boy and I followed him after class was over.

"Potter!" I half-yell, grabbing his arm at the same time. I ignored the spooked look that crossed his face in favor of yanking him into the nearest empty hallway. Never mind that I only had a short amount of time to get to get to my next class.

"What?" Potter tried to sound pissed, but his eyes said something different. He was afraid, I felt some of my own anger evaporate. Some.

"Where were you yesterday?" My voice sounded more like a growl when I said it.

"I wasn't feeling well, so I stayed home." He avoided looking me in the face when he said it, shrugging.

"No you weren't. I went there after school. You had Weasley all worried." As I started to calm down further, I had to admit I was starting to get slightly worried myself. Slightly.

"You dropped by? Why? I didn't ask you to. Was it the money?" Potter started to shake, still not looking at me.

We were silent for a moment and Potter's attention seemed to drift.

I had no idea what he was talking about. Money? I paid him once a week; I knew I owed Potter nothing. "What are you talking about Potter?" But didn't notice I said anything. "Hey Pot-head, pay attention! What's with you, you're never high this early." I shook my hand in front of his face and he seemed to snap out of it, for the moment.

Potter's eyes met mine and he took a few steps back, until his he was flush against the emergency door. "You paid me for nothing, is that it?"

What the hell was he talking about?! "Potter?" If anything, I was more confused than before. I took a couple of steps forward, but Potter started to visibly panic.

"You aren't any different from the rest of them, are you?" He started to take step back again, but the door kept him from moving, his green eyes slightly crazed. "Then you can fuck off and leave me alone." With that, Potter forced his way out the emergency exit, setting off the alarm off as he fled the building.

I stood there for a few more moments before the current situation caught up to me. All the classrooms were evacuating. I was standing in an empty hallway, I was supposed to be in class, and it would appear to anyone coming that I'd opened the now open fire exit. In other words, I was in deep shit. 

* * *

"-expect better of our students, Mr. Malfoy. I hope you understand that." Dumbledore had been reading me the riot act for the past half-hour. I hadn't said anything, but really there wasn't really anything I could say. They had found no one else there, but me, who could have set off the alarm. I hate you Potter, I really do.

"You are suspended for the next week. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Dumbledore stared into my eyes, as if to find any chance of remorse.

"No." I could have told him about Potter, but, for some reason, I didn't.

"Then I'm honestly disappointed in you. I've also heard that you were having some trouble in one your classes. Although, there has been some improvement and I understand that you have been through a calamity, recently, perhaps you can use this time to study and think about your education." Ah, it had come back to bite me on the ass. I felt a grin come to my face, but it wasn't exactly a nice one.

Dumbledore, thankfully didn't notice. "You are to wait in Professor Snape's classroom until closing. You are dismissed Mr. Malfoy."

Fat chance of that, I ignored him and headed out the front door. I heard someone call after me, probably one of the professors, but I just keep walking.

I'd had enough. 

* * *

I didn't go straight to Severus' house after leaving. I didn't actually go anywhere.

I just walked not thinking or seeing until I ended up in a park. Not knowing what else to do, I sat on one of the benches and watched the kids play.

So for the next couple of hours that was what I did, I sat. I didn't think about Potter, my mother, my father, not about Severus.

At least, I tried not to.

However, I realized I did eventually have to go home; but which one? 

* * *

I was laying on the couch, reading a book, when Severus got home. I hoped that he would just come in and have his afternoon coffee like he normally did, but today that wasn't the case. I froze in fear when he grabbed the book from my hands, and hurled it onto the nearest chair. I had never seen him loose control like this.

"Stand up!" I hesitated, this reaction was entirely unexpected. I had knew Severus would be mad, but this? "Now!" he barked; his black eyes glaring with rage into mine. I immediately did as he commanded this time.

"Do you have any idea in that pea-sized brain of yours how stupid that was? You could have been expelled for directly disobeying a professor like that, much less the headmaster. You're lucky he's only increased your suspension. Try catching up with your work after two weeks Draco!" Severus' ordinarily pale skin was almost red. He had no reason to be this upset, I wasn't even his son!

"It wasn't even my fault. Potter was-" I started, but Severus motioned for me to be quiet.

"And you continue to disobey me when it comes to that boy! What do I have to do to get you to stay away from him? I am trying to be fair! Just tell me what I have to do, since you refuse to listen to my advice." Severus' voice dropped in volume as he asked this, his eyes staring into mine. "What do I have to do to make you stay away from him?" Severus' eyes were almost tender and I found myself relaxing, somewhat.

"Why?" I asked my god-father. "Why should I stay away from him? He's just a boy like any other. What makes him special?"

He takes a step away from me, closing my eyes. "You want a reason, do you? He's a slut. Simple as th-" My hand stung after it suddenly swung out, slapping him in the face and forcing him to take a step back. Severus looked at me, stunned, for a moment and I was afraid he'd retaliate. "Draco, you are truly an idiot if you've started to fall for him." I tensed as he straightened his back, but instead of advancing, he sat on the couch where I had been laying and motioned for me to do the same.

"Draco, the only reason I let you get away with that is because you are Lucius' son. Now you will listen." He glared at me, as if daring me to contradict him again. "He is a slut. Harry Potter has had sex with numerous boys like you and more." I clinched my jaws shut, to keep from saying anything. I didn't truly want to believe it, but it was all too easy to see that Severus' words were the truth. "This is the one and only time I will discuss this with you, so you had better listen. I've slept with him. I've slept with a seventeen year old boy, actually Potter was sixteen at the time, and he was my student. I was weak and he propositioned me and I couldn't refuse. I felt I needed something, anything at that moment I would have done just about anything...." I found it hard to breathe as I listened to him. "I'm not proud of it and I should be in jail. Potter holds the information over my head every time I catch him with another. I'm only telling you this, Draco, because I don't want for you to fall into his trap. You can't trust his innocent act; he'll only screw you over, in any way possible. So please, listen to me." Severus covered my hand with his, for a moment, before leaving me.


	8. Chapter 8

Updated: 1/11/2010 

* * *

I was laying on my bed trying to get some homework done. Severus went to my teachers to get the work I was supposed to do. I didn't know why he bothered, but I guess it was better than letting me fall behind.

He was still sarcastic and grouchy though, even more so than usual. I think it was guilt over telling me about Potter.

I still wondered why my parents have never mention to me that I had a godfather. What's point in making him my godfather then never mentioning it? I could only think that maybe he had a falling out with my parents.

Which led me to my mother; what was she thinking?! Come home? She rushed me out, putting all the blame on my father, now she tells me it's fucking 'time to come home'! Like hell.

I sighed in frustration and tried to go back to the calculus problem I had been working on. Let's see.... limits.... I didn't remember. With that, I closed the book and made my way down stairs. I smelled diner. Severus had gotten started cooking dinner for the both of us. I think it is part of his guilt over 'busting my bubble' about Potter. I still handled lunch and breakfast on weekends, during which he didn't get up until 12, surprisingly. I think he would scream bloody murder if I were to get him up at 8:00 am on a Saturday; Severus is definitely not a morning person.

/Did he really sleep with Potter?/ I couldn't help wonder as I got closer to the kitchen.

/He's making spaghetti/, I smiled at that. I hadn't had it in a while. "Set the table," Severus told me, keeping his attention on the pot of sauce. I did and took my spot and waited.

Dinner is quiet at first, but Severus is the first to break the silence. "Potter's found himself a new toy." If he expected that to hurt me, it didn't. I didn't care if Potter found someone else to pester.

I never had anything going on with Potter to begin with! Besides, he still had a boyfriend as far as I knew. "What about Blake?"

"The boyfriend?" Severus sneered. "I have yet to figure him out. I'm pretty sure he knows. Maybe he likes to watch." My godfather said it with a completely straight face, but I think that it was his idea of a joke. "I've seen him watching Potter leave with other students, all boys. I'm not sure how Mr. Blake feels about it; he's too good at hiding it."

Was Potter cheating? That might explain why Blake had such a sour personality. But I still remembered what Potter said the last time I saw me. 'You aren't any different from the rest of them'. And everything else was equally confusing. I didn't understand what he meant, especially since, as I said before, we haven't done anything.

I slammed my fork back on the table and pushed away from the table. I was no longer hungry. "I understand what you're trying to do. I know being around Potter is a bad idea. You don't have to keep hammering it into my head," I said through strained teeth, picking up my plate to cover it and put it in the fridge. He would kill me if I wasted his food.

"Are you sure about that?" There was a slight growl that let me now he was getting irritated with me. "Are you telling me you no longer think about him? Because I have yet to see any proof of that, Draco. All you do is sulk about Potter."

"Like you can't seem to stop thinking about him?" I knew I had gone too far when he abruptly rose to his feet and left the house, grabbing his keys and coat on the way. Once again I was alone. 

* * *

I didn't see Severus for a while after that; which was two days ago. He would leave before I woke and didn't return until I'd gone to bed, assuming that he came home at all. I hadn't left the house and I still had a week left on my suspension. I actually did manage to get most of my work done, including English. As I had said several times, I did not need a tutor.

I was currently trying to decide what I was going to eat when the phone rang. I wondered if I should answer it. It might be an important call for Severus. That thought almost made me refuse to pick up the phone, but I did it anyway. I was largely disappointed.

It's my mother, again.

"Yes?" I answered. I knew my voice was a bit flat, but I didn't care.

"Draco? Is that you?" I heard her frantic voice over the other end.

It was only my worry that something is wrong that kept me from making a sarcastic remark. "Yes, mother; is something wrong?"

She was silent for a moment. "Yes. It's your father. He's still in a rage over.... your... preference. I thought he was fine now but, some things happened."

What?! But that made no sense! Lucius Malfoy had a dark side, I knew that at a young age, but it had *never* been directed towards us. "What do you mean?" I ask her; Should I go home? Maybe I had enough money for a cab.

"He's disappeared! I've tried calling everyone I could think of, but no one has seen him!" I heard her say desperately on the other end. "We had an argument. I've decided to accept your... you as you are. He couldn't, I've never seen him so angry! He hit me Draco, he's gone. I need you, Draco."

I almost dropped the phone. That's impossible! Father would never do anything like that. He never even spanked me as a kid! I had never seen him even come close to raising a hand to my mother. But maybe when I wasn't around.... "That's not possible!" I half yelled into the receiver, the phone was about to fall out my hand, but I kept a death grip on it. /It's simply not possible..../

"He did, Draco. Lucius left! He doesn't want either of us. Please Draco, believe me." I could hear her crying on the other end. "Come home! I need you with me."

I found myself nodding slowly, but then I remembered that she couldn't see me. "I will." I hang up the phone in a daze. My father hit her?

Should I listen to her and come home, or was she lying. She's my mother; why would she lie like that. Buy my father would never hit her! I thought I knew both of these things, but now they were conflicting.

I didn't know what to believe. 

* * *

I wasn't given the chance to decide. Severus found me still standing in front of the phone, just staring at it, a couple hours later.

"Draco. Are you ok?"

I just looked at him. I couldn't say it. I still didn't believe it.

He glanced at the phone, probably guessing that it had to do with my problem. It was obvious. "Who called? Did you call him?"

"No!" I suddenly shouted. Not everything has to have something to do with fucking Potter! I didn't say the last part out loud, but I knew he understood.

"Who called?" Severus asked again, taking a calm tone with me again. I tried to not be relaxed by his deep voice, but I was. At least, calm enough to answer.

"Mother," I saw his face immediately tense. He didn't like her.

"I see. What did she say?" I just shook my head. I knew I was acting like a stupid child, but I couldn't help it. I still couldn't....

"Draco, I can't help if you don't tell me. There's no one else here." And he was right. No one else was there. Not my mother, not my father, or anyone else. Only him, he was the only one who was actually trying to help me. He was the only one who seemed the care even the slightest bit about *me*. It's comforting to know there was at least one. So I told him.

"She said father hit her." I finally got out.

He just stared at me for a moment. "Oh."

"Just 'oh'," I stared back. "She said he didn't want me."

"Bullshit." Finally, Severus showed some emotion, when he grabbed me by the shoulders for an instant, before letting go. "You can't ever think such a thing. I do not believe that Lucius would strike Narcissa, no matter how bad an argument gets, and I definitely know he would never hurt you, Draco. He loves you."

"That's what I thought, but why would she lie to me. I may sound a bit naive, something I never thought I'd call myself, but mothers aren't supposed to lie to their children. Little white lies to make them feel better, I understand; but something like this? I don't understand it." I knew probably sounded hysterical, but dammit, I was! "Besides, he did nothing to stop her from sending me away."

Severus actually did put my arms around me then. "That's because you grew up with a privilege that many don't. You had two parents who showed you nothing but love your entire life. The fact that either of them would betray you is not something you want to understand. I do not know why Narcissa would say something like that. I've never had the best relationship with her, but I've always thought her honorable. She would have to be for Lucius to marry her." He was quiet for a few moments then released me.

"So what am I going to do?" I was not expecting an answer, but I got one anyway.

"I suggest finding out for yourself what's going on, go home Draco." I actually get helpful advice this time.

But- "A cab ride is expensive." I could afford it, but if an emergency happened.... Severus seemed to understand and pulled out a couple of pounds.

"I'll give you a ride to the train station. It'll get you there faster and save you some money. I'll wait while you pack."

I got upstairs and a thought occurred to me. Why was he back all of a sudden? And helping me. But then again, our fight wasn't that horrible. I shrugged it off and packed a bag. I hoped to be back by the time I had to return to school, if not sooner. I considered calling over the phone again, but Severus was right. I needed to deal with her in person, as well as figure out what was going on with my father. I still wasn't sure what I believed, but I would at least try to get down to the bottom of it.


	9. Chapter 9

The train ride was about as boring as I thought it would be, with passengers that were equally boring. I spent the first half hour blissfully unaccompanied, until I felt the seat dip and realized I was no longer alone. Unfortunately, I really didn't want company and was in a bad enough mood to tell whoever they were that they could find another seat, hopefully on another train. My tongue got caught in my throat the moment I turned around to tell the person off. It was him, Potter.

At least, that's what I thought at first, until he turned around. No, this boy had blue eyes and his hair was a shade closer to brown. He was decent looking though.

"Hi, I hope you don't mind. I wanted to come over" He smiled casually. Seemed nice enough, so I nodded yes. "Great. I'm Patrick by the way." He held a hand out.

"Draco." I surprised myself and shook it.

"Nice to meet you; so, businesses or pleasure?" Patrick grinned wider.

/What?/ I found myself blushing before I realized what he was asking. /I'm such an idiot. That wasn't even a real come on!/ "Neither. I'm visiting family." I finally noticed he was still holding my hand.

"Ouch." Patrick winced. "Sounds like it is definitely not pleasure."

"No. Not even close." I hoped that he would take the hint. I didn't want to talk about it.

"I understand. Let's talk about something else. Like am I going to see you again?" I liked the way his cheeks dimpled when he smiled.

I decided it couldn't hurt to flirt a little; I needed a distraction. And I might get something out of it. "I don't know. We'll have to see." Besides, he really was rather attractive.

Patrick seemed a little dumbfounded for a moment, but quickly recovered. "I never thought you would actually accept a date, but I glad. Well, let's see. There's always a movie or dinner. Lunch, if you want something more casual."

I considered him for a moment, before agreeing. It had been a while, not since I moved in with Severus. And if things led to more... "Lunch would be nice; your treat or mine?" I was finally getting comfortable again.

"I asked, so mine." I was unfortunately a little relieved. /I need to get a job./ The money Severus had been giving me was enough for anything that I might need, but not much was left over for fun. I was really missing my parents allowance. However, I knew I shouldn't even consider getting a job, at least not yet.

We talked for a while longer. The conversation wasn't too forced, which was nice. Patrick seemed a bit nervous, but I figured he hadn't asked too many guys out. It turned out we had the same stop, so it wouldn't be too difficult to go out on that date. Maybe.

When the time came to get off the train I realized I had forgotten to get his number. I saw Patrick leaving with a group of friends. I stopped for a moment, worried that he might not have come out to them, yet. But, then again he had flirted with me in front of everyone else on the train.

I tried to catch up and as I got closer I heard them talking. It seemed a cheerful enough conversation, so I didn't feel like I would be intruding on anything private. I was trying to get a date, or something, with this guy, after all. But then I happened to catch what they were talking about. Me.

"-fell for it. You really pulled it off! I can't believe it." A boy roughly swung an arm around Patrick's shoulder. The other friend was laughing too hard to say anything.

"I know." I heard Patrick say, smiling in a way that I was now beginning to hate. "That queer really thought I was gay! I'm almost offended, but you were right. I wouldn't never have guessed that that guy... you know, would take it up the ass, a ponce. But you were right, man." Patrick pulled some money out of his pocket and gave it to one of his friends.

It was a bet. I was only asked out as a bet! A part of me wanted to pound his face into the pavement, but I hesitated long enough and Patrick happened to glance over his shoulder. He knew I had heard everything, or at least enough. He looked shocked at first, but had enough grace to look guilty. A closet case with a couple of ass-hole friends; I didn't care. I wasn't going to be used like that. I just flipped him off and turned around. That spineless bastard wasn't worth the effort punching him would take.

* * *

It was night by the time I got to the house. I was still pissed about earlier and a whole new wave of dread filled me now. What would I find inside? Should I even be here? Yes, this was supposed to be my home. I had every right to be here. Although, in that moment I kind of wished I was eating dinner with Severus.

The driver left me at the end of driveway, as I told him to and I started my trek on the cobbled path.

I attempted to expel my fear as I fitted my key into the door. It still worked. I had been half-afraid that they had changed the locks. I don't know why, but it just seemed so long since I left.

The house looked the same as it always did; old, that is, and grand, I guess. It was nearly ancient, I could say. I didn't hear anything so I continued to look around, finding my parent's bedroom empty. The first thing I noticed was an odd smell, which I traced to the kitchen. Besides, maybe the cook would know where my mother was and by now, I was getting a bit hungry and she usually had something lying around. Remember, before I lived with my god-father I had never cooked for myself a day in my life. The cook and I had the relationship of acquaintances; she didn't appear to like or dislike me and I mostly ignored her, but she was pleasant. Now I remembered how good her meals tasted and it was about dinner time.

I opened the kitchen door, cautiously. I didn't want to startle her if she was around something hot. What I found was definitely not the cook. It was my mother, trying to fan a burning oven.

* * *

I rushed forward and looked everywhere for the fire extinguisher. It took me a couple of tries, but finally I found it under a cabinet. I raced over to the stove, fiddling with the pin the whole way, panicked. /How does this thing work again?!/ I asked myself. I finally got it working after a few moments. My mother pressed herself against the far wall, now fanning herself, while I got the fire out, which felt like forever.

Exhausted I dropped the extinguisher. The oven was charred, but salvageable. I looked inside to try and find what had caught on fire. At first I mistook it for a rock or a piece of charcoal, which was odd, but I realized it must have been a piece of meat. I sighed to myself and turned around.

"What were you doing, mother?" Although the answer was obvious.

She stops waving her hand in front of her face and tosses her blond hair over one shoulder. "I thought I would cook dinner tonight. However it's obvious that oven does not work correctly." I could tell by the way she wouldn't look me in the eye that she knew it was her own fault.

"Yes, but where's the cook?" I tried not to sound exasperated, honestly.

"I let her go." She says after a few moments. Mother was lying, I knew, but why.

"Takeout?" I asked her, but was ignored.

I decided to drop the subject for the moment. I was hungry and it was obvious that my mother was as well, if she came near the kitchen. As anyone could tell, cooking was not her strong point. Besides we had other things to discus; as far as I can tell, father really wasn't there. I managed to shoo her out of the kitchen, with much indignation on her part. There wasn't much food left in the kitchen. I really hoped she wasn't eating her own cooking....

I managed a couple of omelets with what I could find, and after the oven had cooled enough I removed the object from inside. I think it had been a roast. I shook my head in depression and carried the two plates out.

After the small meal had been consumed my questions began.

"Where's father?" Something I honestly wanted to know. There wasn't a mark on her.

"I told you, he left. But you're home now." There were real tears in my mother's eyes. Maybe what she told me was true. But I wanted to see him. I had to know for sure.

"Mother-"

"No!" Suddenly she rose from her chair and ran upstairs, tears still falling.

I knew I wasn't going to get any answers tonight and I was beginning to feel a bit drained. I didn't want to hurt her, but I had to know. What was going on? All of this couldn't simply be because I was gay.

* * *

The next day didn't go much better. Any time I brought my father up she would go quiet or ignore me. At first I tried to be patient, but after a while was I truly annoyed.

Mother was prattling on about something that I wasn't listening to when I finally had enough.

"Mother! Where is my father?" I hissed, feeling only slightly guilty. "I swear if you don't tell me, and the truth, I will leave and never come back. I was fine being there with Severus," only partly a lie, "and I will stay there until I graduate, after which I will move far away!" /Great, I'm holding myself ransom/ But it seemed to work.

I was surprised when my mother glared at me; I had half expected tears.

"You want to know Draco? I told you, he left me!" she hissed. "No, Lucius didn't hit me, but he did leave! Lucius left shortly after I asked you to come home. I don't know where he is. And the cook quit soon after. She said was fed up with the screaming, the nerve of that woman." Her face softened at that. "I was wrong Draco, when I sent you away. You're the only one I have, the only thing holding my marriage together, I've come to realize. Please stay, for me."

I was surprised; I never knew my parents had problems. But I was relieved when she admitted my father didn't strike her. He could be a stern man, yes, but rarely violent. It didn't make me happy that they had kept such a thing from me, that their marriage might not have been as happy as I had once thought. But why?

"He's really left you?" Mother knew what I was asking and nodded. "Then why did you make me leave, said that my father didn't want me around. Is that true?" I hoped to god it wasn't.

"No." She was reluctant to say more, but started to talk in a quite voice. "Your father loves you every bit as much as I do. We didn't want you to worry about us, so we never fought in front of you. But there were... things that happened between us. When I was pregnant with you, I found that Lucius was with... someone else. Someone who I was very close to then, closer than Lucius was, or so I thought. I told him I was pregnant. So your father stayed with me and left his lover. Things have been strained between Lucius and me ever since, a troubled eighteen years of marriage. I thought he resented you. I know the only reason he married me was because he felt responsible. I knew Lucius would marry me if I told him. And he only stayed because he loved you. I'm sorry for lying to you, for using you, Draco. I know I can never make that up to you." Her eyes were beginning to tear up. I would say that my mother was simply being emotional again, but mine were as well.

Everything was silent for a few moments.

"You sent me away to try and save your marriage?"

"Yes."

"So, it's really over? You two are getting a divorce and everything, not just separation." I finally asked.

"Yes."

"Does father know where I am?" My breath caught in my throat as I asked this question.

"I think so. There's no reason Lucius shouldn't, now." There was something she still wasn't telling me, but those words did hurt. He hadn't tried to see me.

I wanted to hug her, but I didn't know if it would help. The air felt clearer between us, but there was still something. All was not right, and it wasn't just this. I couldn't imagine what she had to have been going through. It's no wonder she reacted as she had, and I understood, to some degree, my father's, as well. They were both stuck this marriage; my mother was unloved and my father was trapped. /I hope he's happy now!/ I thought angrily. And I had wonder, did the reason he left have anything to do with a lover from years ago, or had he simply had enough of my mother?

Neither of us talked for a while, both deep in our thoughts. I tried to hate my father, but I couldn't. I was pissed off and hurt, but he was still my father, the man who had helped raise me and loved me all these years. Even my mother wouldn't deny that he loved me.

It would take me a while to get over it. I knew my parents were getting divorced.

* * *

Updated: 12/9/2008


	10. Chapter 10

Over the next couple of days neither my mother nor I talked about what was happening. We both stuck to safe subjects; nothing about my father or the divorce, nothing about why I was no longer living at home, about how she had lied to me, for her own gain. Safe, that is, until my schooling came up. I almost lied to her and said everything was great, but there had been enough lies. She didn't take it well.

After yelling at me for about a minute, surprisingly, she hugged me. "I'm sorry I've done this to you Draco. If I hadn't overreacted, you wouldn't have been put under all this stress. However, since I won't be able to help you myself, I'll simply hire you a tutor." She proclaimed happily. That was my mother in nutshell; nothing seemed to faze her for long. And that was what I normally loved about her. However, at that moment....

I felt my world tilt. "No mother, please! That's really not necessary!" I replied, maybe a little too hastily. Did she think I was home for good?

"Are you sure?" She looked at me suspiciously.

"Yes. I've simply gotten out of the habit of studying. I'll pull my grade up on my own." But she still looked worried.

"And what about the suspension; I have never known you to cause trouble, Draco."

"It was an accident. I wasn't trying to sound the alarm. I just leaned on the door." A feeble lie.

"You're not acting out, are you?"

"No. It was an accident." Yes, Potter was an accident waiting to happen. I tried to push him to the back of my mind; and I had gotten so good at not thinking of him recently, damn it!

"If you're sure." I was relieved that she finally dropped the subject. "Now, come help me make dinner."

I almost cringed.

Now I had to tell her I wasn't stay.

I let her talk while I ate, trying to come up with a way to break it easily, but in the end I decided to be blunt.

I put my fork down. "Mother." I said, interrupting her.

"Yes." She frowned slightly at having been stopped.

"You do know I'm going back to my god-father's at the end of the week?"

"What do you mean 'going back', Draco? You're home." Her face instantly reddened and I knew tears were coming.

"I'm not ready to come home. I need some time away." From you. I had more or less forgiven her, but my own mother had sold me out.

"Draco, you can't! I need you." In that moment my mother seemed like a little girl to me. I knew that she loved me, but she also lonely.

"You'll be fine."

"You should be here." My mother interjected, quietly.

"I can't change schools again right now. I don't want to. Besides, I needed to grow up and leave the house at some point."

"Will you reconsider, after you graduate?" She asked after a moment of thinking.

"I'll think about it." Before I could finish, she had gotten up from her seat and was hugging me.

"Thank you."

* * *

It was Friday and it was time for me to go back home, to Severus'. My mind was full of more questions than answers. But it was time to go back. Back to everything....

Although I did get a late birthday present -or early- either way, my parents had bought it before my 'coming out'.

I had my back packed, full of extra clothes that hadn't had when I got there. My mother had decided I would be her new shopping buddy, against my will, as I was her gay son. I really wanted to have a sister at that moment.... But would I really wish my parents on anybody?

Finally ready to go, I met my mother in her room to say my goodbyes. She wouldn't let go of me for at least a minute.

"Letting you go was the worst things I ever did. I know I've apologized, but I just want to say it again. I'm sorry Draco." She pulled away, still holding on. "Promise me that you're still my son. That this won't be the last time I see you?"

My anger at her had cooled at this point. Her actions still irritated me but I did love my mother. "Of course." And I hugged her back and I felt like a kid again. It was comforting, but it didn't last.

She walked me to the front door, opening it for me. Only there wasn't a limo or taxi in the driveway. At first I wondered who it belonged to; I knew it wasn't one my fathers. It was too... sporty. I turned around and my mother was holding out a set of keys.

"It's mine?" I could hardly believe it and my breath had caught in my throat.

"Happy belated birthday, Draco" She said smiling.

"Thank you!" And I was hugging her again. A car?! Wait. "I don't have a license." I told my mother, confused.

"You were practicing with your father... before. I know you'll be fine. Just drive slowly. And I'll call Severus to help you get one. And please do so as soon as possible." She gave me a pointed look. "And call me when you get there."

Driving slowly... would be impossible. I was practically drooling. A new sleek black sports car....

But I managed, after getting lost a couple times and praying the whole time I wouldn't be pulled over.

* * *

Things were quiet after I returned. Severus and I went on like we always had our argument before my mother's call was forgotten for the moment. And my mother had talked to Severus, who agreed to take me to get my license during the winter break as long as I was ready. Although of course, I was no longer allowed to drive my car until then.

I went back to school and things were pretty much the same. I wasn't too far behind in most classes and had improved some in English. The only thing that was odd was Potter's absence. I hadn't seen him since I had returned, which was a couple of days ago. Weasley and Granger, who apparently believed Potter and I were friends, were more worried than usual (they always worried). Potter told Granger that he was sick over a week ago and hasn't been seen since.

They weren't too bad, I guess. It wasn't like I had anyone else to talk to. So, I talked to them on a couple more occasions, along with a girl named Pansy Parkinson, who I think has a crush on me. Go figure. Blake had taken to ignoring me, thankfully. I should have felt relieved about that, but, honestly, it just made me nervous.

Severus gets... odd when I bring my father up, although he encourages me to talk to him. He's particularly edgy when my father comes up. He still hasn't called or come to see me. My mother hasn't heard from him either. Severus just says that he probably knows I'm in good company; but then I have to wonder... does he? Is he off with his old lover or someone new? Does he not care that he has a son?

Still, sometimes I think Severus knew something that my mother wouldn't tell me. After all, he is an 'old family friend'. And gay, as far as I could tell (he does claim to have slept with Potter). But my father couldn't be... could he?

My mother and I were still talking. I managed to convince her to hire a new cook, a man named Thomas.

I was working on homework when my phone rang. Who knows this number? I wondered as I didn't recognize the number. However, I quickly remembered that I had given it to Potter at the end of our last study session. Why the hell would he be calling me? Instantly I was pissed, remembering our last encounter.

"Hello?" I heard on the other end. Wait, that wasn't Potter's....

"Weasley? How-" I was cut off quickly.

"I asked Harry."

"Okay... but why are you calling me. No offense." I was slightly irritated; it wasn't everyday you were called by someone you barely know.

"Well, we're friends... I guess." I could tell that he definitely had another reason for calling. Weasley was an ok guy, but we weren't close.

"Weasley, *why* are you calling?" I asked again, thinking of hanging up.

"Ok, Ok! Um, have you seen Harry by any chance? You see, he was acting odd right after you left."

I nearly sighed in frustration. Him again! "No, I haven't seen him." I almost yelled over the phone. "Couldn't you have waited until tomorrow?"

"Sorry I asked, but I didn't want to worry Hermione."

"She's already worried." I cut him off.

"Any more worried." Weasley corrected himself, sounding exasperated. "I think something strange is happening with Harry. He shouldn't be sick this long and even if he was, I would think he would call Hermione or me. I even asked Blake," I heard a slight gag on the other end, "but that dick just said Harry's sick. And I don't believe him for an instant. And Harry's uncle hung up on me when I called. Would you help-"

"No. The last time I got involved I got suspended, so no. Plus there's nothing in it for me." I didn't mean to sound like a heartless bastard, but I honestly didn't care. So Potter had gotten himself in trouble again, so what. It was nothing new.

"Fuck you, Malfoy. I was hoping that you were a decent guy, but I guess I was wrong. You know, Harry seemed to really like you before, but I'm hoping it was just a passing fancy. He doesn't need another bastard in his life." Weasley hung up on me.

/Potter liked me?/ I refused to believe it. He might, and I emphasize 'might', have wanted to screw me, but like me? No. And even if he did, Potter was nothing but trouble. Next time I saw him I would probably get arrested or expelled instead of suspended, with my luck.

To hell with you Potter. Fuck you, and your boyfriend.

My phone rang again. I considered drowning it in the toilet, but answered it again instead. If it was Weasley calling about Potter, again, I would strang…

"Malfoy?" It was rough, but I would recognize that voice anywhere, Potter.

"Potter."

He was quiet on the other end, for a few moments, but then I finally spoke again. "Good. It's you."

"Was there a reason you called?" My teeth were clenched so tight my jaw hurt.

Pause. "...Yeah. Can you get Professor Snape to pick me up?"

"Pick you up." I suddenly wondered if there was something still between them. Which would mean my father wasn't with Severus. I didn't know if that made me feel any better.

"Yeah, Um... I don't have a lot of time to talk, so please listen. I'm in jail."

Jail, great.

* * *

Updated: 12/9/2008


	11. Chapter 11

I nearly hung up on him. Jail?!

"Malfoy?" I heard on the other end.

"Where?" After a moment's hesitation, he gave me the address.

"I'll be there." I hung up to go downstairs to Severus' desk. I knew he would kill me later, but I dug out his emergency credit card. How much did it cost to bail someone out, anyway?

I also knew it wouldn't help if he came home and noticed my car gone, but it was night and I wasn't walking down to Potter's end of the neighborhood without a way to leave quickly.

The whole drive I was thinking to myself: why was I doing this? I should just let Potter rot, or at the very least called Severus to get him out, like Potter had asked. However, the thought of calling Severus seemed suddenly distasteful. No, I knew I had to do this myself.

I parked my car a block away from the police station, which was only short distance from Potter's apartment. I questioned leaving my car; would it still be there when I got back? But I didn't want a ticket for driving without a license, I had enough problems.

The officer glared at me over the top of his glasses as I came through the door; he must be used to the kids in this area causing him trouble. I tried to look as innocent as possible, but the glare didn't lessen.

"Name and reason for being here?" he questioned me.

"Draco Malfoy. I'm here to pay bail on Harry Potter... my cousin." I doubted he believed me, even for a moment, but I didn't know if non-family members could do this. If I was lucky he would just want Potter out of his hair and make this easy for me. No such luck. The officer hands me paperwork.

As I took a few minutes to fill it out I wondered if this was going on my record. I didn't even know what Potter was in for.

I hate him.

I finally finished and handed it back to officer, still considering walking out and leaving Potter. "Tell the boy he needs to stay out of here; Potter's been in here too often and soon he won't be getting bail. You tell him that!" The officer said as he took the paperwork. I was told to wait for a few moments and the man disappeared, I guess to get Potter.

Damn! I thought, wincing when Potter was brought out. He looked awful. His clothes were dirtier and more torn than usual and there were bags under his bloodshot eyes. I suddenly had the irrational urge to run to him, but I quickly pushed it down. Instead, I watched as the cuffs were removed, frozen. What was I supposed to do now? Potter walked towards me.

"You actually came." His voice sounded just as rough as the rest of him. Potter wouldn't look me in the eyes again; I could only catch a glimpse as he kept his eyes on the floor.

"Yeah... come on. We have to walk." I almost told him 'to the car' but the officer was still watching us.

Potter just nodded and followed behind. I finally realized it had gotten cold as I saw Potter shiver out the corner of my eyes once we got outside. "I have a car next block over, Birthday present." Why did I tell him that! I mentally kicked myself. I always find myself saying things around Potter.... But he didn't seem to react, just continued to follow me.

I was relieved to find my car relatively unharmed. It looked like a rock had been thrown at it, on the hood. I cursed under my breath, but just got into the car and unlocked the other door for Potter. He didn't get in.

I rolled down the window. "What are you waiting for? Get in."

He shook my head. "I can walk. You don't have to drive me."

"Don't be ridiculous, get in. I'm driving you home." He still hesitated. "Look Potter. I just bailed you out of jail. The least you can do is get in the god damned car." I was starting to get irritated; why was I acting like this? But then he grabbed the handle and got in.

The drive was uncomfortable, to say the least. I still wanted to know what happened, but Potter wasn't volunteering anything, so I kept my mouth shut. However, I couldn't help looking at him out the corner of my eye. Potter seemed exhausted. Has he been sleeping? As I said before, Potter looked awful.

I finally got to his apartment after a few short minutes and parked so he could get out. I looked over and noticed he had fallen asleep. After a moment of indecision, I shook him awake. Potter seemed dazed for a moment, but took in his surroundings quickly enough. He started to get out, but I stopped him. "Come over my house tomorrow, after school." I told him. I don't know why I asked and he seemed just as surprised. Uncertainty was clear on his face, but Potter nodded before walking into the building.

I quickly drove home, but as I saw Severus' car in the driveway I remembered. I'm in deep shit.

* * *

Severus didn't take it well, as expected. Pissed was an understatement. Between the car and the money, he wouldn't be letting me out of my sight for a moment. I hate making him angry; it feels like I'm disappointing one of my parents. He's never laid a hand on me in anger. I can tell that he's been almost angry enough with me to do so, at times, when I really try my patience. I don't think he would ever do so. I know that he's one of those people that only yell when they're worried.

I still don't know why I did it. Maybe I have a soft spot for Potter. I did invite him over today, after all. I've obviously lost my mind.

He seemed to give up after a while. I simply got quiet and left the room. I hated that, the disappointment. I hated that I stole from him, but I think it may have been the right thing to help Potter and I do plan on paying me back. But what did Potter do; was it drugs... Or something else I don't want to think about? Should I have not done anything? I ran both hands through my hair in frustration, grabbing it for a moment, before releasing. Too many questions....

I never imagined my life would fall apart like this. I still haven't spoken with my father.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Lime alert

* * *

I was worried the next day. Potter still didn't show. Weasley gave me the cold shoulder and Severus wouldn't look at me. Blake still ignored me, but that's not something I have a problem with.

I was worried about Potter.

I went to Severus' office after school and told him Potter was supposed to be coming over, even if at that point I wasn't expecting him to show up.

Severus' hands turned into claws for a moment. I had no idea what he would say, knowing that he had to consider this as a betrayal.

I knew I was bring his pain to the forefront, but... I don't know.

Even though I knew I was causing him pain I guess I was almost resigned. I couldn't escape Potter. At least, not for long. So maybe I did want his company and I should just get it out of the way....

Severus eyes were like black ice, but he nodded, still giving me the silent treatment. I would find a way to make things up to him, somehow.

I waited in a chair outside Severus' office, trying to stay out of my godfather's way, until he was ready to leave.

I heard a laugh come from down the hall and I saw him, Blake, and a guy. Not Potter, but he had the guy pinned to the locker, his tongue firmly shoved down the other's throat. The boy looked younger than Potter, maybe fourteen or fifteen. I nearly growled at the display; I hated Blake with a passion in that moment. /...should make him choke on that tongue.../ I was mildly surprised by my anger, but it was then that I decided Weasley was right, Potter didn't deserve that bastard.

I clenched my teeth, trying not to sneer, as the two parted and Blake started to walk past me. He seemed to realize who I was and stopped right in front of me, still looking ahead, down the hall.

"If you mention anything about that to Potter, I'll kill you." He whispered, before he continued to walk. 'Potter'. Not 'Harry'. Blake didn't give a shit about Harry, but I guess I should have figured that out by now.

I was still fuming when Severus came out of his office. I could tell that he had calmed down a great bit, but that did not help my mood. Should I tell Potter? That was the main question on my mind. I was involved. Whether I wanted to be or not; by now there was no longer any doubt in my mind. I was completely involved.

Suddenly, I knew that I didn't hate Potter anymore. There was still a great deal of annoyance, but not hate.

I walked behind Severus, lost in my thoughts, until we got outside. I was releived to find that Potter was standing next to Severus car. He looked almost scared. Although, thinking of Severus, I guess he had reason to be. But he was there, reguardless. I saw Severus tense for a moment and I realized Potter was looking at him. I couldn't understand the look, but a wave of jealousy hit me. Why should he have Potter and my father! Potter had asked for Severus to be the one to get him, last night, not me. Potter's had sex with him. I just couldn't seem to forget that.

I managed to nod to Potter, in greeting, which he didn't return. I opened to back door to let him in. He hesitated only a moment, before getting in without saying a word. I thought to get back there with him, but I didn't know if I could take it.

We seemed to make it to the house in record time, after which Severus took off. I thought he didn't want me out his sight, but I guess Potter was enough of a deterrent. /Where is he going?/ I had to wonder.

Potter never said a word, not during the drive, not as he followed me to my room. Neither did I dare open my mouth. The silence was stifling.

Potter sat on bed, while I went to bathroom. I saw suddenly so nervous I was shaking. He was in the house, in my room, on my bed. And I had asked for this invasion.

After I relieved myself. I finally made it back to my room wondering if Potter would still be there. He was. Sitting in nothing but the skin he had been born in.

I almost walked out, but I wanted him. It had been so long.... And I suddenly wanted him more than anything.

I felt my brain shut off as I walked forward. Suddenly my lips were on him and I had Potter on his back. There was a nagging thought in the back of my mind saying I shouldn't be doing this, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered to me in that moment, but this. I had him.

My clothes had disappeared after a few moments and after some preparation I thrust into Potter. I was in heaven. I tossed his knees over my shoulders, so I could push deeper. There was nothing else but me and him.

It went on for several minuets; I gripped him ass with both hands, holding the cheeks apart. It was perfect, so warm and tight. And moist. I felt my release begin build and I thrust harder. Finally I felt myself come hard into Potter and I pushed forward one last time, before collapsing on top of me.

Still inside, I lifted myself up to gaze at him, starting with where we were connected.

However, I quickly came down from high looking down on him. He was completely dry and soft. Potter had never come. I looked at his face for the first time in what felt like forever and saw I had a hand covering his face. It didn't hide the tears.

Overcome with disgust I lurched out of him and scrambled to the other end of the bed. Immediately, Potter, Harry curled into ball, shaking. I reached forward, but stopped when I saw redness on the inside of one his thighs.

I glanced down at my own, now soft, penis. It was tinted red with blood.

Weasley was right. I'm just like Blake.

/You aren't any different from the rest of them, are you?/

* * *

I felt myself becoming sick and ran out the room. Afterwords, I sat on the floor, thinking.

What the fucking hell had happened?!

What did I do now?

Eventually, I knew I had to get up and face him, but could I?

So, after what seemed like an hour I finally roused myself.

But it seemed that luck was on my side. He was sleep.

Still dazed, I left the room to find something, anything, to do. Eventually, I settled on watching the tv. Something pleasantly mind numbing.

After getting through a marathon of sitcoms, I heard the sound of feet on the stairs, causing me to jerk up from where I had been lounging on the couch.

And there was Potter, dressed and looking as if nothing had happened.

"Hey." With that simple word I was wondering if maybe it had all been a waking dream, or something.

"Hey." What else could I say. Instead I settled on pushing myself all the way up.

Potter shifted for a moment, before saying. "So I guess I'll be leaving now."

"Um..." Then I knew that if I let him leave things would only get worse. "Or you could stay. This show is pretty good. Not great, but...."

I was sure he could see through me, but he just shrugged and sat on the couch, taking his time. I felt myself flush, but didn't say anything. If he didn't want to talk about it then neither did I.

We sat in silence for a while longer, until I felt that the laugh track was mocking us and turned the channel.

"Uh... You know, that was the best sleep I've gotten in a while." Potter spoke, shocking me out of my thoughts.

"How can you say that, after..." And I couldn't say it.

Again, he shrugs. "Not as if that wasn't the reason I came here."

That was when I realized why he had accepted my invitation, thinking I was asking him to sleep with me. Although, I guess I did want to, considering. But what type of person just assumes that....

But I didn't correct him.

"Just shut up and watch tv." And we were both silent once again.

I really wanted to know what was going on in his mind.

* * *

Updated: 12/10/2008


	13. Chapter 13

AN: Please discontinue comments on my grammar, unless you point out something specific. I do read and check my chapters several time, but I am only human.

Also, I've had to do a great deal of editing on the first 12 chapters of this story, almost causing me to discontinue it. (I've even completely rewritten some parts.)

I've trying to not sound pissy and hurt (I'm a complete light-weight), but seriously, I've heard it time and time again. I am trying to improve it.

So, unless you're volunteering to help, please to not comment on my grammar. I already know.

Again, I am looking for help.

Thank you.

* * *

After that Potter returned to school. I still have no idea what had been going on before; I hadn't asked. But Potter seemed to almost attach himself to me. It wasn't that he was at my side at all times, but when ever we were in the same room he would start to gravitate.

I just don't get him.

I've tried to forget that night. I almost did at times, as Potter never showed that anything had happened. Maybe it was like he said and he had expected it. But I really didn't think I had been rough enough to...

Forget it.

I was going to drive myself nuts with worry and guilt if I kept this up.

And again I eventually found myself hanging out with the trio. It was Friday and I got dragged into it by Granger and Potter. Simply put, I couldn't give them a reason not to go. Severus... didn't saying anything, other than 'it's your life' and handed me money.

We just hung out, pizza, the same as last time. Granger, who was leading the conversation, seemed to have taken an interest in me all of a sudden.

"So, Draco, what was your last school like. I've always wanted to know what it was like, being in a boarding school. Was it one?"

I shrugged, taking a bite before answering. "Not much different. A school's a school, I guess." Never mind that it was a multi-million dollar institution. Hell, most of my friends there would be horrified that I even set foot in a place like this.

"Oh, come on, with a family like yours! Surely there's something you can tell us. What were your friend's like?" She fished.

I knew that Granger would just keep asking question, as I had attempted to uselessly deflect her several times now. Maybe giving her something would shut the girl up.

"Not much different than this, only... more upscale. I only saw most of them at school." And I didn't really care to see them outside of school.

"'Most'?" Of course Granger had caught that word. "So there were people you hung out with."

"Yes. 'There were people I hung out with'." I started to slightly irritated.

Luckily she seemed to get the message. "Ok. Ron and Harry tell me I should mind my own business all the time." At this both of the other boys, who had been concentrating on eating, nodded. "You don't have to be afraid to tell me off, we're friends now."

"That easy?" I asked, honestly wondering. She would pledge friendship just like that?

"Yes, of course!" And Granger's face lit, smiling. "Only, you'll have to call me Hermione. That's the only thing I ask. I'm sorry to say, none of us have had as proper an upbringing as you."

"That's alright. We can't all be perfect." I smirked, actually beginning to enjoy myself.

"Is it the same with you guys?" Granger, um, Hermione, questioned the Potter and Weasley, although it was obviously mostly directed at the latter.

"Yeah, sure." Weasley answered, after receiving a glare from his frizzy haired girlfriend.

"Harry?"

The boy just smiled at me slightly and said 'yes'.

I felt odd at that moment. I felt happy.

hr

I ended up walking Potter home and for once it was comfortable. Mostly. I still felt guilty.

"Potter--"

"Harry." He interrupted me.

"What?"

"You did say you would call me Harry now." The boy said, giving me a half smile.

"Harry, then. I'm sorry about before." Was he trying to make this hard?

"Before? Oh." Potter seemed disappointed.

"I just don't understand what happened. I sorry that I hurt you."

At this, his expression turned to surprise. "You didn't hurt me."

Instantly, I stop and grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to stop as well. "What the fuck are you talking about! I was there. I saw it. You were bleeding!" What was he talking about! I didn't hurt him.

"You didn't hurt me. I was already hurt." With his admission, Potter refused to meet my eyes.

"Potter, look at me now!" And he did, his cheeks flaming. I didn't care that he was embarrassed, I was going to get to the bottom of this. "What happened? Why didn't you tell me, stop me?!" Why didn't I notice?

"Not here. Can we go somewhere." His words caused me look around and realize that people were staring at us.

So, we walked the rest of the way to his apartment.

"Now," I started slamming his door shut. "Tell me what happened."

But Potter was rummaging around in a small box in the corner. "Do mind if I smoke? Hermione doesn't like it when I do so I leave them here."

"Afraid to talk to me?" I sneered at him.

"I'm not afraid! I just..." And Potter inability to answer told me the answer was yes.

"Just a cigarette?" I had to ask. I wasn't going home smelling like pot.

He looked hesitant, but nodded. "Fine. But you are answering my questions."

Potter just lit up in response and instantly the room began to fill with smoke. "Want one?"

"No." Instead I took refuge on his mattress.

He paced for a few minutes while I waiting. "Just holding between my lips helps, you know. At least I'm not one of those 'three packs a day' people."

"Well, there is that." I replied, getting more irritated by the moment.

"You know, Louis got me started. Back in intermediate school. My relatives hated it. But, then again, they hated Louis." He shrugged.

"Potter, get to the point." I didn't want to sit here and listen to him talk about him boyfriend.

"I am." Potter stopped and looked at me for a moment before returning to his pacing. He brought the cigarette took his lips for moment, then continued talking. "I guess what I'm trying to say in that he isn't the best boyfriend. I mean, he isn't the worst. Louis is there for me when I need him. But..." He just shook his head and went quiet again. That was when I realized he was crying. Not full blown tears, but his eyes were clearly damp.

"Potter, did he rape you, that day? Right before I saw you?" And before I saw Blake with someone else.

And his eyes connected with mine and I could see his pain clearly.

"Yes."

I took a deep breath, trying to get my thoughts together. I had known that Blake was bad news, but to do something like this! "Why didn't you tell me; why did you sleep with me right after?" That just didn't seem right to me; that right after getting raped that he would jump into bed with someone.

"I didn't want to talk about it. It happened and there's nothing I can do to change it, so why bring it up?" Potter said it like was obvious.

"But you could let me think I had hurt you. And it was obvious that you didn't want me to sleep with you!" I was nearly yelling at that point. How dare he not tell me! But I still wasn't completely blameless, and that was part of what was pissing me off.

"I didn't realize that you would care." I could tell by his face that he seriously hadn't. "I just wanted to get over him."

"So you used me."

Potter's pained expression told me everything. "Well, you didn't say no; so, it was a win win situation the way I see it."

That was when I did get up, tired of listening to his words. "That still doesn't make it right, Potter! I was wrong, ok! And you were wrong. And Louis was wrong." By the time I finished I was standing right in front of him.

"Do you really think that? You really are sorry?" Potter's eyes met mine, defiantly.

"Yes. What type of person do you think I am? I'm not Louis." Why was he looking at me like that? I started to take a step back, but Potter grabbed the collar of my shirt with his free hand.

"Then kiss me." He said simply.

"After everything, you want me to kiss you?" I answered, incredulous.

Potter dropped the cigarette, stopping to put it out under his shoe, then put both his arms around my neck. "Yes, kiss me."

And I did.


	14. Chapter 14

After getting ready for school I went to knock on Severus door, to tell him I was ready to go, but it was open already.

"┘don't care! It isn't fair to┘"

He must have been talking to someone on the phone. I couldn't help but listen from around the corner.

"You arrogant bastard Lucius! There are more people involved in this; when are you going to realize that?"

My father? Severus has been in contact with him this whole time?!

"Then act like it; because you are behaving like a child right now!"

Even though I was hurting inside, I had to laugh at that. My father would hate being called a child...

"You don't need to be lewd, Luce. And you are a child. You're hurting everyone you claim to care about. Your own son thinks you hate him."

I'd never heard anyone call my father 'Luce', not even my mother. So they really are...

Things are quiet for awhile, before Severus speaks again

"Then why are you putting him through this?"

I knew that I couldn't hear anything, but I still waited for the answer.

"My, how the mighty has fallen." The disdain was thick in my godfather's voice. The answer must not have been good. I felt my chest tighten.

"Will you at least talk to him?" Severus hissed.

There was more silence.

"Soon? That's all I ask, Lucius."

Everything went quiet again.

"Yes."

And he hung up.

"Draco, it's time to go!" Severus yelled out, his irritation clear.

Should I sneak down stair and pretend?

But the option was taken away from me when my godfather stepped out of his room, shrugging on his coat.

"You heard everything?" His black eyes bored into mine.

"Yes. I think so." I wondered if I was going to get yelled at again, it seemed like that had become the norm recently, but he just nodded.

"Come on." And he placed his hand on my shoulder for a moment, before going down the stairs.

After a moment, I followed.

hr

It was getting towards Christmas and things at school had changed a great deal; the main change being Potter, although I've started calling him Harry at this point. If I felt like he was always around the corner before, now it he was pretty much attached to me.

I couldn't get rid of him, well I had stopped trying. I was still unclear on how I felt about him, but... he was there.

Along with him, Hermione, who wouldn't rest until I called her by her name, and Weasley, who didn't care what I called him, were there also.

I would find myself at the movies, eating out, just hanging out, ect. I have even been over Weasley's house once. It was... crowded, but Harry seemed to enjoy it.

Suddenly I had a social life again. It wasn't the same as before, not even close, but it was nice to get out of the house.

Everyone knew I was with him. Including Severus, who obviously wasn't thrilled, but continued to keep his mouth shut. After telling me to always have a condom.

Then there was Blake; if he disliked me before, then he hated me now. He wanted Potter back, that was obvious. But the way I see it, he lost his chance. Even I can tell that Harry hadn't been happy, at least not compared to now (as I said, he's all over me).

His attitude didn't worry me. After all, what could Blake do to me? He was just another guy, but I couldn't help remember that time in Harry's apartment, the fear I felt.

But, that wasn't on my mind now. It was on Harry who was passed out on the bed beside me, snoring. And I was... content.

As I said, things have changed.

hr

Currently Harry and I are in the far bathroom, the same one where I found him high, hurt, and crying; only now he's on his knees before me. I gripped his shoulders as he sucked hard one last time, causing me to come. I feel Harry's fingers skirt past my balls and I know what he wants to do, but instead I pull Harry up and kiss him.

"I'm tutoring someone today." At first, I think nothing of it other than he wouldn't be at my house that night. But then I remember his first tutoring session with me.

I didn't know if I should say anything; it wasn't as if either of us had admitted to something as simple as having feelings for the other. But if Severus had been right and he was sleeping with other people...

But I couldn't say anything.

"I'll see you tomorrow." And he ran off to who knows where.

hr

I met up with Hermione on my way to Severus car. She was chatty as usual, so I didn't have to say much. Weasley had to go help his mum, so he had gone home already. Hermione sat with me while I waited for my godfather.

Severus was just as harried as this morning, so I told him I would walk. I was sure he was going to see my father, but I felt I should stay behind. If he didn't want to see me, then why should I see him?

Hermione volunteered to walk with me, saying she wanted to talk.

She was quiet for the first few minutes a first, fidgeting. Tuck her curly hair behind one ear, then the other, then re-tuck behind the first ear, adjust her hat. Slowly I found myself getting irritated.

"What is it?"

"Well..." Hermione grimaced slightly. "What are your intentions towards Harry? I didn't want to ask, but Ron wants to know. And I knew I couldn't leave it to him to ask. Well... and..."

It took me a moment understand her rapid-fired words. "Hermione, is this about Blake?" I bundled my own coat tighter around me as a gust of wind blew past.

"Well, yes and no. It's just that... I don't think I should be telling you this, but Harry's been through a lot."

Yeah, no shit. But I didn't say that out loud.

"I- We just need to make sure. Things used to be different, you know, before Blake. Ron and I met Harry when we were little kids. Ron would pick on me and Harry didn't like it, so he would stick up for me. He was so cute back then!" Hermione's face lit up and she reached into her pocket. "Look, here's a picture my parents took," she said as she pulled a picture out of her wallet.

It was Harry, all right. A pre-pubescent be-speckled Harry but she was right, he was a cute kid. I started to hand it back, but Hermione shook her head.

"Keep it, I have others. But as I was saying, Harry was happy back then. We were best friends, even closer than we are now." Hermione looked sad, but continued. "Things started to change when we got to intermediate. Cliques start to form; you're either in or out. You could have known someone your whole life, and then all of a sudden you become strangers." She stopped, obviously remembering the past.

I knew exactly what she was talking about, only I had been on the other side. I had been one of the elite, in the group that ruled the school.

"Harry hates having people look down on him, on anyone. It was bad enough that his parents were dead, but his family doesn't really have a lot of money between one paycheck and two kids." I forget sometimes that they don't know where Harry really lives. "But anyway, in the first year Harry started to get picked on a lot. I didn't know why then, but I think Ron did. He started to, I guess, pull away from Harry. He would make excuses to not be alone with Harry. I didn't figure it out until I heard rumors saying that Harry was gay."

Suddenly I knew exactly where this was going, and clenched my teeth in response. Of course.

Hermione didn't talk for a moment, obviously reliving the bad memories. "I didn't react well. I didn't even let him explain to me and Ron was already not talking to him. After that, Harry found someone else to hang out with, someone who didn't judge him. Louis Blake. I knew he was a bad influence on Harry the moment I caught him and Harry smoking. Who smokes at twelve!? Of course, Harry told me to fuck off and mind my own business, but what else could I do? I was the one who snubbed him, right?" At that, she gave a nervous laugh. "We, Ron and I, stayed friends, then started dating, getting along even without Harry and that was that for a while. Only I really felt sorry for the way things happened and so was Ron, but Harry seemed happy, so we left him alone. It wasn't until we started at Hogwarts that I really started to worry." She readjusted her hair again.

"Blake had already been there for a year, of course. He and Harry were still together, but at that point... even I could tell that things were different. It seemed like Harry was bending over backwards to please him; his glasses disappeared sometime during the summer, I guess. Blake was always all over Harry, you've seen that for yourself, but when Harry was away from him... it looked like he was scarred. But, I didn't really know anything was wrong, so..."

I could tell that she was trying to justify doing nothing. But, again, I didn't same that to her.

"One day, Ron called me; I was in the middle of class, so of course I didn't answer, until I got sent out after he kept ringing me. Ron told me to get to the third floor men's room and quick. I thought he was nuts, but I did it anyway; and there was him and Harry, on the floor. Only Harry was hurt, it was obvious someone had hit him, his face was black and blue." Hermione was close to tears at that point. "He wouldn't say who, but both Ron and I knew. We took him to see Nurse Pomfrey.

"That was what it took, Draco." Suddenly, she looked at me. "After that, we put in more of an effort to be Harry's friends. It took him getting hurt for us to be real friends! And he keeps on getting hurt, but now we're there for him, at least.■

⌠And now, here you are. You're unknown, although I admit I like you better on a bad day than Blake on a good day. Ron likes you better to, he just won't admit it. We're ecstatic that Harry broke up with 'him', but sometimes it seems like Harry has just found someone else to attach himself to. So, I need to make sure. What are you intention towards Harry?" Hermione had stopped walking at that point and just looked at me, tears now falling.  
And I could only say was, "I don't know." 


	15. Chapter 15

After talking to Hermione things slowed down. I could tell that she wasn't happy with my answer, but trusted me enough to leave me alone with Harry. I think she understood that's it's hard to be sure when it comes to Harry.

Harry has continued to be hard to understand. There's a lot he doesn't say, but I can understand that, for now.

I finally got my license, with Severus' help. He said he didn't like me walking, but I think he was afraid I would take my car out again illegally. Harry was actually the first one I told. He was sitting on the front steps when we got home, after another tutoring session. I still have my suspicions about that. Harry is always off afterwards; today was no exception.

He was lost in thought when we pulled up. Harry didn't look up until we were practically standing in front of him.

"Hey!" Although it was clear Harry was still somewhat uncomfortable with Severus, he greeted me easily enough. "How did it go?" It took me a moment to remember that I told him before leaving school.

"Great." I found myself smiling. "It was easy."

The corner of his mouth quirked up at that, "I thought it would be." I thought he was going to kiss me for a moment, but he hesitated. Severus. I looked to see him glaring slightly at Harry.

"Don't stay too long, Potter." Severus opened the front door and disappeared inside.

"Finally," Harry replied before stepping closer, this time giving a real smile. That was when I realized I liked his eyes; I hadn't really looked before. I hadn't seen that color green before, like emeralds. I was snapped out of my thoughts when his lips met mind. We really didn't do that enough, I thought as we parted; mostly it was still just sex with Harry.

After pulling away, I took notice of the bags left on the steps. "What are those for?" Harry had been helping me study for English finals, but those didn't look like books.

"Oh. I almost forgot. I'm making you diner." He went to pick up the bags, and I followed him into the house. "As I said, I knew you would pass. I wanted to do something nice, and Hermione mention making diner. Ron always loves it when she does it for him. I hope you don't mind. I could do something else, if you'd like it better." He seemed really worried for a moment, putting the bags on the kitchen counter.

"No. That sounds great. Not many people have made me diner before." Actually, only Severus had. "What are you making?"

"Shepherd▓s pie, I hope you like it." Harry started to unpack the bags.

"Have not had it before; Need help?"

"Just finding the pans┘"

After helping, Harry sent me to the table. "Thank you, now sit." I had to grin at that. I was beginning having fun with this.

"What if I want to help?" I resisted, but not really wanting to help.

"To bad," Harry went to get started, but I grabbed him before he could. Promptly, he turned in my arms, touching his lips to mind. "After diner," he whispered, and then kissed me again. "Sit."

"Fine," Although I wasn't really upset.

It was only a short while later that it went into the oven and Harry joined me. Moments like this were always uncomfortable, but I tried to not let it show. At least, when we were having sex, Harry usually fell asleep, or left afterwards, making up some excuse to leave. Or I made up a reason for him to leave. But none of those were happening now.

He sat there for a while before finally speaking. "Draco, do you want me. I don't mean sex... I mean, are you interested in me. It's just... not easy to tell sometimes. Sometimes, like now, I think you like me, but other times..."

I wondered, for a moment, if that had been what he was thinking of earlier.

"It's hard for me to answer that. Sometimes, like now, I think I do... like you, but other times... you are a pain in my side. Like when you got me suspended." It was a bit blunt, but it was the truth.

"Oh, sorry," And Harry did genuinely seem sorry. "I was having a bad day, I needed to relax." He shrugged slightly.

"You didn't succeed." I couldn't keep the bite out of my words.

"Yeah, I know. I haven't... smoked it in a while, you know." He grinned.

"At least there's that." I conceded a little.

"It wasn't that serious Draco it was only pot. I never did anything worse, nothing real. I mean, almost, but I haven't." He was still smiling, but I couldn't return it. Almost...

"What happened?" I had to know.

"Louis. He offered me something one time; I don't know what it was, other than they were some pills. He wouldn't tell me." Harry stopped smiling at that. "I asked him to take it with me, but he wouldn't, so I told him no. He tried to play it off, saying that they were some birth control pills he stole from his mother, as a joke, but I didn't believe him. I think if he had swallowed one of those pills I would have taken it with him. After that, who knows?"

"What did you ever see in him?" I couldn't help but ask, after several seconds had gone by.

Harry's expression hardened, instantly. "I told you, he was there for me. Louis was there when I needed someone to talk to, he didn't judge me."

"So he can get you addicted to unknown substances, but since he let you talk to him, Blake was a good boyfriend." I couldn't help but be irritated. This was just stupid!

"I never said he was a good boyfriend! I said he was there! No one else was, Draco." Harry had started to yell, but caught himself. "But it's over now."

"It seems like he wants you back." I couldn't help but point out. Even though I knew Blake hadn't been faithful to Harry.

Harry was quiet for a moment. "I know," He said, not meeting my eye.

"Have you seen him?" I couldn't help but be a little jealous; although I wasn't even sure we were technically together.

"He's come by my apartment a few times." Harry replied, reluctantly. "But nothing happened."

"I don't believe you." Something must have happened.

This was when Harry stood up sharply, causing the chair to scrape on the floor. "You don't believe me? I tell you I haven't been screwing Louis and I haven't. What's your problem?"

"Nothing, I'm not saying you slept with him, but I find it hard to believe that he left without putting up a fuss. Now please calm down before Severus comes back down and kicks you out."

"It's not you would care either way. Am I right? It's not like you ever make an effort to see me; it's always my doing." Instead of sitting, Harry went to check the oven, only a few feet away.

I knew he was moving the conversation from his ex. "It's not like we're in a relationship, 'Potter'."

"Would you like to be?" Harry asked, in the exactly same manner as when he asked me if I wanted to kiss him. My breath instantly caught in throat.

"I don't know. My last... didn't go to well." I said the last part a bit reluctantly.

"Is that why you lied? You know, that time Louis picked a fight with you. You said you weren't gay, but as far as I've seen, you're at peace with that." Harry gave a little smiled at that, causing my own mood to lighten.

"Yeah, that's why I lied." I saw Harry about to ask, so cut him off quickly. "I don't want to talk about it, not now." I knew I was leaving an opening, suggesting that maybe I would tell him at some point.

Harry just nodded. "I think this is almost done. Would you mind getting the plates and everything? Three of them."

I got up to help. "Three?"

"Snape has to eat, doesn't he?"

I had to frown at that. Harry saw my change of expression, but didn't comment. I think he already knew. "I'll take the plate."

We ate in silence, after I took a tray up to my godfather. Of course he had been a bit reluctant to take the plate, after hearing that Harry cooked.

After what was actually a good meal, Harry and I went upstairs, mindful of Severus. I knew that my god father wanted him gone... but I needed this.

As usual, we only kissed for a moment before the clothes were off. Harry was on the bed quickly, waiting for me.

"I love this", he said and my eyes drifted to his lips, remembering my thoughts earlier of kissing him. Harry moaned as my tongue touched his, clearly enjoying this as much as I was.

His hands gripped my waist, rubbing up and down, while I search under my pillow for the lube and condoms I kept there. It was all because of Harry, of course.

However, when I opened the tube, setting out to prepare to boy waiting under me, I was stopped when Harry's mouth pulled away.

"Draco, can I have you?"

And I froze. 


	16. Chapter 16

"Draco, can I have you?"

And I froze. Did he mean... "Harry. Um..." Should I explain to him that I have never let anyone penetrate me? "I-"

I think Harry panicked after I didn't say anything. "You don't have to answer now. It's nothing important." He rambled out, almost to quickly for me to hear.

I questioned if I should leave it at that, not important. That certainly would have been the easy way out. I was about to give a sigh of relief when Harry opened his mouth again.

"It's just that... Will you go out with me?"

There I was, nude, with an equally nude Harry under me, a condom beside his head, a tube of lube in my hand, and my not-quite-boyfriend was asking me out. It came so far out of left field that I almost laughed. Actually I was getting tired, hanging over him, and shifted so I was laying on the mattress beside Harry.

"Don't we already go out. You know, pizza." I couldn't keep a small smirk off my face.

"I meant, just us. Without Ron and Hermione, you know."

'Us'. "Harry there is no us."

I think I hurt him, and felt a slight pang of guilt, but Harry was talking again, before I could apologize.

"I know, Draco. I just want a date, ok." I could see that Harry was tearing, although he had turned his head to hide it.

I had to think for a minute, remembering what Hermione had told me, and Harry's last relationship. Actually, Harry shouldn't be in any more of a hurry than I am to start dating again. But...

"Alright, fine, Harry. I'll go out with you, this once." I quickly added the last part before he got the wrong idea.

"Great! Now, let's get it on." Harry reached back, grabbed the condom and ripped it open.

This time I did outright laugh, as I was happy to oblige him.

hr

The next day Blake cornered me in the parking lot after school.

I should have known, something would happen; Harry had been acting like he was walking on cloud nine all day. Even when we passed Blake in the hall, Harry just grinned and kept talking (I think Weasley's brother was getting married). I couldn't help but be smug.

But, as I said, I should have known that something was coming.

"Stay away from him!" I was proud of myself for not stumbling, when he shoved me.

"What's your problem!" I shoved him back, taking a step towards my car. The others around us had already started chanting 'fight'.

"Harry's mine! He's always been mine!" I ducked as he swung at me.

"Harry says different. He doesn't want you anymore; he said your penis is too small. He wants a man, not a infant." I taunted as we circled each other.

"I'll show you a man." Blake spat.

I barely had time to enjoy his face turning red, when I found felt my body hit the pavement. iShit./i Quickly, I righted myself, just in time for him to land a punch on my face. I swung back at him, connecting, but it wasn't enough. I knew I was outmatched when my head hit the pavement, and my vision grayed. I wanted to get back up, managed to roll, but soon a boot in my gut caused the breathe to rush out of my lungs. Before I could get in a breathe, I felt another kick, this one to my ribcage.

This went on for what felt like forever, until I heard sirens. Suddenly, the attack stopped, but I still felt pain in more places than I could place.

"Stay still." I heard a voice and started to open my eyes when I felt my body being lifted. I felt pain the moment my eyes opened, causing them to snap shut.

"My eyes..."

"You may have a concussion." The voice told me.

"Head hurts..." I think my brain was floating. I could feel my brain moving... and pain.

"I can tell." The man chuckled, and I felt a jolt then heard a slam.

Then I think I passed out.

hr

I woke to more bright light, but this time it only caused my eyes to water. Besides that I felt nothing.

Slowly, I opened them again looking up at the florescent lights. I decided I hate florescent lights.

"You're awake." I looked over to see Severus. A very blurry Severus.

"You aren't clear." I mumbled, causing the man to give a short laugh.

"You have a mild concussion." He pulled up a chair to the bed. "Are you awake this time?"

"...Think so. What happened."

"You were in fight. Again." Of course, Severus had to be pissed. Again.

"I almost had him. I just landed on my head." Yeah, right.

"Lucky for you, the other students confirmed you struck him in self-defense. Mr. Blake has been suspended. Draco, I told y-"

"Don't say it. Don't blame Harry this."

Severus' black eyes narrowed. "You can't deny that if you never got involved in him, this would not have happened. You are my responsibility and I can't keep you out of the hospital. This is the second fight you've been in."

That was when I realized he was feeling guilty. "It's not your fault. Blake's an asshole."

"Language, Draco." But I could tell he didn't really mean it.

"Have you told my parents?" I could only sum up the energy to be slightly alarmed.

"Yes, your mother has been calling every ten minutes, and Lucius was removed from the room, for calling the doctor incompetent, among other things. He's in the waiting room. With Granger, Weasley... and Potter."

If I wasn't numb from medication, I probably would have jumped up and started yelling. "Fuck."

"Language, Draco. Although, I agree with the sentiment." My god-father did look moderately alarmed.

"I should get the doctor to examine you again." Severus uttered, moving to stand.

"I feel fine." Although, that was probably the morphine.

"I'm getting the doctor. Your father has been breathing down my neck for this." Severus winced as he said the last bit.

I started to tell him it wasn't his fault again, but he was already out the door.

It was only several minutes later that the doctor came, by which time I was more or less clear headed. She, Dr. Granger, quickly checked me over, confirming that I had a concussion, along a cracked rib. The rest were mostly just bruises and cuts.

"You're lucky you don't have any internal bleeding. It could have been a lot worse. You should be out of here in a couple days. As is it, try not to make any sudden moments, you did hit your head very hard. And try not to breathe in to deeply until your ribs have healed." Dr. Granger made a few notes.

"I feel fine." I muttered.

"You won't feel that way once you're sober." The doctor joked.

"You wouldn't by any chance be related to Hermione Granger, by any chance." I hadn't met either of her parents. Although, I could see that this woman had the same bushy hair.

"Yes. My daughter has told my many things about you." I could only hope by her smile that she had heard good things. "I'm surprised I haven't met you yet, but I guess it's a teenage thing. Can't introduce me to her friends anymore."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say.

"Well I've met you now. I'm sure your... father," Dr. Granger made an irritated face, "will be proud to know you'll be in great shape in no time. Just no more fights for you." The bushy haired woman smiled, made one more note on her clipboard before speaking again. "You have one hour for visitors. I recommend no more than one at a time; you are still healing. I don't want anyone exciting you. So, who would you like?"

I couldn't help blush at her words, remembering that Harry was in the waiting room. "My father. Is there something I can read though?" I suddenly wanted to be busy when he came.

"Very well." She smiled again before leaving the room, only to come back moments late, handing me a paperback; Emily Dickinson. Of course, she couldn't have brought anything I would actually be interested in.

I was glad for the drip in my arms; otherwise I would have been stiff with fear. As it were, I was gripping the pages. Maybe I should have asked for Severus to come back, or Granger, Harry... hell maybe even Weasley. Any of them would be better. Except I knew I had to get this over with. Besides, I had no reason to be afraid. It had been my father who was being a hypocrite. He was the one who refused to see me, the one who had run rather than deal with deal with his son. Severus was right, my father was a child.

Just as I had managed to summon up the right amount of righteous anger, I heard the door creak. Instantly I put my head down, wincing slightly.

I glanced up, just long enough to see that my father appeared a bit pale, almost the same color as the white-blond hair that I myself had inherited. However, it might have just been due to the lighting. He was dressed more casually than usual, though, which was odd.

"Draco?" I think his voice wavered. This was the first time I heard him sound that way.

"Lucius." Ok, it may have been spiteful, but he deserved it. I turned a page.

"I'm still your father." He looked the same as he often looked, indignant.

"You haven't been my father in six months." How dare he say he's still my father! "At least mother has made an effort."

"I... I am your father." But this time he, Lucius, seemed to be confirming it to himself, as he sank into the chair that Severus had vacated. "I wanted to make sure you were alright." The man said with more confidence this time.

"I'm alright, just bruised. I think I have a head-ache; this is some really good stuff." I lifted my arm, showing him the needle jammed up it. "I surprisingly don't really feel anything, just after being thrashed hours ago. As you can see, I'm just fine. You can leave again; no need to worry." I pretended to still be trying to read, but I couldn't help but look up to see my father's face.

He had turned red at my words, but visibly held his tongue. "Draco, what do I need to do for you to call me father again?"

I was shocked to see that his eyes were red and moist. He was really upset.

"You can start by acting like one. Like before you found out I was gay and got jealous." I finally put the book down and looked him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry."

We were both silent for a minute, the only sound coming from the heart monitor.

"Why did you do it, everything? Why did you marry my mother, date her, if you were with Severus? You hurt her, you know." I couldn't help glaring at him.

"I know, that's why I married her. My parents wanted me to get a girlfriend; they had suspicions that I was... having relations with my college roommate, it was a men only school, you understand. Anyway, I was told I wouldn't inherit anything if I didn't marry a woman. I panicked; I admit that at the time money was more important to me. So, I started publicly dating the daughter of a family friend, Narcissa Black, who coincidently was a cousin of Severus'... They knew each other, although barely. I really was blind back then. But, I've been blind most my life." My father covered his eyes with one hand, slightly slumped in the chair.

"I fooled myself into thinking he understood, that he wanted me to inherit. He would be the lover a rich man. Severus' family never did have money and I failed to realize that it didn't matter to him. I had both Severus and Narcissa, in bed and out, of course keeping my relationship with Severus a secret. Until one day, Narcissa went to see her doctor. She was always going to the doctor, paranoid that she may have gotten tetanus from a paper cut, or something or another; the only thing that woman ever really had was low blood pressure. So it wasn't out of the ordinary for her to go by herself. If not fretting, then Narcissa was generally shopping, as you already know. Severus came over, he tended to spend days he wasn't substituting, at our house. We were in the bedroom..."

"Please, in as little detail as possible." I couldn't help but interrupt, stopping him before my father gave me mental imagery that I honestly didn't want.

"Children." My father shook his head with mock indulgence. "As you wish. We were in the bedroom, doing what we usually do. Honestly, your making me cut out the good part."

"I can do without the good part, Lucius." I added his name to show him things still weren't ok between us, causing him to sober instantly.

He nodded, clinching his jaw. "Narcissa walked in on us. I think she didn't know what to do. She just walked in, looked at us, and stopped in the doorway. Then Narcissa said she was pregnant and fainted. I had to marry her, Draco." My father looked me in the eyes. "I couldn't give you up. And after that, I stayed away from Severus for years. This hard for me to admit, but I loved him. At first, I think it was only sex, but, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder." Lucius got a faint smile on his face. "However, as your grandparents still live, I will be living on very little soon. I'm sure they have been alerted of my infidelity."

But there was one think I had to know. "Did you ever cheat on my mother while you were married?" I asked, although I feared I knew the answer anyway.

"No, but I did not give up communication with Severus. I couldn't, not completely. Although, I did manage to hold off until recently."

Recently. "As in the last two years?" Lucius nodded. I couldn't help but remember what Severus had told me. He had been going through a weak moment and allowed himself to be seduced by Harry, which I still couldn't wrap my head around. It had to have been because of my father. "What did you say to him, that first time?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business, Draco."

"It sure as hell is my business, father! It affects my life." In more ways than he knew.

"You aren't to old too be tossed over my knee," the blond man mumbled before continuing. "I told Severus that I loved him."

"But you never actually saw him until this year." I wheedled, trying to know everything.

"Yes. I told him I had to stay with Narcissa, the mother of my son. I tried to tell him I loved him and I still wanted a physical relationship. Draco, I stayed away from the man I loved for sixteen years. I wanted to see him again, is that so hard to understand?" My father stood abruptly. "You are my son, but I will not stick around to be judged." And then he was gone.

Did I miss my last chance with my father? Was he leaving again? I didn't know I was tearing until I saw it hit the book still held in my hands. 


	17. Chapter 17

I fell asleep soon after my father left. I think a nurse came to check on me, but I'm not sure. I don't think I slept well. I remember waking several times, so by the time morning came around my head ache had grown.

My head was pounding by the time Dr. Granger came in.

"How are you?" She said, as she checked all the equipment.

"Awful. My head hurts, I ache and I'm bored." I couldn't help glaring at the woman.

"Didn't like the reading material?" But her grin suggested she didn't even really have to ask. "I'll try to find something else, although there aren't many choices. Now, last night I lowered your dosage, which is probably why you aren't feeling well. I'll tell the nurse to start giving you Tylenol with your next meal. Congratulations, no more drip." Dr. Granger grinned, reminding me greatly of her daughter.

"So, when will I be out?" Her cheerful manner wasn't catching.

"Gloomy today, aren't you? You can leave this afternoon. I just wanted to keep you an extra night, in case of internal bleeding, or any other complications. That was some fight; wasn't it?"

Yeah, considering I lost, I grumbled to myself. "He got his." He deserved to be expelled, not suspended!

"What was it over, if you don't mind me asking? It's just that sometimes patients have the most interesting stories." And Dr. Granger did pull up a chair, clearly read to listen.

"My lover's ex-boyfriend doesn't like me." I did mind her asking. I really wanted to put the whole incident behind me.

"Oh, well that's not very interesting." And she did seam mildly put out.

"My boyfriend's ex wants to fucking kill me. Is that any better?" I hissed.

Dr. Granger was quiet for a moment, then I remembered. Hermione hadn't said anything to her mother about me. So, chances were, she wouldn't have told her mother that two of her friends are gay or anything about Harry. "I'm sorry."

The woman seemed to compose herself. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn't have been nosy."

She left the room quickly. I actually did feel kind of bad, Hermione had put an effort into making friends with me, and I opened up a bomb on her mother.

Wait. Did I say Harry was my boyfriend?

Anyway, sure enough I did get some Tylenol later. It was nauseating watching them remove the needle from my arm. I know I didn▓t have to watch, but I couldn▓t help it. At least I was feeling better after that.

Severus came by after school got out.

"Your homework is waiting for you to get home." He said first thing.

"You don't miss me? The house must feel awfully empty." I had to tease him slightly.

"While you are remarkably unobtrusive, you have been... missed." I could tell that it did make him uncomfortable to admit it.

"So what happened yesterday with my father?" Would he be coming back?

"He's staying at the house, now." Severus seemed relieved. I felt my heart jump; at the house?

"Where was he before? Renting a room?"

Severus nodded. "Draco, do you hate me?"

I was genuinely confused. "Why would I hate you?"

"Your parents are divorcing. If I never met your father..."

I never really thought about what this must have been like for him, what my father had put him though. "Do you love him?"

"Yes. More than I thought possible." Severus went to window so I couldn't see his face.

"Then no, mostly I'm pissed with him." And I intended to stay pissed for a while. He deserved it.

"I've heard. He's sore that you've started to call him 'Lucius'. He isn't used to people crossing him. It's refreshing." Severus' voice sounded amused.

I couldn't help but enjoy the moment, just thinking. The only black thought was that I would have to face my father tonight.

"Potter's here too." Severus inserted, begrudgingly. "Thanks to you, he's been bugging me to see you."

"Does father know about me and Harry?" With father at the house, it probably meant Harry and I would be going back to his place, for now.

"I haven't told him; that's up to you. Although, I'm sure he'll find out if you two can't keep quiet. You've given me several head-aches with all the moaning and groaning coming from your room." My god-father sneered at that last bit before continuing. "You are using condoms, correct?" His eyes met mine, until I answered.

"Yes, of course." I answered calmly, although I felt my face flame. I hadn't thought about Severus being right down the hall.

"Is Harry coming with us?" I suddenly realized I did miss his company, sort of, although it had only been two days. But, what about my father? Should I explain to him or just let him put the pieces together? I could just tell him that Harry was just a friend, but I knew that I should just come out with it. Keeping secrets had never done me any good. Besides, it wasn't like I hadn't already come out of the closet.

"If you wish" although, I could tell he wanted to say no.

"He will come, but I won't make a big deal about it. If my father asks, I'll tell him the truth." I wasn't too keen on introducing my father to Harry, but I would.

hr

I was released, with a warning to take it easy. My ribs were still sore, but my headache was mostly gone.

Harry joined us, while I filled out the paperwork. I sat with him, while Severus paid.

"I'm glad you're alright." Harry said, but other than fidgeting, he was quiet. I figured he had something on his mind, but I didn't question him.

"We're heading back to the house, are you coming?" I realized this was only the second time I had actually invited Harry over. He usually just showed up.

"Do you want me there? I mean... after what Louis did. I should have gone home, but I wanted to make sure you were alright." Harry words were rushed, but I could tell that he was worried.

i What's Harry▓s problem? /i "Harry-"

Severus interrupted before I could say anything, "It's time to leave boys."

I could see that Harry was going walk away, once we got out the building. I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the car, but Harry resisted.

"I'm injured, and it's cold out here. Are you really going to fight me?" I asked, knowing Harry wouldn't. As expected, Harry stopped pulling away and got in the back seat. Instead of getting in the front seat, I climbed in the back with him.

"You should have just let me go." Harry hissed.

"We need to talk, when we're alone. Besides I need to get caught up on homework and I want company." And I wouldn't be alone with my father.

Severus turned on the radio to drown us out.

"Draco, I'm not in any classes with you, besides English. There's not much I could help with."

"Then think of it as getting ahead. Next year it won't be new to you." I was having fun irritating Harry.

"It's not as if I'll understand any of it."

"You're smart enough, Potter, I'm sure you'll get it in no time."

"Fine," Harry ignored me for the rest of the ride, but I think I caught a smile before he turned away.

hr

I expected my father to be there when we got to the house, but he wasn't.

"He must have had a bit of business to handle." Severus said, locking the door. I couldn't help but wonder if he was disappointed. If Severus was, his face didn't show it.

"We'll go get some work done." I said, before Harry and I headed up stairs.

"You know, I really could go home. I mean, you aren't feeling well and everything, so I can leave." Harry spoke from the doorway.

"You worked so hard to get into my bed, now you're chickening out." I grinned slyly as Harry flushed. "Besides, I've been ordered to rest, and I think that includes abstaining from anything that causes heavy breathing. So, were really are just working. What's with you anyway?" I spotted my work on the desk in the corner and grabbed it.

"I just figured you wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. It would get Louis off your back, you know." Harry shrugged, although he still hadn't moved.

"Harry, shut up and get over here." I was tired of telling people it wasn't their fault.

Harry and I worked for an hour before I heard the door open down stairs. He's home.

Father had a key, so he really must be staying a while, not just a few nights. I didn't know how I felt about that.

I was completely still as I heard him come up the stairs.

"Draco? Severus?" He called at the top of the stairs.

"In here." But I still remembered yesterday, although I had been somewhat out of it, so I couldn't help but be nervous.

"Draco- Oh you're here." My father frowned slightly when he was Harry sitting on the bed with me, although he had a book in his hands, trying to figure out a problem.

"I was just going." Harry started to get up, but my father shook his head dismissively, motioning for Harry to remain.

"I just need to talk to my son for a moment."

"I'll be back in a minute." I told Harry, getting up.

After joining my father in the hall, I closed the door behind me. I could tell that he wanted to say about Harry and I waited a moment, but he said nothing.

"I went to your school today, to see the headmaster."

I had to suppress a groan. I could only imagine what it would be like going back to class.

"Did you have to?" I wasn't whining. Really, I wasn't.

"That boy assaulted you. Mr. Blake should have been expelled, not suspended. I'm thankful he was at least arrested."

"You didn't have to go to my school! You could have just called, or something." I didn't want to be the guy whose parents had to get him out of every scrape.

"I have every right to go to your school."

My father's indignant look told I was getting nowhere. "Never mind; what happened? Is he expelled?" I hoped Blake would be. Asshole.

"Not yet. Dumbledore says starting a fight isn't enough reason to expel the rat. 'A student should have every opportunity at an education.'" My father sneered at the last words, which I knew had to have come from Dumbledore.

There were other reasons to have him kicked out, but I doubted Harry would speak up about the abuse.

"So, now what?"

"I will find a reason to have him expelled. No one hurts my son, like that."

I was touched, and slightly embarrassed, by his words. It reminded me of when he would stick up for me when I was younger and smaller than the other kids. He wasn't off the hook for being absent for the past few months, but it was a step in the right direction.

"You have a boyfriend." My father stated his face blank.

"I guess so. So do you, Lucius." I pointed out, challenging him.

"You're right, I do." He looked uncertain for a moment. "I have a boyfriend."

I didn't really think it had sunk in for my father that he was gay yet. "Need help? If you want to talk about it, I'm here." I sincerely hoped he said no, but I wanted to at least ask.

My father shook his head. "No, I'm fine. I'm trying Draco, I really am." He squeezed my shoulder, before entering Severus' room down the hall.

My last hope was that I wasn't going to get mentally scarred for life that night. 


	18. Chapter 18

"I don't think your father likes me." Harry said when I came back into the room.

"I didn't expect him to. He just found out I'm gay." I said, returning to my spot on the bed.

Harry looked surprised for a moment. "But I thought... him and your god-father. I mean, they seem like they're... together or something, from what I can tell."

"It's confusing." I stated, looking back at my homework.

"You never want to talk anything." Harry sounded mildly irritated.

"What's there to talk about?" Why wouldn't he drop it?

"There's stuff, you never tell me anything about yourself."

"And I don't know much about you." I dropped my paper and looked at Harry. "I know you were in an abusive relationship and your parents are dead, but nothing else."

"Well..." He way his eyes kept shifting away from mine told me there was something he wasn't saying.

"See? You want me to talk to you without giving anything up. It won't work." I kissed him before he could reply. "You've got your date, now leave the rest." I said, before pulling completely away. "Besides, when is this 'date' supposed happen?"

"But, you're still injured. Shouldn't we wait?" He frowned.

"I'll be fine by the end of the week. Besides, I'm curious about where you're taking me." I was joking on the last part, knowing that I would probably be paying, I wasn't about to let Harry use the little money he had, however I was taken seriously.

"Well, the fair is town. It seemed like fun. I know you've probably been on better dates, but... it was what I could afford. And we already see movies and go eat, so I wanted to pick something different."

"You know you don't have to pay; I'll get it." But, the look on Harry's face was insistent.

"I want to do this; alright?" Harry wasn't budging on the subject.

"Why does this mean so much to you? It would be easier for me to pay." But, of course, he couldn't do this the easy way.

"It just... with Louis I had no control. I needed something; he took care of it, without giving me the option to do it myself. He made all the decisions. He paid for everything. He told me to do something, I did it. So, I just want to be able to do something, for once." Harry pleaded with me.

"Fine Harry, you pay," I sighed. It's not as if it was that important, anyway.

"Thanks." Harry grinned. "That's all I wanted."

I snorted. "That's not all you want, that just all you can get."

"Close enough." He shrugged, and then glanced at the window. "It's getting dark out, I should leave; especially with your father here."

I just nodded, although, for a moment, I thought of letting him stay the night. "Is Blake still making a nuisance of himself?"

Harry's grimace was answer enough. "I've kept him out so far, but he isn't happy about it. I changed the lock, but.... It's safe enough, I guess." He pulled on his coat, which barely looked thick enough to break the wind. Picking up his bag, Harry walked to the door. He looked dejected, worried.

"One second." I said, getting up.

"Did I forget something?" Harry looked around.

"Just this," I picked up my coat and put it on Harry, then kissed him. "Stay warm, Potter." I replied, smirking.

I had to do something, and I guessed that that was right thing when I saw Harry flush slightly. "Thanks." He answered. "But, I can't ta…"

"Go, before I take it back, its cold as hell out there." I said while pushing him out of the room. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," Harry was still smiling. "See you, tomorrow." Then he walked down the steps to let himself out.

I wondered, briefly, if I was getting his hopes up, but dismissed the thought.

Most of my work was done, so I went down after few more minutes to watch TV.

* * *

Things went fairly smooth from then on. I finally assured my mother that I was fine; I was barely feeling any leftover pain after a couple more days, not even a headache.

I was even passing English. I only had a C in the class and still had to take the final, however, I felt confident it would go well. Well enough, at least.

Then only thing I was unsure about was my father. Between my father and me, it was decent. We talked. I usually found him drinking coffee in the kitchen, after riding in the car with Severus and me, while Severus went grade papers. We didn't talk about anything important, during those moments, but our relationship was moving closer to the way it had been before I came out. The three of us often had meals together; it made me feel guilty, thinking of how my mother had no one. At least she wasn't attempting to cook for herself anymore. I decided I should call more often.

What was awkward was that I could tell that something was... off, between my father and Severus. It took me a while to realize it, that they were acting the way parents used to, when I thought everything was fine. Now that I knew better, it was just too perfect. They were polite and amiable, but nothing more. They never touched; I had more interaction with Harry. They never talked, besides asking how the other's day went. It wasn't the behavior of two people who supposedly loved each other.

This went on for a couple more days, before I had gotten enough. "What's going on?" I caught my father when he was getting his coffee.

"With what?" He replied, taking a sip. Unlike Severus, my father never added anything, preferring to drink it black.

"You and Severus; what's going on?" I asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He started leave, obviously avoiding the question, but I stepped in front of him. "Draco, move." He glared at me, but it was nothing compared to the looks I've seen him given other people.

"No. Not until you tell me."

"I don't have to tell you anything."

"You are going through a divorce with my mother and now it seems to happening again."

"That's preposterous. As Severus and I can't get married, we cannot get divorce." Although, my father's face betrayed nothing, I caught a hint of what the problem was.

"You aren't cheating on him, are you?" I asked as my eyebrows went up.

My father choked on his coffee for a moment, "No, of course not!"

"Then he's worried you'll leave him again; isn't he? For a woman."

"Yes," he said quietly.

"Well, why don't you do something? Prove that you want him."

"Draco, please drop it. It's going to take some time before Severus trusts me again. And I deserve it."

"But, you can do something."

"Draco...."

"What? Fine," I lifted my hands up exasperation. "Don't say I didn't try to help."

"Well, I don't need help." Instead of leaving the kitchen, my father took a seat at the kitchen table, leaning back in the chair, mug still in hand. "But, if you want to talk, why don't we talk about you, my dear son." There was a decidedly devious smile on his. "What of this kid you're seeing, this Harry Potter? What about his family?"

"Father...." I could help but groan.

"Sit." He pointed to chair across from him. "You started this, now I want to talk. Inquiring minds would like to know what type of... boy could attract my son."

"Well, we go to school together," I stated uncomfortably.

"Surely, there's more than that. Severus states that you've been infatuated with Mr. Potter for months."

He knows I don't want to talk about this, I thought while I turned pink. Severus must have put him up to it. And here I was trying to be nice and help!

"There's nothing to know. I know him from school. We've hung out a few times. He tutored me for a while; still is, kind of."

"What attracted you to him? Why him?" My father folded his hands on the table, waiting on my answer.

"I... don't know. I guess he's cute."

"Aw, a pretty face. That explains it all."

"It's not just that...." But I didn't know what else. "I guess it's because I've never met anybody like Harry. Most people are predictable. Harry isn't." I shrugged. And I like to see him smile.

"I see." He frowned slightly. "He seemed very worried about you, when you were hurt."

"I don't know, I guess he cares about me. Anyway, we are going out tonight."

"Where to?"

"A fair, Harry wants to go." When I was still at my other school, they never would have gone to something as plebeian as a fair, so I hadn't been to one since I was a kid. I was actually looking forward to it. Although I did hope it wouldn't be to cold.

"How... quaint. I'm sure it will be fun."

"It will be." I said, sounding more sure than I really was.

"Hm... Maybe I'll take Severus out after all. We'll both have fun tonight." My father got up, putting his empty mug in the sink.

"Father, aren't you forgetting something." I taunted him, and was rewarded when he turned back to the sink scowling.

"I could make you wash it." He muttered, still staring at the abandoned mug.

"Then you would never learn how to do it yourself." I stated, pushing my chair in. I had to go get ready.

"Brat," my father called behind me.

The sink was miraculously empty by the time I came back down.


	19. Chapter 19

I was watching the TV when Severus came down, with my father in tow.

"Wow, fancy." I replied, from where I was lounging on the couch. Both were dressed rather nicely, not that my father didn't usually, but I had begun to see a more casual side to him recently. Severus had chosen to dress in black turtleneck with pants to match, while my father had chosen a white button down.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" Severus replied, scowling and obviously trying to not blush.

"No, I am waiting on Harry."

"Do you need any money, Draco?" My father asked, already pulling out his wallet. "You could win your boy a prize or something like that."

I started to say no, but changed my mind. A little more couldn't hurt, just in case. "Sure." I said, taking the money. "Where are you going?"

"Dinner," Father said simply.

Severus' face said something different. If anything his blush worsened.

"And..."

Severus was quick to cut him off. "Just dinner and I think we should be leaving now." He went to grab his coat and keys. "Lucius are you driving or am I?"

"I'll drive. You will just have to sit back and enjoy yourself, Sev." Lucius grinned.

It occurred to me that my father looked really happy. So did Severus, although he was trying to hide it.

"We are leaving, aren't we?" Severus muttered, before opening the door, almost jumping when he saw Harry on the other side. "And what are you doing skulking about outside my door, Potter? Never mind…" And then Severus was gone, leaving behind a bemused looking Harry.

"Hello Mr. Potter." My father greeted him.

"What's with Severus?" I couldn't help but ask, both amused and confused by his behavior, which was more erratic than usual.

My father waited a moment. I was guess to see if my god-father was coming back in. "It's just dinner really. And I told him I want to go salsa dancing. It's just this small place I saw. I'm trying something new." He sounded almost defensive when he said the last part.

My father? Salsa dancing? Those to thoughts did not compute and I knew my jaw had probably dropped.

"Have a good time boys. Don't stay out to late, Draco. You know your curfew is back?" He looked pointedly at me.

"Curfew?" I sat up, outraged. "I haven't had a curfew this whole time! No, I don't need a curfew." I looked at Harry, looking for help. He only gave me a 'what do you want me to do' look.

"I just want you to be safe, Draco." In the past I probably would have just said ok. I would have stayed out late anyway, but I wouldn't have directly gone against my father.

"I'll be fine. I don't need a curfew. But I won't be out to late." I conceded. "I'll be fine."

"Nothing had better happen to my son." Lucius stared down Harry before leaving.

"I told you, your father doesn't like me." Harry stated, after the door closed.

"He likes you just fine." I got up. Now that everyone else was gone, I found that I was nervous. Technically, this was our first date, just me and him. Not hanging just out.... Not just screwing around. "Potter... Harry, can I tell you something?"

Harry looked unsure for a moment, which was understandable. "Yes...." He said hesitantly.

"I have never really dated anyone. I have had one boyfriend. His name was Blaise Zabini. I never told anyone I was with him. We were mates, everyone knew it, but not that we were lovers. We had been sort of flirting since intermediate school, lovers since we were old enough to know sex was. He wanted to tell everyone, but I was afraid. I was afraid of what our friends would think. I was king." I said simply. Harry still looked worried, probably wondering why I was telling him this.

"I was Draco fucking Malfoy, heir to a massive fortune, if my grandparents don't disown both me and my father. They're very old fashioned, you understand. But, to get back to the point. I was afraid of what everyone would think of me. I had a new girlfriend every week, so nobody would notice I was different.

"Blaise, on the other hand wasn't a stranger to being different. He was new money; people knew his mother had had several rich husbands. It was even rumored she killed his father, although Blaise was sure it wasn't true. Not to mention, some, although very few, had issues with his color. Still, he felt it was better to just have everything out in the open. He hated that I wouldn't kiss him or even acknowledged our relationship unless we were alone. So, of course, we never went one any dates. Congratulations, you're the first to take the great Draco Malfoy out on a real date." I didn't exactly smile, but my lips did quirk up a bit.

Harry started to talk, but I held up a hand. "I'm not done yet. I not repeating this, so let me finish." This was the first time I told anyone.

"As I said, he wanted to come out. I didn't. Blaise then decided to wait until there was an assembly. And he stood up in his chair and told everyone that he was gay. That he had a boyfriend."

I stopped to watch Harry's reaction and he did look like he wanted to say something, but quickly shut his mouth.

"I think Blaise expected me to get up and join him, but instead I called him a queer and that I wished I never had met him. I said, in front of everyone, that it made me sick to be near him. He should kill himself, and rid us of his presence.

"He just stared at me as he was removed from the room, and I knew I couldn't take it back. You can never really take back something like that. Then Blaise was gone. I never saw him again. I finally got up the nerve to phone him a few days later. His mother answered. She told me to never call again. She said a few more things, but none of that matter. She also told me he was dead. He had killed himself; left a letter and everything."

I was doing my best to keep my face blank when Harry spoke. "There was probably more going on. I doubt he did it because...."

"He did. In his letter, Blaise wrote 'what Draco Malfoy wants, Draco Malfoy gets. I love you'. So there, I talked; you can't bug me about it anymore. Now let's get this date over with." I knew I was being harsh. Harry hadn't done anything to warrant my attitude, but I need to let it out. I had been holding it all in for too long....

I expected for Harry to say something more, but just followed me silently and got into the car.

* * *

We got there fairly quickly. Harry didn't open his mouth the whole time, until we reached the parking lot, stopping me before I got out the car.

"Wait. Let's go back."

"Go back? What are you talking about?" I asked him. Actually, Harry was looking somewhat peaked, now that I paying attention. "Are you ok?"

"Fine, but you should have your first date with your boyfriend, someone you care about. Not me. You should go somewhere better than fair, like a nice restaurant, or something. I really do want to go out with you; it's just-"

I shut him up with a kiss.

Before it became a full blown make-out session, I pulled. "I've already been telling people you are my boyfriend. Do you want to make me a liar?" I stared at him.

"No."

"Good." I leaned in slightly, until his lips were touching mine. "So get out of the car." And I got out.

It took him a moment to catch up, fiddling with his seat belt; "Took you long enough Potter."

"Shut up." He muttered, walking past me.

"That's my line."

I waited while he bought the tickets, noticing there were several people from Hogwarts hanging about. It made sense, I guess; it was a Friday, the last before finals.

"So what now?" I asked when Harry was finished.

"Let's go on that." Harry pointed, causing my eyes to follow his finger. I felt the blood fall from my face.

"A free fall! You've got to be kidding." That thing had to be over 50 feet high!

"It looks like fun to me." Harry shrugged. "Ok, how about something smaller. What about that?" This time it was a little better, barely.

"I'm going to be sick." But I followed him anyway.

And I was nauseous, by the time we got off, thankful to get my feet on stable ground.

"Do you want to go do something else?" Harry look at me guiltily. "There's games and first aid."

"I'll be fine. Let's go play games." I tossed my arm around his shoulders.

Mostly I stood back, watching Harry play. I didn't mind; he looked like he was having fun.

He turned to face me, with a full smile that caused my breath to catch. "Draco, don't you want to try. You just have to hit the target with the ball.

I started to say no, but then gave in to his merriment. "Sure." I played the man behind the booth and received the first ball.

"Ok, move back behind the line and throw." The man told me.

I did and tossed the first ball. It went wide.

"That's ok. You get another one." Harry said, going to get a new ball.

I tried again. It hit the edge of the target, causing the man to smirk.

Ok, third ball.

I missed. The man laughed and I flushed. Now, it was personal.

"It's ok." Harry told me, already starting to move to the next booth.

"No. I will hit the target."

More balls. And more misses.

"Try to visualize hitting the target," the man chided.

"Really, it's fine if you don't get the prize, Draco." Harry tried telling me, but I wasn't listening.

"One more," I told him. One more until I got it....

I held the ball in my fist. I had to get it. As soon as it left my fingers I felt it was going to fall short. But it didn't.

"And we have a winner. Pick a prize."

I turned to Harry. "Go ahead and pick."

"What?"

The confused look was just adorable enough that I had to kiss him, ignoring the gagging vendor. "The prize is for you," I answered.

Quickly, Harry ran over to the stall, picking a lion. "Thank you," he said quietly, holding the toy close.

We walked around for a while after that, playing a couple more games, and then getting food.

Things were going great until a guy bumped into Harry, clearly drunk. Harry tried to move away, and, although I was irritated, I figured the guy would just stumble off. I was wrong.

He pressed Harry into the table, grabbing his crotch. And he was doing a very messy job of trying to thrust him tongue down Harry's throat.

I jumped up, shoving the guy into the dirt.

"What's your problem?" He yelled.

"What's your problem?" I replied, waiting for him to get up.

"Let's go." Harry started to pull me away.

"Not until this fucker tell me what he was doing feeling you up." I glared at the guy who was struggling to get up.

Harry continued to pull me away. "It doesn't matter," he pleaded. "He's too drunk to give a straight answer anyway."

I knew Harry was right, but I didn't want to listen. How dare he put his hands on Harry!

"Let's just leave him." Harry gave me one last tug away from the scene, before I let him pull me away.

It was a while before I calmed down again, by which point Harry had gotten me on a Ferris wheel, probably to keep me from going back.

I put my arm around Harry, pulling him close. I guess it was the right thing to do, since he moved closer, laying his head on my shoulder.

After a while, I noticed I was starting to feel a bit damp. I looked down and saw that Harry was crying. Not subs, just the occasional tear.

I pulled him closer.

"I'll take care of you." I said, but apparently it was the wrong thing to say, since Harry tensed and pulled away slightly.

"I'm fine. I don't need taking care of." Harry was trying to sound confident, but then he reached up to wipe new tears.

Then I remembered what Harry had told me about Blake. Harry wanted to be equals.

"I'll be there for you. Can I do that," I asked.

"Yeah," He smiled, slightly.

We sat there for a while longer, before Harry leaned back against me.

For the rest of the ride, I held him.


	20. Chapter 20

We sat there, not moving, until the ride ended. I think neither one of us wanted the moment to end, but we both knew it had to.

I didn't want it to end, but I was afraid to admit that I was possibly moving on. Leaving my memory of Blaise behind....

Maybe it was a good thing; why shouldn't I get on with my life?

We didn't talk as we walked to the entrance of the fair. It had gotten to cold to do anything else; that much was obvious by the way Harry clutched his coat, formerly mine, to him. I held his lion.

I was reaching for my keys as we had reached the entrance when I spotted someone leaning against the gate. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Harry freeze.

Blake.

I considered turning around and finding a different entrance.

No, I couldn't let him dictate my life. I wouldn't walk all the way around to opposite side of the fair, just to avoid the bastard.

Although, I had convinced myself to go forward, I continued to hope that he would not notice us as we passed.

I thought we'd made it passed when Blake called out to Harry, walking closer.

"Just ignore him." I muttered, but Harry had stopped moving.

"Harry, I've finally caught you." Blake sneered, at the shorter boy.

"Leave him alone." I spoke up.

"I'm not speaking to you. I'm talking to Harry." His voice is oddly pleasant, for a change, but his eyes betrayed him. "Harry, you know I love you. So why are you doing this?"

"Louis... I-" Harry started but I interrupted him.

"He's moved on. Get over it." I could only hope that my words were true. I wanted Harry for myself.

"I would like to hear what Harry wants."

Harry, please don't fall for this stupid act, I thought. But I could see that Harry was hesitating.

"Louis, I'm sorry, but I can't be with you anymore." Harry started to walk away, but again, Blake called out.

"You know Malfoy is going to leave you when he finds out why you're with him."

I spine went as stiff as a rod.

"You wouldn't...." Harry looked stricken, his eyes wide with what looked like fear. "Don't!"

"I never said I play nice, Harry. I get what I want and if you don't do as I say, I'm telling him all about you." Blake had dropped the nice act, but obviously still trying to get Harry to his side.

"Now be a good boy and come to daddy." Blake mocked him.

Harry didn't say anything for a moment, and I had to wonder. What did Blake have on Harry?

"I can't!" Harry yelled, once he had pulled himself together. "I can't be with you. I'll get you the money, but I can't go with you."

"You fucking slut." I could practically see his eyes glow with rage. "I gave you everything, and this is how you repay me. Harry, you wouldn't have anything without me."

"Louis, please...." Harry was saying, but I barely heard him over Blake ranting.

"Who's looked out for you all these years? Me, you fucking whore!"

Instead of continuing to try to quiet Blake, Harry grabbed my hand. "Let's leave. Please, Draco!" He kept on staring at Louis, while herding me out.

"Hey Malfoy! You know what, you can have him. I can do better! I have done better!" He's still yelling at the top of his lungs. "But you should know...."

Almost against my will I turned.

"You should get tested. You know, for diseases and all that shit." He leered, while Harry jerked away from me, as if stung. "You never know where dear Harry's been." He shoved his way between Harry and I.

"What's he talking about, Harry?" I asked him.

"I d-don't know." Harry stuttered, trying to find an answer.

"What was he talking about!" I grabbed his shoulders, shaking him. But I've already figured it out. Severus had certainly told me enough times. And I thought about the way people treated Harry, the drunk guy, the leers at school; he really was a slut.

I released him, walking away.

"Draco!" Harry continued to follow me.

I could feel me heart break, but I ignored it. I didn't have a heart. I was Draco Malfoy; I didn't need him.

"Draco, talk to me!" He grabbed onto my arm, like I was so used to him doing. I wouldn't let it affect me anymore.

"Don't you fucking touch me again, Potter." I glared at him and he dropped his hands.

* * *

The drive home was a blur. I didn't even notice that I had moved until I got out in the driveway.

Nobody was home. Good.

I probably slammed every door on the way to my bed, but I didn't care.

I felt sick. Nauseous. I curled up, holding my stomach.

I laid there for hours in the dark, trying to calm down. Trying to not think, to keep from drowning in confusion.

But one thing was clear.

This was the end of Harry Potter.

* * *

Harry Potter did not exist.

It was the last week of classes. And that was all I thought about. I threw myself into my work, not that there was any real work left.

Weasley and Granger tried to talk to me a couple of times, but I easily brushed them off. They were his friends, not mine.

I briefly considered making a move on Pansy, the girl who used to flirt with me, to show Potter that I wasn't thinking about him, but I knew it was useless. Everyone knew I was gay at this point. I thought about one of the guys, but that just made me think of him. I could never know which of them he hadn't slept with....

I actually did take Blake up on his advice, although it was hard telling Severus and my father that I didn't use a condom the first time I fucked Harry; and that's all it was... fucking. I had banished the thought from my head that it might have been something more.

I tested negative. I was clean.

But that made me hate him more. Did he not stop to consider what diseases he might have been spreading with that mouth of his.... I never thought to use a condom when he gave me a blowjob.

Again, I stopped to think of other things.

Exams came up, and since in the days leading up to them I could do nothing else but study, they weren't difficult. I passed English well enough that I wouldn't have to take it again. Even with Potter sitting two seats away.

Severus and my father decided to take me out, to celebrate. It wasn't much, just an outing to a nice restaurant, but I enjoyed it. Especially when they started bickering over the waiter, who had flirted with my father.

"He was only being nice. Not every male is gay, Sev." Lucius bit into a bread stick, dismissing Severus' worries.

"He was not *only* being nice, Lucius." Severus, glowered.

"He asked if I would like more bread sticks. How is that more than being nice?"

I couldn't tell if my father was being purposely obtuse, but it was clear that he enjoyed winding Severus up.

"He asked if you wanted a bigger bread stick, not more, you nitwit."

My father was saved from answering when Andrae, the waiter once again arrived at our table.

"Sirs, would you be needing anything else." The bleach blond asked, winking at my father, while removing the dinner plates from the table, including the bread sticks.

"Yes, we are having a celebration, so desert and some champagne. Three glasses, if you would be so kind." Lucius, grinned at the guy, who's eyes narrowed.

"I live to serve you." Andrae's grin turned sly as he turned away, taking the dishes with him.

Severus only glared at my father.

"What? Was he flirting again." Lucius asked, leaning closer to the dark man, as if to kiss him.

Severus, on the other hand, would have none of it and got up saying he was going to the bathroom.

"Maybe you shouldn't rile him up like that," I stated, as Severus walked away.

"I know." My father seemed to deflate a little.

"So why do you do it?" I asked.

"It just comes naturally to me, Draco. Besides, he'll cool down soon enough. He knows I love him. And I like it when he's possessive."

I ignored that last part.

I wasn't sure if I liked my father playing with Severus like that. I knew I should probably stay out of it, but I did want to man to be happy. He had been entirely too somber before my father moved in.

Sure enough, Severus did come back after a few minutes, although he was a lot quieter.

I think my father reached for Severus' hand under the table, but I couldn't be sure.

When the waiter returned, Lucius ignored him, causing Andrae to look insulted. Severus' face lightened a bit, as the man slouched away.

We had desert in silence, but with many less severe looks from Severus.

I was glad.


	21. Chapter 21

With finals over I was allowed to wallow in my desolation. I spent most of my time watching television or reading; both my father and Severus attempted to kick me out of the house several times, without succeeding.

I was blissfully unaware of the outside world.

Until I got a call, from Ron Weasley no less.

I let the phone ring at first, having no intent to ever answer it. Trying to ignore it, I went to the kitchen to make lunch.

It was still ringing seven minutes later.

"What is it," I asked, answering.

"What the bloody hell is your problem, Malfoy?" Weasley started to yell on the other end.

I hung up.

Five minutes later he called again. I could only guess that he had Hermione with him on the other end.

"Weasley, what the hell do you want?"

"You know, I should punch your lights out, if I knew where you lived. I mean, we trusted you. Harry trusted you. Whatever you did, he's gone now, gone to live with his god-father. Harry wouldn't even tell us where. Never mind, that he's putting us through the wringer worrying about him. Yeah, I know 'Mione and I haven't always done right by him, but I really thought he trusted us by now. And-"

"Weasley-" I interrupted him exasperated. "Did you just call me to say Potter's left town? If you did, you shouldn't have bothered. I don't care what he does."

"Well you should. It's your fault."

"My fault that he cheated? Although, I guess you can't cheat on someone you aren't in a relationship with." I felt the anger that I worked so hard to compress gradually return.

"Harry cheated on you." Weasley sounded honestly confused. "Are you sure? I mean, did you actually see him with someone. It's not exactly a secret that some of the guys at our school have been after Harry. It's a bit odd actually."

"I heard it from Blake. Potter didn't exactly do anything to discourage the idea. He practically said it himself that he was screwing around with other guys."

"Oh."

"That all you can say, 'oh'?!" I asked, getting riled up.

"Look, Malfoy. I didn't know." I heard him talking away from the phone for a moment. "We didn't know. But, Harry did sleep around on Blake. He didn't keep that a secret from us. I figured the bastard deserved it and we couldn't get Harry away from him, so... I guess we never really thought it was that bad. I really do think Harry likes you, so I don't know what he's up to know."

I sighed. "Weasley, Harry's lied to the both of us. So I think, it's settled that I haven't done anything to him, right? You can stop coming after me. Tell Hermione that, as well."

"Right." The voice on the other end said, although a bit reluctantly. "You know, Malfoy, I never really thought you were that bad a guy. I'm just a bit... touchy when people talk about my family, and I know Blake started that, not you. It's just... I know I can be a bit..."

"Dimwitted, an ignoramus, a dolt, a blockhead-"

"Let's go with that last one." Weasley interrupted me. "I'm just trying to look out for Harry."

"I know. Uh..." I began, not knowing if I should continue. "Weasley, could you check out this address." I said, then giving him the location of Harry's apartment, if he was still there. "Look for Harry there, but you might not find him."

"Yeah, sure; but why here?"

"Harry's been staying there. For a while, I think. Longer than I've been at Hogwarts, anyway."

There was more mumbling on the other end. "Do you know why he didn't tell us?"

"Heck if I know."

Things were silent for a moment. "If you see Harry, you will talk to him, right?"

"... I'll think about it."

* * *

That night it was Severus' turn to confront me. Both he and my father had been edging around the subject, so I knew one of them would say something soon.

"Can't you ever sit normally?" Severus said, coming into the room. "I know Lucius taught you better."

I got up from where I had been lounging on the couch, feet up on the armrest.

"I heard you talking to Mr. Weasley."

"It's not the first time I've talked to him," I muttered.

Severus hesitated for a moment. "I was going to let your father talk to you, but I see it can't wait any longer."

"Where is he?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"I haven't the foggiest. He said something about an investigation, before he left this morning." Severus said sitting in the armchair.

"You don't have to say anything. You were right."

"So it's just as I thought." Severus pursed his lips. "He was... with someone else?"

"Yes...." It still stung, no matter how many times it went through my head. "Weasley was trying to get me to see reason. He wants me to talk to Harry, if I ever see again him, anyway. They said he's run off to live with some relative, an uncle, or god-father, something like that."

I kind of figured Severus would be happy to learn that Potter had flown the coop, but he just seemed slightly worried. "Are you going to?"

"I shouldn't. I should say good riddance. It's not like it's important."

"It's important to you." Severus replied calmly.

I couldn't say anything, because it was true. I wanted Harry. Still wanted Harry. "Shouldn't you be telling me this was for the best? That he's a slut and everything. It almost sounds like want us together."

"I wouldn't go that far, Draco." My god-father grimaced for a moment. "I've... thought more about it. I've tried to pay more attention. I've been a bit lax in my role as a teacher, at least as far as he is concerned. I let my own personal problems get in the way, which is what got me in trouble in the first place." Severus' words slowed, as if trying to find the correct ones.

"I think I judged him too quickly. Your father... he made it hard for me. He basically told me I was allowed to love him, but not be with him. He told me he loved me, after all the years he spent with Narcissa, but would not see me.

"I'm surprised nobody reported me, I surely couldn't have been more than barely functional."

I had to suppress a snort. I was sure that if nothing else, Severus found a way to get his job done.

"Potter was serving a detention with me, I forget the reason. I let myself get distracted, in my thoughts on Lucius. I don't know how it happened, but I snapped out it when I felt his... mouth on mine."

Severus' gave me look that said he would kill me if I ever repeated his words.

"I knew I should have said no, I was his teacher, but I didn't. Things went quickly.... downhill from there-"

Both Severus and I jumped when the front door slammed shut. I was tense as I turned; already knowing my father would be in the doorway.

"Lucius." Severus rose to his feet.

"You slept with him?! That boy!" My father was incensed.

"Lucius, you hardly have the right to be upset!" Severus voice slowly rose. "You wanted nothing more to do with me other than to belly-ache, over the phone, that life had dealt you a bad hand."

"I- He's younger than Draco." Lucius was still a bit pink in the face, but he was quickly regaining his composure.

"Do you think I haven't realized that?" Severus replied.

My father started to say something more, and then glanced at me. "Draco, please go upstairs."

"This is the living room, not your bedroom," I couldn't help but mutter, but I got up anyway.

"I can't believe you told him about having sex with a teenager! What's he supposed to think?" I could hear my father begin, before I decided to close my door.

Severus' story did make me think, but not in the way either of them probably thought I would. If anything, it only reinforced what Severus had told me to begin with.

I stayed there in my room for a while longer, before I decided I had had enough of being cooped up. I grabbed my coat, and keys; and then headed back down stairs.

"I'm going out, Christmas shopping." I said, not turning my head towards the couch.

"My wallet's in my pants." I heard my father say breathily. I tried to tune out the other noises I was hearing, of which, Severus' moans were not the worst.

"I'm not going in there, father." I said from the doorway.

"Lucius, maybe we should stop." I heard Severus' voice hitch, and then there were no more words.

'Great', I thought to myself. At first I tried to find the pants with my eyes closed, only to find they were nowhere on the floor.

"Father, where are your pants." I said, grinding my teeth. The only answer I got was a moan.

For a moment, I wondered if it I really wanted to get out this badly, but I did. Besides, it not as if it was my mother. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes in order to find those damned pants.

I looked away from them, at first, praying that the pants might have been tossed on the television, or somewhere near. Luck was not with me.

So I sucked up my pride and turned to face them. I know I should have felt seriously disturbed, and on some level I was, but, although I was surly flushed pink, it wasn't completely awful. And I found my father's pants still hanging from one of his ankles.

You know, I never wanted to know that father didn't wear underwear.

I reached into his pocket, sure enough, pulling out his wallet. I pulled a card out, replacing the rest.

"Get a fucking room next time." I muttered, folding his pants the placing them over the arm of the couch. I didn't even bother looking for Severus', deciding it was time to get out.

'That wasn't the least bit weird,' I tried to tell myself, as I locked the door behind me.

I was increasingly glad I never walked in on my father and my mother. But then again, I guess with her he was never passionate enough to have sex in the living room.

Thankfully.


	22. Chapter 22

What were they thinking! I continued to curse Severus and my father as I walked down the walkway. The shock had worn off, but not the embarrassment. I was sure my face would never return to its original color.

It was frigid out; so cold that I was surprised it wasn't snowing. Just a couple of weeks ago had been mild enough for a jacket.

I never got my coat back from Ha-Potter. I had forgotten after it had warmed a bit.

For a moment, I considered going back in the house, either to stay in, or borrow a coat, but I was understandably reluctant. So, my other option was to track down my own; which meant going to see Potter.

I considered ignoring the cold, but decided that it was kind of stupid to be freeze when I knew where my coat was. Besides, why should I be nervous to go see Potter? He probably wasn't even there.

I shrugged to myself, if he wasn't I could always buy another one. My father wouldn't be happy, but he would understand. It wasn't as if he couldn't afford it.

I couldn't help but wonder about my grandfather, the real power behind the family.

Abraxas Malfoy was... elderly. Truthfully, I was surprised that he was still alive. My father had never been close with either of his parents; apparently they had threatened to disown him countless times for indiscretions that I had never been made aware of. Therefore, I'd only met Abraxas a couple times, the last being when I was six. The man had looked like a skeleton even then and my father had laughed when I told him so. He was every bit as dry and dusty as a skeleton. And it didn't help that he still thought I was a girl. No matter what either of my parents said, I received a 'grand-daughter' birthday card. It wasn't my fault; it's difficult to be masculine when you're six! I'm only thankful he never took an interest in me, so I rarely received more than a card from him on any given holiday. I shuddered at the idea of him getting me dresses.

I shuddered to think about what growing up under him must have been like.

It's no wonder my father did what he did. I couldn't help but wonder, if I had been put in the same situation, would I have acted any differently. Lose your lover or lose your family.... I didn't know if I could say for certain that he chose wrong.

Did that condition still stand; was my father still risking being disowned? If he was disowned, what would happen to me... my mother?

They were getting divorced anyway, so what would happen to her? I hadn't thought to ask.

I was so lost in my thoughts, that I barely noticed that I had reached Harry's.

I knocked, after a moment of staring at the door trying to pull myself together. Nothing, then I remembered that the door was rarely locked and reached for the knob. It opened. I hesitated before entering, hoping he really wasn't there.

And he wasn't. Nothing was there; at least, nothing of importance. No clothes, only school books, his sparse kitchenware, and the like remained.

So that was it. He just packed up and left, not caring what he was doing to people! I felt my anger return, as I turned, slamming the door behind me.

* * *

I wanted to avoid to mall, with so many people being on holiday, so I decided to drive around a bit, hoping to see something interesting.

I found a shopping center that looked promising; at least, it wasn't crowded, so I stopped in.

I was quick to enter the first store, wanting to get out of the cold. The women manning the desk looked at me disdainfully, almost suspicious. I glared back, wondering what her problem was, before realizing it was a lingerie store. I lightened my look, but stepped towards the desk with confidence.

"Madam, I seen to have wandered in the wrong direction. You see, I was looking for a present for my mother." I did my best to look chagrined. "Is there a place you could recommend?"

I could tell she was still debating if I was some good-for-nothing-young-punk trying for a easy thrill. "I also have have an assortment of jewelry, if that's what you're looking for."

"That should do." I said, following her further in. It was always easy to buy something for my mother; she liked jewelry, the more expensive, the better. All within good taste, of course.

The woman hovered over my shoulder, while I looked. I almost turned and told her off a few times, but I did my best to bury my irritation.

Half of the selection was crap that I knew my mother would never wear. "Do you have anything real, or should I move on to next store?" I stared at the woman, truthfully ready to leave, cold or not.

"I beg your pardon?" She raised her hand to her chest, clearly affronted.

"Do you have anything that is not made out of plastic or tin foil? My mother would never be caught dead in any of this crap." I said in a haughty voice.

It paid to act like a brat sometimes, as the woman took me further into the shop, straight to a locked cabinet. "...kid better buy something..." I heard her mutter under her breathe.

I walked closer to see what was there. It was when I felt her breath on the back of my neck that I had had enough.

"Do you treat all of you customers like this?" I said, standing directly over the women, giving her a look I knew my father would have been proud of.

"Just hooligans looking to steal something." She glared back, trying to raise make herself appear taller.

"You don't make a lot of sales do you. I'm sure you stalk all your customers until they get sick of it. Guess, I'll just take my money elsewhere." I almost dropped my mother name, as it was well know in the world of retail, but decided against it.

"I work hard for my money, unlike brats like you! I need to make sure none of it manages to walk out the door."

"Look, Ms...-" I stopped, not knowing what to call her.

"Davis."

"Ms. Davis. You know what; I'll pay you anyway, if it's so important, even if I've decided not to buy anything." I pulled out my father's card.

"You can't do that." If anything, she looked more insulted. "You have to buy something!" She pushed me back towards the cabinet, this time giving me space.

Now that I had time to look over the objects, I could see that these were indeed worth more than what was out in the open. I happened to see and smallish box in the corner. A jewelry box; I examined it closer, noticing that it wasn't tarnished and shined bright with a labyrinthine of flowers and vines etched into the surface. Inside, was many smaller compartments, some large, some small.

My mother would love it. And it was damned more useful than a necklace.

I picked it up, liking the weight, and took it to the counter, where Ms. Davis was waiting somewhat impatiently.

I even didn't blink as she entered the amount into the register, giving me a questioning look, as it was never unusual for me to spend more on my mother than anyone else. I was about to leaving the store, after paying when she pulled out the paperwork. I hate paperwork.

She disappeared while I stood, filling page after page.

I almost left the paper on the counter, not knowing what to do, when she hurried back into the room holding a bag.

Ms. Davis hesitated, and then held it out to me. Completely confused, I accepted it. "It's an apology," she stated. "I figured it was the holidays, so it's something extra for your sweetheart or somebody."

I looked around the store; it was completely... girly. "No offense but I wouldn't be interested in the type of guy who would wear *anything* in your store" Although I was already unfortunately, imagining Harry in some of the items; nothing major, maybe a thong. I quickly shoved the thought away, not wanting my thoughts to return to him.

Indeed Ms. Davis flushed before answering. "It's a scarf."

"Oh, thanks." I tried not to look too embarrassed, hurrying out the door.

* * *

After that, I decided to get something for Severus. Severus' present seemed safe enough; he liked books. So, I was in and out of the bookstore.

On my way out, I happened to spot something. The book wasn't really my god-father's taste, but it was Hermione's. At first, I put it back, since we weren't that close, then thought why not. It was only a book. Although, if I got her something, then I would have to get Weasley something....

Which, of course, made me think of Harry, but I got the book anyway, and a box of chocolate.

I didn't try to find a present for my father. I could never keep him from opening them ahead of time, so I had long since learned to never buy him anything until Christmas Eve.

'Severus is right. My father is a child.' I thought to myself, but with affection instead of the enmity that had filled my thoughts of him more recently.

Having had enough, I quickly drove home, even turning the radio on, something I usually didn't do. It almost always made me more stressed.

I pulled back into the driveway, hoping Severus and my father were done, or had at least gone to sleep.

I got out, leaving the gifts in the car, knowing they were safe.

I suppose I should have guessed that something would happen as I walked to the door; I mean, it wasn't as if he didn't do this often enough, but only hindsight is 20/20.

The last thing I expected, at that moment, was to find Harry placing my coat by the door. It seemed I had come home at exactly the right moment.


	23. Chapter 23

"What are you doing here?" I asked, lacking anything of importance to ask, so resorting to the obvious question.

Potter had frozen the moment he saw me walk up, dropping the coat. He opened his mouth to speak, but then muttered "nothing" and attempted to move around me.

"Is that all you have to say, Potter?" I turned to keep up with him.

"What do you want me to say, Draco? I'm a slut, remember." Harry took another couple of steps before stopping again. "I thought you might be cold, so I brought you back your coat. Sorry for keeping it so long." He shrugged, then stood there awkwardly, looking at the concrete.

"I thought you had left town. Hermione said that you had moved in with family. Did you?" Truthfully, Harry looked awful, dirty; grungier than I had ever seen him.

"Why do you want to know? It's not as if you'll listen."

"Maybe I would listen to you if you didn't always lie!" I felt my frustration with him returning.

"Lie?! You were never interested in my life. You never wanted to talk. All you wanted was a quick fuck, Draco. And I was fine with that, but I will not be called a liar!" Harry yelled, coming closer.

"Not a liar, but you never told me you were screwing half of the school. I had to hear it from everyone else, Severus included!"

Harry paled instantly, sputtering. "That was an accident. I can't believe he told someone, much less you!"

"Well, he is my god father, Potter. He wants me to be well informed. He was very insistent that I stay away from you." I glared him down.

"I didn't mean for it to go that far; he was just so miserable. Snape isn't my favorite person, but he was one of the only teachers who actually seemed like a real person to me."

I could tell that there had to be more. I mean, he slept, seduced as far as I could tell, with a teach because he was sad?

"So that's it? So, you really are just a slut."

Harry was silent for a moment. "I liked that him. He seemed different. As I said, Snape was a real person. Most people I've seen are completely fake; they act too happy, like everything is great. They're all the same, like plastic."

"And you are a real person. From what I can see you are always pretending to be someone else or lying to people. You never tell Hermione or Weasley anything; you haven't made an effort to treat them like real friends. Are they fake people to you?"

"So it's all on me, Draco?" Harry said, getting defensive. "I've done everything wrong, no one else."

I had him in a corner. "See, you won't talk about it. You said wanted to talk, really talk, and here I am. I think you stayed around me, because you decided I wasn't interested."

"Just drop it, Draco. It's freezing out here." Harry indeed tried to walk away, but I grabbed him arm.

"You felt sorry for Severus, but why were you with me? Why everyone else?!" I had to know and I was sick and tired of avoiding the subject. "I told you I wasn't interested, but you kept at it."

"Why are you so upset if you don't want to really be with me?" Harry hissed. "What does it matter?"

"I just want to know why."

"I was paid. They paid to me sleep with them and you come from a rich family." Harry eyes lit up and he wrenched out of my grip. "You can gues-"

I punched him. I couldn't take it anymore.... Only I didn't expect Harry to hit back.

We were deep in it, throwing punches, left and right.

It only lasted for a couple moments, before we were forced apart.

"For the love of god, do you have to fight with everyone!" Severus yelled, while my father held the back of my shirt. "Inside! The both of you." Severus grabbed Harry, while my father forced me to walk, his hand on my back.

"But-"

"Shut it, Draco." My father bit out the words.

"But-"

"Not right know." His tone told me not to argue.

They quickly took us in the house, and sat us down.

"Now, what happened?" Severus demanded, in full teacher mode.

"He's a whore, that's what's wrong. He only slept with me because you are my father." I look at Lucius, feeling a small bit of resentment, although I knew it wasn't his fault.

Harry jumped to his feet, looking at me. "Yes, but-. Look, I really like you Draco."

"You have a great way of showing it. Fucking every other guy you came across." I spat, also rising.

"I needed the money! You've seen where I live, Draco. I needed to do something." Harry pleaded with me.

"Where you live, Potter?" Severus spoke up.

"At the Dursley's, I mean." Harry tried to cover, clearly panicked.

"Then what do you need the money for?" My father asked, clearly irritated.

"I...." Harry closed his mouth when he couldn't come up with an answer. He was already caught. "Either way. I didn't do all this to hurt you. At first, yeah, I was after the money. But you are the only one I tried to get closer to, even after I knew you were cut off from your parents. I don't want your money, Draco. You have to believe me."

"Why should I?! Why should I believe anything you say."

"Because it's the truth!" Harry yelled.

"I think that it enough." Severus interceded. "Potter sit. We need to talk. Draco, go clean up; if you need any antibiotics, look in my bathroom."

I didn't move a first, wanting to hear what they were going to say, but then my father hauled me up and out of the room.

"You do know why I'm upset, Draco?" He asked, the fierce expression from before gone.

"No. I didn't do anything." I stated. If he wasn't such a slut none of this would have happened!

"Draco, I taught you better than this. For one thing, I thought you knew better than to start a fight you can't win."

"How was I supposed to know he-" I started, but was quickly cut off.

"That's another thing; starting a fight with someone you think is weaker. Not to mention, it's in bad taste to beat on someone you love." He raised an eyebrow.

"Love!" I growled. "I don't love him."

"But you do care about him. Or at least I would hope so. Draco, you rarely talk about anything else; everything leads back to him. I hope this isn't just an obsession."

I could say nothing, because it was true. I did care about him, but it didn't make me any less angry.

"I do not like that he has put you in this situation, but you might want to at least listen to what he has to say. You don't want to wake up years later regretting that you never knew the truth because you wouldn't listen, Draco."

Then he left, going back down the stairs.

I decided to follow Severus' advice and took a shower, washing off the sweat, wincing as I bent to remove my shoes and pants. Damnit, Harry had gotten me in my sore rib.

After showering, I went into my room to get dressed only to find Harry there, sitting at my desk.

"What are you doing up here," I asked, keeping my voice even. I still remembered what Harry and I usually did when he was in my room and had to stop myself from getting aroused.

"This is punishment. Snape's going to contact my relatives tomorrow. Until then, we have to share your room." Harry replied, looking mildly irritated.

"I would think that would make you happy." I pulled the towel tighter and walked to my wardrobe.

"Yes, it's my dream come true to be hated." Harry sneered.

"You know every one keeps telling me I should forgive you, that I should listen. But you make it so hard, Potter." I said, pulling a shirt on.

"How am I making it hard?! I just want to put this behind me, with or with out you. And I would like to try things with you first. I just want to move on."

"Did you even really leave town, like you've told everyone. Staying with your godfather."

I could tell that he was considering what to tell me, before answering. "I was going to leave town. But I don't know after that. My god-father's dead. I guess I would have found something." He shrugged.

I could only imagine what he could have done.

"Why do you do it, all of it?" I asked.

"Do you really want to know?" Harry looked at me wearily.

"Yes."

"Do you mind if I take a shower first," He looked uncertain, as if he were asking too much.

I just shook my head. He had light smudges here and there and kind of smelled.

Harry quickly left, almost running.

I sighed as soon as the door closed. I didn't know what to do. On one hand, I felt I was right to snub him, but what if everyone else was right and I wasn't willing to see the whole picture. I was just concentrating on the one issue, not why.

Truthfully, I was never loyal to Blaise. I cared about him, but I was never loyal, in any sense. I told him I loved him, and I defiantly desired him, but would never commit to anything. I didn't date girls just as a cover, I did it to distance myself from him.

Could I actually be with someone, with Harry?


	24. Chapter 24

I was still thinking when Harry came back.

I turned to rummage through my drawers to keep myself from running my hands through his hair, which was still wet from the shower. I had to wonder, did he use my shampoo?

I pulled out a t-shirt and, after a moment of hesitation, a pair of boxers and tossed them to him. Harry immediately dropped the towel.

"Potter?!" I couldn't help but yell. I had at least turned around before dressing.

"What? We have had sex. You have seen me intimately without clothes on." Harry stated, frowning slightly.

"I know, it's just-" I couldn't think of a good reason so I just shut up. I don't think I'd ever seen him naked with the lights on.

I never did turn around, instead I continued to watch. I think he started with the shirt on purpose; it only went to his hips leaving everything under in full view.

I realized I was staring at him after I noticed he hadn't moved for a good moment, just standing there with his arms crossed.

"Seen enough?" he asked, grinning slightly, a little red in the face.

"No." I admitted quietly. I still definitely wanted him. But there were other things to get through first.

I think Harry was thinking the same thing, as he was quick enough to pull the shorts up then, before sitting at my desk again. I got on the bed.

"Want to have sex instead?" Harry asked, clearly hoping I would just say yes and not want to talk. If it had been a couple of weeks ago I probably would have said yes.

"Do you?" I asked instead.

"No." Harry said after a moment. "I just don't know where to start. There's allot of shit." He stated simply.

"The beginning?" I suggested, not wanting to tell him I already knew some of it. He already had issues with his friends and I didn't really want to cause more.

"I guess it probably started pretty early. You know my parents are dead, Draco? James and Lily Potter, they were killed by a burglar. I slept in their room; apparently I didn't like being alone. I still remember it, although my aunt Petunia always told me it isn't possible, that I was too young. My dad tried to fight the man, but he had a gun. The guy shot him and my mother, who was trying to protect me. He shot her in the back of the head; I watched it all happen; making a bloody hole in her head that I could see through. That's my only memory of parents. Either that or it really was all in my head, but I don't think so." Harry kept his head bowed the whole time, his hair obscuring his face.

I stayed still, stunned. Knowing his parents were dead was one thing, but to remember something like that.... If it had been my parents I probably would have lost my mind.

"I was sent to live with aunt and her husband after that. I did actually have a god-father, but he was incarcerated at the time. I didn't want to live with him anyway, since he was put away for murder." Harry shrugged like it was nothing. "I guess my cousin liked to pick on me, mostly about my parents. He broke my glasses allot." He paused, seeming unsure. "I took it out on my aunt and uncle; telling them they weren't my parents, and stuff like that. I was a real brat. Other than that, I quess I was a good kid; I had better marks than Dudley, anyway. We fought all the time, you know." Harry smiled slightly at me. "He usually won, but I held my own. The Dursley's eventually decided it was best to keep us apart. They sent Dudley to some prestigious boarding school, while I stayed here. Dudley was popular, more or less; he had a gang of friends who took his being sent away out on me; Ron was in that group, actually, kind of a hanger-on. Hermione transferred in one year. She was your classic geek, only without glasses; that was my thing. She drew horses on her books, never unicorns, she said they were ridiculous, was always reading and had a lot of hair. So, Dudley's group, although he was gone by now teased her mercilessly, pushing her around, stealing her stuff and so on. I know one guy peed in her notebook; she cried for the rest of the day and I had to talk her out of the janitor's closet.

"Eventually, Ron broke away from them. He just hung around for a while, before I got that it was because he kind of liked Hermione." Harry smiled, probably seeing them as kids. "It took him forever to admit it, almost a full decade."

"That seems like him." I had no problem picturing it, Weasley to scared to tell a girl he likes her. I was clear, even to me, that he was quite happily putty in her hands.

"Yeah," Harry replied. "Things were great for a while. Dudley was gone, so after a while his gang laid off Hermione and me. Then we grew up and I started noticing things. Like how other guys started to talk about girls, about their breast and stuff; I wasn't interested. It took me awhile to figure out that I liked guys. It wasn't until one time I was talking to this guy and realized I thought he was hot. I wasn't too sure at first, I mean, why couldn't a guy just think another guy was attractive? Maybe all guys were like that, but didn't talk about it. But, I wanted to know for sure, so I decided... to take a peek. I was on the football team at the time and we were in the locker room; most guys kept their eyes to themselves unless it was as a joke. Needless to say, bingo! That was the first time I was absolutely sure. Unfortunately, I got caught with a woody and you can guess what happened after that. That was also when Ron figured it out." Harry shrugged, trying to make lite of it, but I knew it was a difficult for him.

"How did you know?" Harry asked suddenly.

"What?"

"When did you figure it out?" He prompted.

It was my turn to shrug. "It wasn't a big thing. I think I knew pretty early. But I also learned that being gay was something I had to hide. There was no coming out. You already know what happened."

"But you said you did date girls that you slept with them?" He didn't seem jealous, just curious.

"Yes, but I'm not just un-interested, I... vagina's scare me a bit. And I don't like breast." I admitted.

"But you still did it."

"I kind of pretended they where guys, I kept myself distracted. One time, I slipped and remembered I was having sex with a girl. I got soft immediately and she slapped me. I had to take her to a dance to keep her quiet. I think she thought I had ED."

Harry laughed.

"It's not funny!" But I had a smile on my face anyway. "But what about you; what happened next?"

Harry went quiet, but what else should I expect; I knew this part of the story.

"Ron was there. He had been the one to encourage me to join the team, actually. His brothers had all played and he didn't wasn't close to any of the other guys. I'm sure he regretted it after that." Harry sighed. "I was kicked off the team; I was good, and I'm not bragging, but none of the guys, not even Ron was comfortable after I got hard from eying them. It's not as if I did it on purpose; I didn't know that would happen!" Harry was red in the face at this point.

"Anyway, Ron wouldn't talk to me after that, not really. He tried to pretend that nothing had happened, mostly for Hermione's sake. Then she figured it out. I hoped that she would talk some sense into Ron, but the opposite happened. You know, I could stand being a pariah at first; at least I still had friends. But, to have everybody stare at you when you passed, calling you a pervert and everything else, and to have no one to stand by you, or at least talk to you; to have the only two people who I really considered to be my friends pretend I didn't exist...."

"What about your family?" I had to ask. My parents had reacted badly at first, but now I don't really think they cared. I knew that if I wanted to talk either of them or even Severus they would listen.

"I was never close with any of them. I think I reminded my aunt Petunia that her sister was dead. She never wanted to get to close. Vernon, her husband... I don't really think he cared that I was there as long as I stayed out of the way, otherwise we generally ended up in yelling matches that Aunt Petunia would have to break up."

I couldn't imagine Harry yelling at someone, he always seemed kind of quiet, like he was willing to just let things happen.

"He would say that he married the right sister, that it was a stupid way to die. I think it bothered Petunia, but she never said anything against him; I think she agreed. I couldn't tell them something stupid, like I was getting picked on by the kids at school. Then it became more; I would get pushed down stairs and have everyone claim it was an accident. I got pulled into secluded areas and get beaten. No one ever noticed or cared. The school nurse told me to be more careful. I tried to tell her what was happening, and she said I was only gay, it couldn't have been that bad and it would eventually blow over. It took about two years to blow over, for everyone to stop caring for the most part. Lewis did that for me."

Two years of abuse.... I would have been grateful for someone to be kind.

"He was new, but didn't really care about being liked. He would hang out with me, and didn't care that people called him queer. He would just punch them in the face. He was in enough fights that I think people became afraid of him; he would always laugh when it was over, sometimes bleeding."

"Were you afraid of him?"

Harry shook his head. "I don't think I was ever afraid of him, except when he hurt you. I didn't care about everyone else he hurt."

"No even yourself."

"Nope." He smiled sadly. "But, at first I didn't have a reason. We were comrades; we were everywhere together. I was so surprised when he first kissed me, but I didn't say no. I liked him and if he wanted to have sex, I didn't see any reason not to. Everyone's opinion of me was already dirt. He always wanted to have sex. 'What's wrong with fucking,' he would say, 'if it feels good, so why not'. So we would smoke, fuck, and have a merry time. Life was a game." Suddenly he looked me straight in the eyes, his bright green eyes meeting mine. "Draco, I did lie to you before. Remember when I said I never really took drugs, that I didn't take those pills."

I nodded.

"I got so high I couldn't talk or see straight, it sent me off to my own personal dreamland, Lewis said I was moaning so nicely he had to tape it. That wasn't the only time. I always took what he gave me, at least for a while. It only lasted for a few weeks, maybe three months. But I noticed what effects the drugs and him were having on me; I lost count the amount of time I told my aunt 'fuck you' when I came home at 5 am, sometimes drunk. Lewis and I had sex anywhere and everywhere. One time it was on her front lawn with her screaming at us. I ran away from home. Lewis found me an apartment, paid it with his parent's savings. I was there any time he wanted. Of course, I didn't go to class most of the time.

"Then he went on a family vacation and my supply was cut off. At first, I thought about where to find a new supplier, but I was sober before that happened. And scared, and panicked, and sick. I mostly remember feeling cold and like I was dying. Once I was sober, I wanted to get control again. I still wanted to get high, but I wanted control more. After than I never did anything harder than pot, mostly to calm my nerves. Although, I still sometimes crave more."

"You stayed with him?" I couldn't believe it.

"He didn't give me anything that I didn't want, Draco." He grinned slightly. "I liked it and he didn't argue when I got clean. He just said 'alright', and that was the end. He stayed with me through the rest of my withdrawl.

"What I think you want to know is how I started whoring myself, because it wasn't while I was on drugs."

I just waited, not wanting to say anything. I didn't know how to digest everything; should I be glad it's over, sad that he went through everything?

"After I was clean and was back in school I actually did pretty good. I honestly didn't care about much at that point, so it was easy enough to pay attention. I figure out I liked writing; it was entertaining. There wasn't much to do at my apartment, but write; I didn't want to buy a TV, it was too much money. Eventually, the professor took notice and told me to think about tutoring. At first, there was no way in hell I would help those morons, but I was in need, so eventually I said yes. At first it was fine, but these were the same people who had tortured me. At first, they would just suggest things, to make me uncomfortable. I told Lewis, just talking like we always did. He said why not. I thought he was joking, but he said it would be getting them back. Doing stuff with me would make them gay. I was still his, and I needed the money, he couldn't pay for me forever. I decided he was right, that having sex with someone else didn't mean Lewis wasn't most important to me. So, I started take them up on it. I loved the shock on the first guys face when I asked if he wanted to go somewhere more private, then when dropped to my knees in front of him. I showed Lewis the money, still excited. He took half, saying his parents had noticed that the money was missing. I just let it go and things continued like that."

Harry stopped and looked at me for a while, he was crying.

"I didn't know I was a whore, Draco." He seemed to be pleading.

"I know." And I did.

"I was stupid for a while, thinking I was getting one up on them. It didn't occur to me that for some guys sex was sex, as long as they were on top. And that Lewis was like that, that he liked dominating people. He liked short small types, which I was, so he could tower over them, be everything they want. Have them be grateful and willing to everything. Twist them to his way of thinking." Harry hissed. "Until they don't know who they were in the first place. Make them want him. Lewis always told me I was his, that I would do anything for him. I liked that, until I realized what he meant. Then you came." Harry got up, pushing the chair out of the way. He got on the bed so that he was straddling my stomach. My heart jumped.

"At first, I just thought you were like everyone else, someone to use. Lewis said he had heard of your family, that you were loaded. Easy money. Only you didn't get it. Everyone else knew what I did, but not you. You were the first guy I had to actively pursue, and you ran. Now I understand why, but then, you just confused me. Sex was just sex, a means to an end and I didn't really understand why you said no. Eventually, I started too really like you. I wanted to do nice things for you. I wouldn't have gotten you to hang out with me, Hermione, and Ron otherwise; you seemed lonely. I wouldn't have brought you to my home."

Harry leaned in, pressing his lips to mine only for a second. Long enough for me to want to grab him.

"Lewis could tell there was a difference pretty quickly. That I was paying more attention to you than I normally would. It made him jealous; remember, I was his. Hell, he didn't like it that I hung around Ron and Hermione. He liked me better alone than with friends. Fucking other people was fine, but I couldn't let them be important to me. Then I decided I wanted you, I wanted to get to know you. You know what happened, when he had had enough. No lube or anything, I could at least get that from everyone else. But you were the one who felt guilty, when you thought you had caused me pain, even when it had been Lewis' fault. I liked that you were enthusiastic, Draco." Harry leaned forward again, this time waiting until my mouth opened and he touched his tongue to mine. Again, only for a moment.

"You can be a selfish self-righteous prick, Draco, but you're a good guy. I trust you." He put his arms behind my head, in an awkward hug and laid on me. I reach up and pulled him close.

We just stayed there for a while, maybe an hour before I noticed he was fast asleep. I pulled him tighter; I decided I liked being there for Harry.


	25. Chapter 25

AN: I blame this delay on Sims 3. Also, don't take the end of this chapter to seriously.

hr

I was exhausted when I woke up, probably because Harry was laying on me. I shifted a little and bit back a groan. I looked down to see if he was awake, but he still snoring peacefully.

That's right; Harry and I had a fight yesterday. Then there was... the talk. And I actually didn't regret it. Well, I regretted getting hit, but I guess that was my fault.

But, everything he had been through.... Although, I was the cause of Blaise's pain, I never really experienced any myself. Except for his death. I don't think I will ever get over it, that I drove him to suicide.

I also thought of the things Harry and I had in common. That we were both betrayed, but that didn't even really compare. My parents, or my father, at least, had come running as soon as I was in trouble. It was still a bit harder for me to justify my mother's actions, but I had Severus to talk to if needed. Sort of.... Harry felt like he had no one. Even I could see that Hermione and Weasley were trying; I just wished that Harry would notice.

I laid there for a while longer before I started to hear voices coming from downstairs. At first, I figured it was my father or Severus, but it was a woman's voice, one I didn't recognize. It must be Harry's aunt. His family had arrived.

I didn't know if this was a good thing. Now that I was allowing myself to care about Harry, the worries began to compound. What would happen if things went badly, if Harry and his family couldn't work things out? He had abandoned the place that had been his home until now, so he had nowhere to go.

Sighing, I tightened the arm around Harry. Even if I didn't know exactly what I felt for him, besides lust, I didn't want him on the streets.

A few minutes later, I heard a knock at the door.

"Come in," I tried to say it quietly, but Harry was stirring already.

Severus slowly stuck his head into the room. "Mr. Potter is needed down stairs." My godfather seemed uncertain, hesitating before closing the door behind him. That wasn't a good sign.

"So, would you think I was a coward if I told you I don't want to go down there?" I heard Harry's voice faintly, as he was still lying on my chest.

"Of course I would, Potter."

Harry finally looked up, uncertain. "Are you joking with me?"

"Yes, but I do think you should. You can't live on the streets forever."

Harry smiled grimly. "What if I like it here?"

"Why would you stay here when you have a perfectly good home now that you can work things out with your family?" I hoped he did, although it seemed unlikely judging from Severus' behavior.

"Like you dealt with yours?" Harry glared, getting up suddenly. "Can I wear your clothes?" Great, now I managed to offend him.

"Harry, I wasn't trying to insult you." Relieved of his weight, I finally sat up.

"Why should I be offended? I've been trying to get away from here anyway. I just couldn't make up my mind, until now. Maybe I can get Aunt Petunia to put me in a different school. Then we'll all be happy." Harry rummaged through my wardrobe, without waiting for my answer.

"Will Blake leave you alone now, if you transfer?" I followed him, grabbing clothes for myself.

"No, I still owe him." Harry wouldn't look at me, clearly agitated. He missed a couple of buttons on his borrowed shirt, making him start again. It was clear he was trying to look presentable, maybe to impress his family.

"And if I went to my father, asked him for the money?" Although I knew he would refuse, this was something I could do.

"Then I would owe you." Harry finally looked at me.

"I promise not to collect."

"Draco, I pay my debts."

I stayed silent, knowing there was nothing I could say.

"Time to face the fire," Harry stood a little straighter, readying himself.

"Severus and my father could probably stall them a while longer." I offered.

Harry shook his head. "I don't want to go down there, but I know I need to."

While watching him leave the room, I considered staying behind. "Are you coming?" Harry asked, ducking his head back in the room.

Smiling slightly, I answered, "Yes."

Harry grabbed my hand squeezing it slightly. "Um.... before we go down there, Draco, I want to ask you something." He looked me in the eyes with more confidence than I had seen ever seen him show in a while. "Do you like me?"

I started to deflect the answer, like I normally would, but I suddenly had a feeling that this was important.

It was too soon! I'd barely had time to admit to myself that this wasn't a mistake! What was I supposed to say?

"Fine, I guess you were right from the beginning." I could see that Harry was trying not to look disappointed, but he was failing.

"Harry, I am trying to do better, to let you in." I spoke quickly, hoping that I wasn't too late. "I like you." I finally admitted.

Harry turned back to me, still obviously unsure. "Lust or like?" he questioned further.

"Both?" I hoped that was the right answer. He smiled, but I could see that something was still off. I thought quickly, trying to understand what I was doing wrong now. Then I understood.

Harry was almost always the one to make the first move. Things had been cooling down between us recently, and I hadn't noticed. Harry was waiting on me to act.

So I did. I moved forward slowly, giving Harry time to move away. He looked surprised, but happy. I stared at his lips, grinning to myself when Harry licked them in anticipation. I couldn't believe how excited I felt, when our lips met. It felt like this was our first kiss. I laughed a little when Harry smiled around the kiss.

Before either of us could get aroused, I pulled away. Or, rather, I tried. Harry put his arms around my neck tightly, trapping me mouth to mouth.

"So you really like me." Harry teased, when he finally let me go.

I laughed again. "Yes," I was feeling a bit giddy.

"Boys?" I looked down to stairs, to see my father smiling up, mockingly. I blushed, wondering how long he had been watching.

"We're coming." I answered. "-down." I added, quickly. Damn it! I felt my face get redder.

I heard Harry chuckle behind me but thankfully he didn't comment. "Let's go, Draco." Then we all filed into the room where Severus was hosting Harry's relatives.

He looked ready to kill, although no one was talking. I quickly sat on the love seat, as Severus had taken the armchair and the invited couple was occupying the sofa, my usual spot. I half expected Harry to sit with them, but to chose to be near me. I felt a little warm. My father stood behind Severus.

So this is them, I thought. Harry's uncle stood out the most, a large red man with a walrus mustache. He was visibly sweating, although the room was cool. The aunt was someone who seemed easily forgettable, thin and sallow, with equally dull yellow hair. I experienced a quick rush of pride, thinking of the platinum blond I had inherited from both my parents. She had Harry's green eyes, though not as bright. It was her only redeeming feature.

"I'm so glad we've found you!" Petunia exclaimed, although her eyes were glaring.

"It's good to see you, aunt Petunia." Harry stated. Although his words seemed equally false, he did seem remorseful. It was understandable considering their last time seeing each other. "I'm sorry!" Harry exclaimed suddenly. "I know I can't undo... that, but I wasn't myself at the time! I've changed."

But Petunia wasn't listening. "For what reason did you called us here? We are very busy people." She addressed Severus, her face pinched. Vernon was half sleep.

"Your nephew has been living on the streets, while you are listed as his guardian. I wanted to find out how this escaped your notice before I contacted the authorities." Severus peered down his nose at the woman, clearly having already decided this wasn't worth his effort.

"He informed us he was living moving in with his godfather," Petunia supplied easily, although she wouldn't look anyone in the eyes.

"While I don't know the specifics, Mr. Potter has told me you were unaware of his location," Severus quirked an eyebrow. "Which would mean one of you is lying. And I looked into the possibility of staying with his godfather, a man named Sirius Black. He died almost ten years ago, well before Mr. Potter states he left. And I reiterate you are his guardian, therefore making his well-being your responsibility. Although Mr. Potter decided to flee your home, it was your duty to keep him safe."

Harry was silent; he just stared at his aunt.

Petunia's eyes were tearing up. "I didn't know what to do!" The woman yelled, getting up. "What was I supposed to do? He- That boy, he.... I couldn't have that under our roof! It was- What he did was unspeakable!" She paced, talking mostly to herself. "He's been simply awful since the day he was left with us."

"I am sorry, but you didn't exactly make things any better. I probably wouldn't have done half the things I did if you had shown you cared about me." Harry yelled at his aunt.

"How could I care about someone who watched my sister die and did nothing?!" Petunia returned fire.

His eyes burning with resentment, Harry's voice rose higher. "I was a child! It was my mother, and father, who died. I'm the one who has to watch it over and over again when I sleep. I tried to talk about it with you, but you never listened. You didn't really care about her, did you?!" He was practically roaring the last words.

Smack.

Harry was knocked back from the force of the slap. I jumped up immediately, coming to Harry's aid.

My father had grabbed Petunia's arm, to keep her from striking Harry again, causing Vernon Dursley to jerk off the couch.

"Now listen here, you'd better release my wife if you know what's good for you." The walrus tried to intimidate Lucius by standing tall, although, he was still shorter than my father. "I'm on the neighborhood watch and know how to deal with ruffians like you," he bellowed.

My father let go immediately, turning on the congealed man. "You dare call me a ruffian, you proletariat?" he hissed.

"Lucius." Severus reprimanded my father. "Mrs. Dursley, if you do not control yourself there is no doubt that I will have charges brought against you. I am trying to come to a decision that is amicable to everyone, but do not push me. Now, Mr. Potter as you are almost eighteen, I would like to know what you wishes are. Do you want to return to the Dursleys?" He questioned Harry.

I could tell that things were definitely different between them. Severus didn't ever glare when speaking to Harry, it must have been some talk that they had. Instead, he just seemed concerned and slightly bitter.

"I would like to work things out between them," Harry started. "But I don't think it's possible, sir."

"Do you feel the same way?" Severus addressed the Dursleys. They both nodded, refusing to speak. "Then you are free to leave for the time being. I will be contacting you later, however." He glowered at the couple, and then rose to see them out. The Dursleys hurried close behind him.

"I'm sorry." Severus stated, upon his return.

Harry slumped onto the couch now that the couple was gone. "It's alright, Professor. It went exactly as I expected," Harry mumbled.

Severus motioned for me to follow him out. Harry hadn't noticed, so I quickly left.

"What is it?" I questioned him immediately.

Severus was silent for a moment, with a grimace on his face. "How do you feel about Potter living with here?"

"Do you mean for the night..." I hesitated before finishing, "or for a while."

"For a while." Severus stated.

Do I not get a break! I mentally yelled. Everything was about Harry! Every moment it seemed like I was being forced closer to him. Yes, I like him. But I didn't want to live with Harry.

"Harry already did practically live here at one point. Is it really so different if he doesn't leave at the end of the night?" Severus could see me resistance to the idea.

"So, you're Harry's biggest fan now." I answered bitterly, but he ignored my comment. "It's not the same and you know it."

"Potter has no place to go. He will be living here, regardless of your wants. I just hoped you would be an adult about this." My god-father growled, before sweeping out.

Be an adult?! I'm only eighteen! But I knew that I had just disappointed him.

Pushing away my anger, I quickly followed Severus, only to run into his back.

He was standing stock still, staring into the room, in utter shock.

Wondering what was wrong, I looked around him.

My father was kissing Harry.

"Get your hands off my boyfriend!"


	26. Chapter 26

AN: Not my favorite chapter, it's mostly filler.

* * *

"Get your hands off my boyfriend!" I yelled pushing past Severus, who was still stuck in place.

My father pulled away from a vaguely dazed Harry, looking very smug.

"There's no need to get so bent out of shape, Draco. Mr. Potter simply went into shock and since you too were too busy to notice, I took it upon myself to help him." Then he shrugged, appearing to be a bit miffed.

"By kissing him," Severus was trying to not look hurt, but the pinched expression gave him away.

"Why not? Everyone else has and I wanted to see what was so great about Mr. Potter." My father replied. "Don't worry Severus, you're still my favorite." He started to approach the man, but my god-father would have none of it. Instead, he stormed up the stairs, slamming the bedroom door. He probably locked it as well.

My father turned to me, looking put out.

"You won't get any sympathy from me." I still couldn't believe that he did that!

"What just happened?" Harry finally spoke up, looking adorably confused.

'He is not adorable!' I pushed the thought away; this was not to time for those thoughts. "I'm not talking to you either, Potter!"

I turned to follow Severus up the stairs, fully intent on avoiding the both of them for as long as possible. 

* * *

I read for rest of the day, bored out of my mind.

The television was downstairs, where I assumed my father and Harry were. Probably necking by now, I thought spitefully.

I briefly considered calling Hermione or Weasley, but stopped myself thankfully. I tried calling my mother after a while, but she didn't answer.

So, I read, for hours and hours.

Night came and I got ready for bed as usual, if not a little early.

While getting dressed, I finally heard footsteps. I froze; listen to find where the steps were going. There was a light knock. "Draco?" It was Harry. "Draco, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for your father to kiss me. It just happened! Please believe me. Draco, I'm so sorry." Harry pleaded.

I ignored him, and continued to get ready.

He called to me few more times, before giving up. I listened for a while more, until Harry retired to the guest room next door.

I settled in myself, hoping I could finally rest.

But, of course Harry never stopped moving.

I glanced at the clock; it was well after midnight. I had been listening to him shift for over 3 hours.

Damn, I huffed in frustration, shoving the blankets aside. I had had enough! I wanted to get some sleep and he wasn't going to keep me up all night with his restless stirring.

I shoved open the door, intending to tell him off, only to find that Harry was asleep; a fitful rest, judging by his constant tossing and turning.

I rolled my eyes, reaching wake him. After a moment, Harry opened his eyes a small bit. "Draco?"

"Shove over." Harry just smiled sleepily, before moving over.

"I'm only doing this so I can get some sleep Potter." Harry response was to wrap his arms around me.

I scooted closer, telling myself I wasn't snuggling; I just wanted to get warm.

'I'm still mad.' I thought before finally falling asleep. 

* * *

"Where's my present?" My father charged into the room, waking both me and Harry. 'He's such an octopus' I thought to myself when, as usual, Harry was wrapped around me.

"Father?" I sat up frowning. Harry just rolled a little, unwilling to move.

"My present?!" I had to keep myself from laughing. "I know you've got me one." He stared at me, looking cross.

"Father, it's not even Christmas yet."

"You can have one of yours." I felt Harry shudder with laughter.

"Have you looked in the car?" I questioned, knowing his present wasn't there. Neither was Harry's for that matter. Although I hadn't completely forgiven either of them, I was a bit more willing to see it as a joke by my father. A cruel joke; maybe I won't get him anything....

"Yes." Lucius pulled my keys out of his pocket, tossing them on the bedspread. "There was nothing I saw as mine."

"How do you know they weren't yours?" I was slightly irritated, but I had expected him to do this. It was the same every year....

"They were completely common!" My father threw his hands up. "Books and chocolate? And the others aren't my style."

"You know. Those could have been Harry's." I look pointedly at the boy still lying against me.

"I am getting something this year, aren't I?" My father ignored my comment.

"I haven't decided yet." I couldn't help but glower a little.

He finally stopped pacing. "If it's about yesterday, it was only a peck. It was merely a jest." My father's eyes saddened a bit. "I wouldn't do that to you or Severus."

Harry took the moment to snake an arm around my waist. "I really didn't mean to." He muttered. After a moment, I reached around to rub his shoulder, hoping he would understand that I wasn't mad anymore. Sore, but not mad.

"Is Severus talking to you?" I asked, worriedly.

"Barely." My father scoffed. "I told him it meant nothing."

I hesitated before asking my next question, not knowing if I was crossing the line. "How many times are you going to do that to him?"

"I didn't do anything. As I told you, Draco, it was only a joke."

I sighed. My father was always stubborn. "Just like at the restaurant? He won't always forgive you, father. Then you'll have had two failed relationships." I muttered bitterly. I liked to see my father happy, which he undoubtedly was with Severus. And randy.

"Draco." My father's tone warned me I was getting to close to the truth.

"Go spend the day with him." I shooed him away with my hands, mostly to lighten the mood. Although, he was irritated, I could see Lucius grin slightly before exiting.

Once the door closed, Harry rolled over, bursting with laughter. I could see tears forming, he was laughing so hard.

"Is something funny Potter?" I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Nothing, nothing at all..." Harry lied, still chuckling. "Sorry."

"Christmas is in a couple of days. Want to help me find him a present. We'll have to hide it, though." I got up, already making the motions to go to my wardrobe before remembering where I was.

"The attic?" Harry suggested.

I shook my head. "That's too easy. I want to make him work."

"Does it have to be in the house?" Harry got up, stretching.

I stared for a moment. Smiling, Harry walked forward and kissed me; nothing big, just touching our lips. It was nice. After a moment, I nodded to his question, feeling my lips pulling into a smile. "I want him to actually find it. I think he likes that part most. He doesn't really care what he get's as long as does get something." I smiled, remembering when I was a child, maybe three or four.

I had made my parents mud pies that year, hiding them in various places. My mother's, in her wardrobe; my father's, in his briefcase. I thought it would be funny, until I remembered his work was in it, as well. When I had gone to retrieve it, the case was gone. Then, I ran to my room and hid under the bed, out of fear.

Even then, my father could be a fearsome man. He didn't have an explosive temper, usually; it was the type that smoldered. I happened the witness it once before when Lucius had invited a man named Lestrange to dinner that night.

I had been happy to meet him, when my mother stated he was my uncle, but I was largely ignored by the man when I tried to greet him, like I had been taught.

At the dinner table, Lestrange was shaking so hard that his utensils rattled against the silverware; I found his behavior odd, but I kept eating. Then my father invited him to have a private meeting. I had been curious, since he rarely brought people home, and had followed them and I peeked through the keyhole of the office door. My father simply sat behind his desk, his eyes colder than I had ever seen, causing me to start to worry; this did not look like my father. Lestrange fell to his knees, sobbing, before Lucius had said a word.

"Please brother! I needed the money. Living with her isn't easy. She demands constantly; nothing is good enough. I just wanted to please my wife. Surely you understand!" The prostrate man grabbed the edge of my father's desk, trying to get closer, only to have it struck by the ornamental cane my father sometimes carried. I winced, holding my own fingers.

"We are not brothers, Lestrange." Lucius stated calmly. "The only reason you haven't been dealt with is because, you are married to my wife's sister." I had wondered what he meant by 'dealt with', as I had been too young to understand. "While, I do not like my sister in law, she is money grubbing devious shrew after all, Bella is not a liar, not when she feels she has been wronged. So, find myself believing her word over yours.

"You have been stealing from me, Rodolphus. A rough total of 6 billion pounds has somehow appeared in your private account. Of course dear Bella, ensuring that she received everything due to her, noticed the unaccounted for funds. She was quite peeved that you shared not pence with her, otherwise you might have been able to go unnoticed." I could imagine that my father was upset with himself for not seeing it himself. "She came running straight to Narcissa, with a list of the accounts, who brought them to me." Lucius paused. After a while, it became clear he was done.

"It was a computing erro-" He quieted, when he saw the cane begin to rise again.

"The money will be transferred back to me by Monday." Father rose, making it clear he was finished.

"But I don't have it! My wife made me spend it all on her!" Rodolphus jumped up.

The grin on Lucius' face caused my stomach to clench. I was about to leave, knowing that I wasn't supposed to be there, when they spoke again.

"Then leave what you do still have and then you can disappear. You will never have to see me again. Good day, Lestrange." He bowed his head slightly, before reaching for the door knob.

"You would have me killed-"

"Quiet!" My father's word cutting like a knife.

The knob turned and I ran just in time to not be noticed. I feared my father a little since that day. Or I did for a while, anyway.

This is why I was scared to death, of my father receiving my ill-thought-out gift.

After a while there was a knock, before my father entered. "Draco?" He called out. He didn't sound mad, but I stayed put. Unfortunately, I could feel a sneeze coming, from the dust. He called out again, before starting to leave. Out of nowhere, my cover was blown when the sneeze finally tore through my nose.

"So that's where you've been hiding." Lucius pulled me from under my bed. "Now look at you. You're covered in dust." He ruffled hair, unknowing of the fear I felt. "I loved your present, Draco." He smiled, and I was instantly relieved.

"You aren't mad!" I exclaimed.

My father grimaced a bit, but still looked happy. "You could have picked a better hiding place, but a present from you could never make me mad. Is that why you've been missing all day?"

I nodded.

"Well, I'm not mad, munchkin. Now go clean up before dinner." He said, placing me back on the bed.

After that I always hid his presents. Although, I've refrained from mud pies, since.

"Any ideas?" Harry's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"No. My father has almost everything. But I have to go swipe his card again." I tried to push the resulting memory away, but Harry caught the flush that flew to my cheeks.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." I replied quickly. Harry frowned. "It's really nothing. Just something I really don't want to think about. Ever." I was still bright red, I could feel it. Luckily, Harry didn't further question.

"Ok. Let's go get dressed." Harry almost ran out the room, leaving me to follow.

'Why's he in such a hurry?' I thought, rolling my eyes. 


End file.
